You need to post a warning NO DRINKING DURING: Fw: MIDDLE WIFE (hysterical!)

[Guest guest]

beverage on the screen- me laughing -the dogs beginning to look worried,

 

I think after this long you should have created a Screen Play from this.....

(mercy, catching my breath) Oscar material for sure.........

 

Oh,(gasp) really, thanks

blackpearlfarm

 

=======================================

 

herbal remedies , Jasmina Alisic <jalisic579 wrote:

>

> --- On Mon, 10/26/09, Smgaga8 <Smgaga8 wrote:

>

> Smgaga8 <Smgaga8

> MIDDLE WIFE (hysterica!)

> michellemcox, ckgunnarson, rjmelton

> Monday, October 26, 2009, 10:34 PM

>

>

>

>

>

> MIDDLE WIFE

>

>

>

> #yiv515130280 #yiv1611812071 #yiv1227838583 DIV {

> MARGIN:0px;}

>

>

> For all the teachers present:  keep your camcorders

> handy!!

>  

> A very cute and funny story from a

> teacher!!

>  

> This is hysterical!!!!!!!

>

>  The 'Middle Wife'

> by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.

>  

> I've been teaching now for about

> fifteen years. I have two kids myself,but the best birth story I know is the

one

> I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

>

>  When I was

> a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my

students.

> It helps them get over shyness and usually,show-and-tell is pretty tame.. Kids

> bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,pictures of fish they catch, stuff like

> that And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they

want

> to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

>  

> Well,

> one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,takes her

turn

> and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her

> sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,

> and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

> >>> 

> 'First,

> Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my

> Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an

> umbrella cord.'

>  

> She's standing there with her hands on the pillow,

> and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.The kids

are

> watching her in amazement.

>  

> 'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom

> starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back

and

> groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh,Oh!' (Now this

> kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

>  

> 'My Dad called

> the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car

> like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then

> Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)  'And then, pop! My Mom

> had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just

blew

> up and spilled all over the bed, like sshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread

> with her little hands miming

>  water flowing away. It was too

> much!)

>  

> 'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and

> 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,

all

> of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all

> said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys

> inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in

> there.'

>  

> Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned

> to her seat.

>  

> I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then,

> when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another

'Middle

> Wife' comes along.

>