O/T Joke Lark... May offend

[Guest guest]

A person wrote a letter to the White House complaining about the treatment of

a captive taken during the Afghanistan war. Below is a copy of the response.

 

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, D.C.

 

Dear Concerned Citizen:

 

Thank you for your recent letter criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and

Al Qaeda detainees currently held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba.

The administration takes these matters seriously, and your opinion was heard

loud and clear here in Washington You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the

concerns of citizens like you, we are creating the Terrorist Retraining Program,

to be called the " Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers " program, or LARK

for short. In accordance

with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one

terrorist under your personal care.

 

Your detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation to your

residence next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is to be cared for pursuant

to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of

admonishment. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards

of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in

your letter.

 

Although Ahmed is sociopathic and extremely violent, we hope that your

sensitivity to what you described as his " attitudinal problem " will help him

overcome this character flaw. Perhaps you are correct in describing these

problems as mere cultural differences.

 

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can

extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. He is

also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household

products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless you feel that

this might offend him.

 

Ahmed will not wish to interact with your wife or daughters since he views

females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject

for him. He has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to

comply with the dress code that he considers appropriate, but I'm sure that over

time they will come to enjoy the

anonymity offered by the bhurka. Just remind them that it is all part of

respecting his culture and his religious beliefs.

 

Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you

inform us of the proper way to do our job. Take good care of Ahmed and good

luck!

 

Cordially,

Don Rumsfeld