OT humor/ a child describes birth

[Guest guest]

I rarely pass on funnies, but this one

was irresistable, especially since we have so many

young moms on the list.

 

A kid's idea of birth.

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,

but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade

classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I

always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over

shyness

and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,

model

airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever

place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to

school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very out going kid,

takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow

stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. " This is

Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a

seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months

through an umbrella cord " She's standing there with her hands on the

pillow,

and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The

kids

are watching her in amazement.

Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh,

oh! " Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the

house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh! " Now the kid's doing this hysterical

duck walk, holding her back and groaning.

My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have

a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed

like this. " Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. " And

then,

pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got

thirsty,

and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! " This

kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing

away. It was too much! " Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,

and

breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then,

all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they

all said was from Mom's play-center! so there must be a lot of stuff

inside

there. " Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her

seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in

case another Erica comes along. Sometimes children help us to see the

world

as it is meant to be. Life is so short that we sometimes don't take the

time

to stop and smell the roses...Each one of you has special place in my

heart

and I wish you the best this year and in the years to come. If you think

someone out there needs a laugh today, please pass this on.

 

Ien in the Kootenays

*************************

Healing Body, Mind and Planet

with Wild Whole Foods

http://wildhealing.net

*************************

 

 

[Guest guest]

that was just too funny !!! I have a few grand kids about that age and can

easily see it happening !! ROTFLMAO !!!

Paula .......... in Michigan

 

I rarely pass on funnies, but this one

was irresistable, especially since we have so many

young moms on the list.

 

A kid's idea of birth.

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,

but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade

classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I

always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over

shyness

and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles,

model

airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever

place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to

school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very out going kid,

takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow

stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. " This is

Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a

seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months

through an umbrella cord " She's standing there with her hands on the

pillow,

and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The

kids

are watching her in amazement.

Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh,

oh! " Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. She walked around the

house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh! " Now the kid's doing this hysterical

duck walk, holding her back and groaning.

My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have

a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed

like this. " Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall. " And

then,

pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got

thirsty,

and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew! " This

kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing

away. It was too much! " Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,

and

breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.

Then,

all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they

all said was from Mom's play-center! so there must be a lot of stuff

inside

there. " Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her

seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.

Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in

case another Erica comes along. Sometimes children help us to see the

world

as it is meant to be. Life is so short that we sometimes don't take the

time

to stop and smell the roses...Each one of you has special place in my

heart

and I wish you the best this year and in the years to come. If you think

someone out there needs a laugh today, please pass this on.

 

Ien in the Kootenays

*************************

Healing Body, Mind and Planet

with Wild Whole Foods

http://wildhealing.net

*************************