Case Study: Overcoming Narcissism and the Desire for Comfort

[Guest guest]

I've been working with a women recently who I last saw about 6 years ago. She's

Earth constitution, strongly narcissistic, and perennially works on " eating

issues " as a way of avoiding taking responsibility for her own integrity. She

has an Indian guru, one of the many " Ma's " , and does her mala beads the way

other people use " worry stones " . I like her very much and she does stay with me

as her practitioner despite the fact that I push her to develop.

 

Today, she ended the session by smiling and saying " I'm doing well, there were

two days I didn't crave sugar. " I responded by informing her that the only place

that who she actually really is arises, is in the moment that she's facing her

mind's strongest insanity and makes a wholesome choice based on a greater care

than just ameliorating her cravings. I continued that it isn't the job of a guru

or a medical practitioner to help her feel more comfortable, but rather to

strengthen the place of *autonomy* in her that allows her to stand fast and have

integrity when things aren't comfortable.

 

Who we actually are, in the deepest and best part of ourselves, is most present

when we are taking a convicted stand in the face of an emotional, sensory, or

intellectual onslaught. I literally find myself, and grow stronger, in facing

the challenge and staying focused on the mission.

 

The part of us that wants to manipulate our experience for the sake of feeling

better most often is the disease itself.

 

Of course in cases of terrible pain and serious disease we want to receive or

give relief. That's a significant part of compassion. But the serious and

developed physician always addresses the core. And most of our patients are the

source of their own suffering which honestly, at their level of development, is

a choice and a terrible waste of potential-especially in those who are so

privileged.

 

In the highest medicine, it's not " the patient " we are most concerned with but,

rather, the higher potential that they could be serving were they not so self

involved. Most " psycho-spiritually " oriented " therapy " just reinforces this

pathology by emphasizing the " importance " of feeling states and experiencing

emotions.

 

What I'm teaching focuses on strengthening the influence of, and identification

with, that force at the eye of hurricane within both the individual and the

collective. Call it the taiji, call it the heart/kidney axis, it's that place

where emptiness and spirit (Shen, Large " S " ) are one.