OT: (Humor?) Why Women Can't Communicate Clearly

[Guest guest]

Ahhhh gotta love someone that thinks like that...(He is after all a man,

and fortunately for women... Men.. You can't live with em and you can't

kill em cause they ain't worth goin' ta jail fer.)

 

The majority of the problems in life come from us taking ourselves too dern

seriously that is Men and women as humans do... Live to laugh or laugh to

live...

 

Jennifer

 

 

On Behalf Of Butch Owen

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 3:40 AM

 

OT: (Humor?) Why Women Can't Communicate Clearly

 

Hey y'all,

 

This fits most of the women I've dated in my life .. and in particular it

fits my ex-wife. But .. of course, in no way does it apply to my

present wife. ;-) Y'all keep smiling. :-) Butch

 

------------------------

 

Why Women Can't Communicate Clearly

 

By Matthew Fitzgerald

 

There's an old adage which goes: if you ask a man what time it is, he'll

look at his watch; but if you ask a woman the same question, she'll start

telling you all about the pretty Patek Philippe she saw in the jewelry store

the other day.

 

In other words, you get a straight answer from a man -- but never from a

woman. Yet how many times have you heard the female accusation " men can't

communicate " (usually voiced with a good deal of attitude and scorn)?

 

Since most men are able to interface and exchange information in a logical,

direct and efficient manner, how is it possible that a woman could even make

such a statement?

 

Well, scratch the surface and what you'll find is a very biased female

attitude. It turns out that when women say, " Men can't communicate, "

what they really mean is, " Men can't communicate the way women communicate

with each other. " But to a man, women can't communicate at all.

 

Let's look at these four " communication " strategies women use, and what we

can do to make some sense of it all.

 

1- Women never say what they really mean.

Instead of directly expressing a point or asking a question (as men do), a

woman will talk all around a subject, expecting men to somehow decipher what

she wants or needs.

 

For her, being indirect is a way of life. A woman would rather talk and

talk and talk, and let men play guessing games rather than come to the

point. Here are some examples:

 

When she says, " It's your decision, " what she really means is, " You'd better

know what I really want and give it to me right now. "

 

When she says, " Go ahead, do what you want, " she really means, " I don't want

you to, and you're going to pay for this later. "

 

When she says, " I don't care what a man looks like, as long as he's a nice

guy, " what she really means is, " Providing he's got lots of money and a

status job so my girlfriends will be jealous of me. "

 

2- Women focus on talking, not finding solutions.

Since they aren't used to taking action, women talk instead of seeking out

solutions to problems (they rely on men to actually get things

accomplished). What's more, women think that any problem can be solved by

simply talking about it.

 

So instead of making decisions, they will endlessly catalog alternatives,

seeking advice from anyone and everyone -- then never act upon any of the

suggestions (more often than not, they will give up and cry or just

complain).

 

When it finally does come time to make a decision, a woman will often turn

to a man. But if he chooses wrong -- meaning if he selects an option that

isn't what she really wants -- she will pout and bitch and punish him for

not knowing her unspoken true desires (without ever telling him why she's

pouting and bitchy).

 

Women call this communication.

 

3- Women think with their emotions.

Because they are driven by hormones, female thought patterns are far

divorced from logic. Women love to indulge themselves in feelings and

impressions -- this is why their behavior is so often erratic, moody and

irrational.

 

They think and speak in estrogen.

 

What's more, they have the frustrating ability to think in two directions at

once, each diametrically opposed to the other, so nothing ever gets done.

Often they will say one thing, then actually do the complete opposite, or

take meaning entirely out of context and jump to emotion-based conclusions.

 

For example, if a man says to a woman, " I like your hair, " she'll come back

with, " You mean you didn't like it before? You're embarrassed of me, aren't

you? You think I'm ugly. You don't want to be seen with me. "

 

4- Women expect men to be mind readers (and punish them when they're not).

 

Any woman will tell you that a man is just supposed to " know " what she likes

sexually, where she wants to go, what she wants to do, etc., without her

ever conveying any direct information to him. If he doesn't, this means that

he doesn't really care about her. In other words, women expect men to be

mind readers.

 

There's an old The Dick Van Dyke Show episode in which Rob, as head writer,

has been picking up dinner checks for Buddy and Sally. One night, he takes

Laura along to one of these dinners, grabs the check for everyone, and on

the way home, she's sitting in smoldering silence, sullen, pouting, refusing

to talk to him.

 

" What's the matter? " he asks. " Nothing, " she replies. More pout, more

silence as the miles roll on. After a while, he tries again. " Come on,

Laura, tell me what's wrong. " Laura: " Nothing. " Rob: " Well, there has to be

something wrong, or you wouldn't be acting like this. " Silence.

 

A few more miles go by and finally Laura says, " Ritchie (their young

son) won't be able to go to college. " Rob, of course, is completely

baffled.

 

It turns out that Laura had been extrapolating far into the future, and has

dreamed up a scenario where Rob's generosity would ultimately result in the

depletion of their son's college fund. Somehow, Rob was supposed to " know "

this by reading her mind, and she was punishing him with miles and miles of

pointless drama because he couldn't.

 

Different communication style

 

It still appears that these differences in communication styles are

hard-wired into the male and female brain by nature -- and it would be easy

to just shrug and say, " Vive la difference. "

 

But the problem is, we live in an extremely sexist society -- biased toward

women. Women constantly blame men for their masculinity, punish them for

thinking like men, and scorn them for failing to adopt the female style of

communication.

 

They castigate our gender for not being able to express emotions (yet

hypocritically ridicule men as weak when they do). They lionize

relationship gurus who instruct men to surrender their masculinity and cater

to women.

 

They condemn the male gender by promoting the female communication style as

superior to men's. They even force men to attend sensitivity courses to

learn how to think and communicate more like women.

 

Men get to the point

 

But men aren't supposed to be women. They're not supposed to act like women

or think like women. Men talk to give information or report about facts --

they are logical and goal-oriented. They don't think with their hormones.

They are not irrational, emotion-based, indirect, or hysterical. They have

to communicate their wants and needs directly or nothing will ever get

accomplished.

 

The point is: Men can communicate. And they do it quite clearly.

 

But from the male point of view, it's women who can't communicate. So does

all this mean that the sexes are doomed forever to be separated by a vast

gulf of misunderstanding? Not necessarily so.

 

But first women have to stop expecting us to communicate like women.

They have to stop scorning us for not being like women. Only when they

learn to comprehend and accept the inherent differences in communication

styles, can we both be able meet on a middle ground of understanding.

 

Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on radio

shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and has been

featured on the Montel show and The Other Half.

 

Copyright 1996-2005, IGN Entertainment, Inc.

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Hey y'all,

 

This fits most of the women I've dated in my life .. and in particular

it fits my ex-wife. But .. of course, in no way does it apply to my

present wife. ;-) Y'all keep smiling. :-) Butch

 

------------------------

 

Why Women Can't Communicate Clearly

 

By Matthew Fitzgerald

 

There's an old adage which goes: if you ask a man what time it is, he'll

look at his watch; but if you ask a woman the same question, she'll

start telling you all about the pretty Patek Philippe she saw in the

jewelry store the other day.

 

In other words, you get a straight answer from a man -- but never from a

woman. Yet how many times have you heard the female accusation " men

can't communicate " (usually voiced with a good deal of attitude and scorn)?

 

Since most men are able to interface and exchange information in a

logical, direct and efficient manner, how is it possible that a woman

could even make such a statement?

 

Well, scratch the surface and what you'll find is a very biased female

attitude. It turns out that when women say, " Men can't communicate, "

what they really mean is, " Men can't communicate the way women

communicate with each other. " But to a man, women can't communicate at all.

 

Let's look at these four " communication " strategies women use, and what

we can do to make some sense of it all.

 

1- Women never say what they really mean.

Instead of directly expressing a point or asking a question (as men do),

a woman will talk all around a subject, expecting men to somehow

decipher what she wants or needs.

 

For her, being indirect is a way of life. A woman would rather talk and

talk and talk, and let men play guessing games rather than come to the

point. Here are some examples:

 

When she says, " It's your decision, " what she really means is, " You'd

better know what I really want and give it to me right now. "

 

When she says, " Go ahead, do what you want, " she really means, " I don't

want you to, and you're going to pay for this later. "

 

When she says, " I don't care what a man looks like, as long as he's a

nice guy, " what she really means is, " Providing he's got lots of money

and a status job so my girlfriends will be jealous of me. "

 

2- Women focus on talking, not finding solutions.

Since they aren't used to taking action, women talk instead of seeking

out solutions to problems (they rely on men to actually get things

accomplished). What's more, women think that any problem can be solved

by simply talking about it.

 

So instead of making decisions, they will endlessly catalog

alternatives, seeking advice from anyone and everyone -- then never act

upon any of the suggestions (more often than not, they will give up and

cry or just complain).

 

When it finally does come time to make a decision, a woman will often

turn to a man. But if he chooses wrong -- meaning if he selects an

option that isn't what she really wants -- she will pout and bitch and

punish him for not knowing her unspoken true desires (without ever

telling him why she's pouting and bitchy).

 

Women call this communication.

 

3- Women think with their emotions.

Because they are driven by hormones, female thought patterns are far

divorced from logic. Women love to indulge themselves in feelings and

impressions -- this is why their behavior is so often erratic, moody and

irrational.

 

They think and speak in estrogen.

 

What's more, they have the frustrating ability to think in two

directions at once, each diametrically opposed to the other, so nothing

ever gets done. Often they will say one thing, then actually do the

complete opposite, or take meaning entirely out of context and jump to

emotion-based conclusions.

 

For example, if a man says to a woman, " I like your hair, " she'll come

back with, " You mean you didn't like it before? You're embarrassed of

me, aren't you? You think I'm ugly. You don't want to be seen with me. "

 

4- Women expect men to be mind readers (and punish them when they're not).

 

Any woman will tell you that a man is just supposed to " know " what she

likes sexually, where she wants to go, what she wants to do, etc.,

without her ever conveying any direct information to him. If he doesn't,

this means that he doesn't really care about her. In other words, women

expect men to be mind readers.

 

There's an old The Dick Van Dyke Show episode in which Rob, as head

writer, has been picking up dinner checks for Buddy and Sally. One

night, he takes Laura along to one of these dinners, grabs the check for

everyone, and on the way home, she's sitting in smoldering silence,

sullen, pouting, refusing to talk to him.

 

" What's the matter? " he asks. " Nothing, " she replies. More pout, more

silence as the miles roll on. After a while, he tries again. " Come on,

Laura, tell me what's wrong. " Laura: " Nothing. " Rob: " Well, there has to

be something wrong, or you wouldn't be acting like this. " Silence.

 

A few more miles go by and finally Laura says, " Ritchie (their young

son) won't be able to go to college. " Rob, of course, is completely

baffled.

 

It turns out that Laura had been extrapolating far into the future, and

has dreamed up a scenario where Rob's generosity would ultimately result

in the depletion of their son's college fund. Somehow, Rob was supposed

to " know " this by reading her mind, and she was punishing him with miles

and miles of pointless drama because he couldn't.

 

Different communication style

 

It still appears that these differences in communication styles are

hard-wired into the male and female brain by nature -- and it would be

easy to just shrug and say, " Vive la difference. "

 

But the problem is, we live in an extremely sexist society -- biased

toward women. Women constantly blame men for their masculinity, punish

them for thinking like men, and scorn them for failing to adopt the

female style of communication.

 

They castigate our gender for not being able to express emotions (yet

hypocritically ridicule men as weak when they do). They lionize

relationship gurus who instruct men to surrender their masculinity and

cater to women.

 

They condemn the male gender by promoting the female communication style

as superior to men's. They even force men to attend sensitivity courses

to learn how to think and communicate more like women.

 

Men get to the point

 

But men aren't supposed to be women. They're not supposed to act like

women or think like women. Men talk to give information or report about

facts -- they are logical and goal-oriented. They don't think with their

hormones. They are not irrational, emotion-based, indirect, or

hysterical. They have to communicate their wants and needs directly or

nothing will ever get accomplished.

 

The point is: Men can communicate. And they do it quite clearly.

 

But from the male point of view, it's women who can't communicate. So

does all this mean that the sexes are doomed forever to be separated by

a vast gulf of misunderstanding? Not necessarily so.

 

But first women have to stop expecting us to communicate like women.

They have to stop scorning us for not being like women. Only when they

learn to comprehend and accept the inherent differences in communication

styles, can we both be able meet on a middle ground of understanding.

 

Matthew Fitzgerald is the author of Sex-Ploytation. He has appeared on

radio shows from coast-to-coast in the United States and in Canada, and

has been featured on the Montel show and The Other Half.

 

Copyright 1996-2005, IGN Entertainment, Inc.