OT: Welcome Alexander!

[Guest guest]

Hey Paula,

 

> Hey Butch, is he spoiled yet?

 

No ma'am .. but he knows he's loved and is in good hands. Pappa, Mama

and Grandma are there when he needs them. In fact, we look forward to

him waking up so we can show him that love. ;-)

 

Its my intention to ensure that he is never spoiled. Might be we have

different interpretations of that term. I know parents like to joke

about who spoiled the child and such .. but I don't see it as being a

positive path to character building. I've corrected a helluva lotta

spoiled young ones over the years .. most of them went on to do well and

I still get Christmas cards from many of them .. but there were a few

here and there that are still into the attitude adjustment phase and

their teachers now are generally police or prison guards. ;-)

 

Giving love and teaching responsibility, fairness and self respect are

positives .. spoiling is (to me) a negative. Of course, with a small

baby we can only give love and attention .. but there is no suspense

date for beginning character training. ;-)

 

> Please don't take offence but from your posts,

 

I see nothing in your post that I (or anyone else) could possibly see as

being offensive. Warm beer and dishonorable folks irritate me .. other

than that I go with the flow. ;-)

 

> I picture you as a some-what gruff, maybe a bit rough around the

> edges but under it all lives a lovable miltary man.

 

Not sure how to answer this one. I'm aware that my personality type is

not what one would normally find in the touchy-feely, esoteric world of

holistic healing .. but altruism (or the appearance thereof) is not

limited to those who lean Left .. or are Greens .. or EcoTerrorists.

Its more often found in muddy or sandy foxholes and on dirty, dangerous

city streets, and in burning buildings or while one is picking through

rubble after an earthquake or other natural disaster.

 

Folks who donate big bucks to this or that charity don't impress me

because they are often buying themselves out of guilt .. those who take

a trip to some funky place and get their hands dirty helping folks who

most others would avoid impress me.

 

I evaluate folks by their walk .. not by their talk.

 

I'll never be a successful marketer in this business because I don't

like a lot of the talk .. so I avoid it. In order to be a good BS

artist one must practice a lot and have a good memory .. I don't have

the time to practice and my memory is not all that great. ;-)

 

Gruffness is not one of the favorable characteristics of a good leader.

In the opinions of the professionals I worked for and with for more

than 2/3 of my life I was a successful leader. ;-) Rough around the

edges? Sometimes. Its situation dependent and based on how I perceive

the intentions of the players. I believe there are appropriate times to

be a bit rough and there are times to be polished.

 

I believe all professional military folks are lovable. ;-) What those

on the outside see is almost always not what's really going on inside.

This statement applies to the military as an organization and to the

individual members of the organization. I think it applies to most law

enforcement folks too. Both can function well and still pacify the

pansy politicians .. but its a real game of juggling and sometimes one

has to stick their neck out and back their big boss into a corner.

 

Generally, Western society sees health care and medical workers and the

clergy as being compassionate types of folks .. and most of them are ..

but even those who aren't compassionate must pretend to show that they

can absorb the emotions of the folks they care for .. its seen as a

necessary part of their role as care givers. Occupations such as this

have the makings for great TV mini-series.

 

Folks in some other roles .. like firemen, police officers and soldiers,

and maybe even some judges, also get wrapped up in the problems of those

they serve .. but its generally not acceptable for this group to show

heartache, sadness, fear and stress .. if they do, it makes them appear

(to some folks) to be less professional. So many of them just suck it

up and drive on. Those who are able to do this have many other ways to

relieve themselves of stress and sometimes it might appear they are

being aggressive when they are doing this.

 

Professional police, firefighters and military folks are trained to deal

with the trauma of war and the violence in the streets and though they

dislike it and would prefer peace, they all still volunteer to expose

themselves to these dangers on a daily basis. Outwardly they might

appear to some folks to be unemotional characters .. but this too is a

part of their role .. their families see them in a different light.

 

Some of the toughest and most fearless characters I've known in my

professional life .. men and women who would charge into the maws of

Hell rather than step aside and let the demons pass, are also among the

most emotional and compassionate folks I've ever known .. they cry and

I've cried with them.

 

Often .. after they are finished crying .. they have to go out and play

a different role. Compassion does not require one to be passive. The

meek might inherit the Earth but they will be crapped on a lot before

they get that inheritance and its the job of some folks to do what they

can to see that the meek and especially the helpless are not victimized.

Sometimes we even succeed. ;-)

 

> I bet all that rough and tough guy stuff melts away and you turn

> into a marshmello when you hold that little guy and he looks deep

> into your eyes. Is that a fairly accurate picture of you or am I

> totally off base ?

 

My wife has never seen a rough or gruff side of me in our relationship

and she and my son will not see it in the future. My son will see a

father that is firm and fair. Many folks have seen another side of me

when I believed those I was dealing with deserved such treatment and

they will likely see it again. There's much to be said for the old

Suthran defense of, " But Judge, he deserved an ass kicking. " ;-)

 

Folks who know we well see me as generally being a pussy cat .. but in

every cat lurks a tiger. Back a cat into a corner and you can often

find the tiger .. get between a mother hen and her chicks and you can

find an eagle. ;-)

 

> In your posts about Alexander and your adventure into parenthood,

> it sounds like you are just glowing with happiness.

 

Sure am .. but its not my first adventure into parenthood .. its my

FIFTH. ;-) I glowed with happiness each time but might be glowing a

bit brighter this time because I am no longer a young feller .. I'm on

the downside of the slope now.

 

I live between idealism and realism. Societal norms and expectations of

others are sort of important to me but not enough that I would change my

behavior to satisfy either. I do what I think is right even when folks

are not watching .. and I accept that what I do might not be considered

right in the opinions of some others .. but that's OK. ;-)

 

I intend to do my best to show my son the paths available and to try to

guide him to choose one of the honorable paths.

 

Sorry you asked .. ain't you? ;-)

 

> Paula .......... in Michigan

> I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away

 

Y'all keep smiling. :-) Butch

[Guest guest]

Sorry you asked .. ain't you? ;-)

 

Not at all. If you and your family ever decide to settle in Michigan, I'd be

proud to have you as a neighbor. In many ways, we are very much a like. I'm mom

to 5 but mine are bit older than your little fellow - they are 31, 30, 27, 25

and 22 and I answer to Grammy - 14 times. Turning 50 last birthday didn't bother

me ...... my oldest grandson turning 13 did !! LOL

Paula .......... in Michigan

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away