Pregnancy and Depression (kinda long, okay, it's really long)

[Guest guest]

I'm a little late, but I have a mouthful to say about this.

 

I have been suffering from general anxiety disorder and depression

since 2002 and believe me, it's been a journey. I also had 2 C-

Sections and I'll get to that also.

 

GAD and depression are two very misunderstood disorders and if

anyone suffers from it and has gotten a handle on it, the treatment

is indeed mostly a very individualized one. Meaning that if hugging

cats healed one person, drugs helped another and breathing therapy

helped another, doesn't necessarily mean that they alone are

universal treatments. There are, however, some health care

professionals out there who are making breakthroughs, but

unfortunately, you have to pretty much go on a personal scavenger

hunt to find them and oh boy, when you're depressed, there's nothing

better than hunting for a doctor or someone who will offer you

anything besides shoving a pill at you.

 

I suffered from anxiety as a teenager, so I was shocked when it

popped up 9 months after my second daughter was born and it was back

with a vengence. I was so embarassed that I bucked it up and

suffered in silence, even while making trips to the ER thinking I

was having a heart attack twice. I would wake up in the middle of

the night not feeling I could live anymore which scared the

daylights out of me. I began saying mantras with mala beads while

driving just so I could get from one place to another. I tried

vitamins, working out, Reiki treatments, and I wound up having a

minor nervous breakdown. I went back to work two weeks later after

they put me on Lexapro. They tried Paxil and made me want to commit

suicide after the third day and I got into an argument with the

doctor who tried to tell me that it was my condition that made me

suicidal and not the pill. I may not have felt like living but I

didn't want to end it all.

 

After 9 months of this, I went off and started my aromatherapy

business and I was excited about it. My job had always been

stressful, so I didn't think it was work, but I was working a lot.

But I was so excited about my business that I kept moving along and

then 9 months again after I went off the meds I had a full blown

nervous breakdown and have been out on disability ever since.

 

So have begun my one year of absolute hell. Doctors drove me crazy,

therapists drove me crazy, you really find out who your friends

are. I couldn't find a medication that I could take because they

either kept me awake all night or made me have back to back anxiety

attacks. I would wake up at 4 am and just pace the floor. My

husband, while not understanding this from the getgo, finally came

around to realizing that there was something seriously wrong with

me. I took more vitamins, Bach Flower Therapy, tried to work out

and even went to a Chinese doctor and had acupuncture and herbs

given to me and nothing. I would have an anxiety attack while

getting acupuncture because I would feel too relaxed - how crazy is

that? My co-workers thought I was faking it just to get time off -

puh-leeze! I had medical exams and they could find nothing wrong

with me. My therapists would sit there shrugging their shoulders.

 

Then you have even more fun when the insurance starts paying you and

they begin a biweekly tirade of " aren't you better yet " and cutting

off paying me for stupid reasons like my doctor forgot to dot an " i "

and then having people rant and rave how their grandmothers just

bucked it up and kept on with their lives - no they didn't, they

locked them up in asylums and shocked them and sent them home saying

they were at their Aunt Edna's. My mother can give a pharmacist a

lecture on tranquilizers so that should tell you something.

 

And here I am a year later and I am weaning myself off the Effexor

they gave me. While I am no longer having the anxiety attacks and I

do want to live, I am left with severe fatigue, no patience, I get

easily frustrated in situations and no stress management.

 

But the reason I am weaning myself off the meds is a month ago I

came across a book written by a nutrionalist named Julia Ross and

she wrote a book called The Mood Cure whereas she attributed a lot

of depression and anxiety to not just a lack of vitamins, but amino

acids like L-Tyrosine taken with a combination of 5-HTP, St. John's

Wort. During their research they found that a number of people

reported only having to take the L-Tyrosine for a couple of weeks to

get their energy levels back up. The book is a fascinating read and

I had one of my lawyer friends look at it who is a health fanatic

and is well educated on different vitamins, amino acids and other

nutrients and he gave the book a thumbs up. So I am going to try

this next week and I'll let you all know what happens. I saw Julia

Ross on a news program and I was fascinated with her reports and I

went to Amazon.com and there were a number of positive reviews

written for the book. She does have a disclaimer at the beginning

of the book urging people with bipolar disorder and more serious

mental health issues to not try this and to stick with their doctor.

 

The important healing aspect that has worked for me is that I pay

attention to what are my true feelings and what are my false

feelings, so I've been able to keep my thoughts positive. When a

person has a disposition towards depression, you have to learn to

make your mind work a little harder than the regular person. You

will still have the physical issues of depression, but not the

mental. If there was a gift my nervous breakdown had for me was

that I went back to school to get my nursing degree.

 

And I have to really push massage. It may not be the be all end all

for treatment, but it sure makes things better, especially for those

of us who can't sit still through acupuncture. I made a massage oil

of Lavender and Geranium and it helped my depression and anxiety

immensely. I have oil beside my bed and when I would have an

attack, my husband would give me a full body massage and the anxiety

would stop right then and there.

 

Pregnancy can be rough for some women. We are all different and I

have known some women who were depressed their entire pregnancy.

However, the only way your depression and anxiety will be passed on

to your child is through genetics. People will say all sorts of

careless things which are just as bad as " buck up, kid. " No one

knows until you have been through the darkness first hand and have

felt ever horrible thought you could possibly have. Sometimes

depression does have a spiritual purpose and other times, you just

need to see a doctor. God, I would love to have a face to face with

Tom Cruise.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Michele Madison Robles

Danaomi Scents