Humor: Funeral Sermon

[Guest guest]

As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a

graveside service for a derelict man with no family or friends who had

died while traveling through the area. The funeral was held way back in

the country. This man would be the first to be laid to rest at this

cemetery.

 

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost. Being the

typical man I didn't stop for directions. But I finally arrived an hour

late, I saw the crew and back hoe, but the hearse was no where in sight.

 

The workmen were eating lunch. I apologized to the workers for my

tardiness, (they looked puzzled) I stepped to the side of the open

grave, to find the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I

would not hold them long, but this was the proper thing to do.

 

As the workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out

my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say " Amen,.

Praise the Lord and Glory, (they must have been Baptist). I preached,

and I preached, like I'd never preached before. I began from Genesis

all the way to Revelation. I preached for two hours and 45 minutes.

It was a long and lengthy service. I closed in prayer and it was finished.

 

As I was walking to my car, I felt that I had done my duty and would

leave with a renewed sense of purpose and dedication, in spite of my

tardiness.

 

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat. I overheard one of the

workers saying to another. " I've been putting in septic tanks for 20

years, and I ain't never seen anything like this before.