O/T Cat humor

[Guest guest]

" What's the matter? " They all asked,

 

" Cat got your tongue? "

 

If they only knew!

 

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

 

[Dave:] things like this really do happen. Trust me. I know.

 

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Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.5.2/329 - Release 5/2/2006

 

 

 

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Version: 7.1.385 / Virus Database: 268.5.2/329 - Release 5/2/2006

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Cat Lover or Not, this is hysterical!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top

this one:

 

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.

 

No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss

thinks I'm lying.

 

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because

the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had

sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next

day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage

on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in

to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

 

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I

heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

 

" Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again.

 

Please come reset it. "

 

" You know where the button is, " I protested through the shower pitter-patter

and steam.

 

" Reset it yourself! "

 

" But I'm scared! " she persisted.

 

" What if it starts going and sucks me in? "

 

There was a meaningful pause and then,

 

" C'mon, it'll only take you a second. "

 

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent

outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as

extremely cowardly.

 

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and

 

stuck my head under the sink to find the button.

 

It is the last action I remember performing.

 

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances.

No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.

It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she

spied hanging between my legs.

 

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the

sink.

 

And, at the precise moment when I was

 

most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged

them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control

orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with

the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

 

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a " fight or flight " syndrome. Men,

in this predicament, choose only the " flight " option.

 

I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when

the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact

knocked me out cold.

 

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are

not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen

floor butt naked in front of a group of " been-there, done-that "

 

paramedics.

 

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were

all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while

trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

 

Somehow I lived through it all.

 

A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues

tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent,

claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

 

" What's the matter? " They all asked,

 

" Cat got your tongue? "

 

If they only knew!

 

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

 

Hope your week is better than his!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

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