Humor: Costello Buys a PC From Abbott

[Guest guest]

For those who are old enough to remember the great Abbott-Costello

routine " Who's On First. "

 

-------------------------

 

ABBOTT's Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?

 

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking

about buying a computer.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: Your computer?

 

COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

 

ABBOTT: Mac?

 

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

 

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

 

COSTELLO: Why? Is it stuffy in here?

 

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

 

COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?

 

ABBOTT: Wallpaper?

 

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

 

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

 

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write

proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

 

ABBOTT: I just did.

 

COSTELLO: You just did what?

 

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

 

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: For my office?

 

ABBOTT: Yes.

 

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

 

ABBOTT: Office.

 

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

 

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

 

COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets just

say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do

I need?

 

ABBOTT: Word.

 

COSTELLO: What word?

 

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

 

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

 

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue " W. "

 

COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue " w " if you don't start with some

straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?

 

ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.

 

COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of

your business. Just tell me what I need!

 

ABBOTT: Real One.

 

COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 and 4. Can I

watch them?

 

ABBOTT: Of course.

 

COSTELLO: Great, with what?

 

ABBOTT: Real One.

 

COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do

I do?

 

ABBOTT: You click the blue " 1. "

 

COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?

 

ABBOTT: The blue " 1. "

 

COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue " W " ?

 

ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.

 

COSTELLO: What word?

 

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

 

COSTELLO: But there's three words in " office for windows " !

 

ABBOTT: No, just one. But its the most popular Word is the world.

 

COSTELLO: It is?

 

ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It

Pretty much wiped out all the other Words.

 

COSTELLO: And that word is real one?

 

ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part

of Office.

 

COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What about financial

bookkeeping, you have anything I can track my money with?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

 

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

 

COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Money.

 

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

 

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

 

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

 

ABBOTT: One copy.

 

COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

 

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

 

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

 

(LATER)

 

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

 

ABBOTT: Click on " START " ..........