OT: Becoming Illegal

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Becoming Illegal (From an Maryland resident to his senator)

 

 

The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes

309 Hart Senate Office Building

Washington DC, 20510

 

Dear Senator Sarbanes,

 

As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue

Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the

Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process

for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

 

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to

illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate

and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions

is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for

five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine

and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal

when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before too

many others figure it out.

 

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes

every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of

taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can

apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result

for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

 

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local

emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped

paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could

save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status

would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative

to her law school applications, as well as " in-state " tuition rates for

many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

 

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden

of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car

insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have

college age children driving my car.

 

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal

(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would

be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

 

Your Loyal Constituent,

 

Pete McGlaughlin

 

 

 

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