Guest guest Posted December 30, 2006 Report Share Posted December 30, 2006 I wish you all Wealth, Health, Love and Happiness from my family to yours! They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for the church ladies who type them. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: -------------------- The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------- The sermon this morning: " Jesus Walks on the Water. " The sermon tonight: " Searching for Jesus. " -------------------- Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King. -------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------- The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict. -------------------- Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say " Hell " to someone who doesn't care much about you. -------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang " I will not pass this way again, " giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs. -------------------- Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------------- The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: " Break Forth Into Joy. " -------------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. -------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be " What Is Hell? " Come early and listen to our choir practice. -------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. -------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. -------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------- Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. -------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------- Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done. -------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would send him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance -------------------- The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: " I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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