OT: The dumbing of America, proven in court

[Guest guest]

The Dumbing Down Of

America - Courtroom Testimony

 

 

 

 

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down

and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm and

quiet while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : When is your birthday?

 

WITNESS : July 18th.

 

ATTORNEY : What year?

 

WITNESS : Every year.

 

__

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

 

WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

___

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

 

WITNESS : Yes.

 

ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?

 

WITNESS : I forget.

 

ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

 

_

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : How old is your son, the one living with you?

 

WITNESS : Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

 

ATTORNEY : How long has he lived with you?

 

WITNESS : Forty-five years.

 

___

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Are you sexually active?

 

WITNESS : No, I just lie there.

 

___________

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

 

WITNESS : He said, " Where am I, Cathy? "

 

ATTORNEY : And why did that upset you?

 

WITNESS : My name is Susan.

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

 

WITNESS : We both do.

 

ATTORNEY : Voodoo?

 

WITNESS : We do.

 

ATTORNEY : You do?

 

WITNESS : Yes, voodoo.

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,

he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

 

WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 

_

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?

 

WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one.

 

______

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?

 

WITNESS : Would you repeat the question?

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?

 

WITNESS : Yes.

 

ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time?

 

WITNESS : Uh....

 

___

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?

 

WITNESS : Yes.

 

ATTORNEY : How many were boys?

 

WITNESS : None.

 

ATTORNEY : Were there any girls?

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : How was your first marriage terminated?

 

WITNESS : By death.

 

ATTORNEY : And by whose death was it terminated?

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?

 

WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.

 

ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female?

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition

notice which I sent to your attorney?

 

WITNESS : No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

 

WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

 

WITNESS : Oral.

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

 

WITNESS : The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.

 

ATTORNEY : And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

 

WITNESS : No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him!

 

____

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

 

WITNESS : Huh?

 

____

 

 

 

And the best for the last!!!

 

 

 

 

 

ATTORNEY : Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

 

WITNESS : No.

 

ATTORNEY : Did you check for blood pressure?

 

WITNESS : No.

 

ATTORNEY : Did you check for breathing?

 

WITNESS : No.

 

ATTORNEY : So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began

the autopsy?

 

WITNESS : No.

 

ATTORNEY : How can you be so sure, Doctor?

 

WITNESS : Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

 

ATTORNEY : But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

 

WITNESS : Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing

law.

 

 

 

 

 

" Organized war is not a human instinct. It is a highly planned and

co-operative form of theft. "

 

-Jacob Bronowski

 

 

 

 

--

 

 

Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.17.20/664 - Release 2/2/2007

3:42 PM

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

This was Sooooooooooooo funny !

Thanks, I needed to something to laugh about today.

Diana

 

 

Diana's in Hubbard, Ohio

http://www.Dianascraft-antiqueshop.4t.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Love your site Diana How funny I am from Johnston Ohio I will have to stop and

see you some times.

AMy

-

Diana Shipton

Saturday, February 03, 2007 2:28 PM

Re:OT: The dumbing of America, proven in court

 

 

This was Sooooooooooooo funny !

Thanks, I needed to something to laugh about today.

Diana

 

Diana's in Hubbard, Ohio

http://www.Dianascraft-antiqueshop.4t.com