OT: Humor: Governmentium New Chemical Element

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Governmentium New Chemical Element

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence

of a

new chemical element. A major research institution has recently

announced

the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has

one

neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant

deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which

are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be

detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into

contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that

would

normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; It does not decay,

but

instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant

neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium'

s

Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will

cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to

believe

that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical

concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical

morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes

Administratium… an element that radiates just as much energy as

Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many

morons.