OT: New Direction For The War On Terrorists.

[Guest guest]

New Direction For The War On Terrorists.

 

" Send Prior Combat Vets over 65 "

 

 

I retired after 30 years service and am now over 65 .. the Department of

Defense thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older

than 42 to join the military.)

 

They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off

to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a

military unit until you're at least 35.

 

For starters:

 

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only

think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

 

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a

dangerous soldier. " My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry! "

We are impatient and maybe letting us shoot some asshole that desperately

deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

 

 

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,

" I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up

shooting some fanatic bastard.

 

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put

them. In fact, name, rank, and social security number would be a real

brainteaser.

 

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and

yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for

guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house.

 

 

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat

and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor

did I ever do any pushups in combat. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, " Get

down and give me ... er ... one. "

 

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never

seen anyone outrun a bullet.

 

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to

shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't

figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back

of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a

little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

 

Let us old guys track down those rotten cowards who attacked us on September

11. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed

off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best

years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first

night. ;-)

 

Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can

read it.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Awww man...

 

But you've served already... We could send all the menopausal women...

 

or better yet. Do the perimenopausal women and take away their HORMONE

REPLACEMENT THERAPY and their prozac..

 

Then you'll see those fanatics run...

 

And when they catch Osama... I want them to hook him up on Pitocin..

That's right so he feels the pain of giving a birth, and make sure that

it's long and hard labor too... Then throw some honey on him and let

the fire ants at his ass, and then once he's better because all of the

bleeding hearts have their say... Stump him... And I don't mean tell

him a joke about something....

 

Can you tell I've thought of how exactly I would torture someone if I

absolutely had to?

 

Butch Owen wrote:

>

> New Direction For The War On Terrorists.

>

> " Send Prior Combat Vets over 65 "

>

> I retired after 30 years service and am now over 65 .. the Department of

> Defense thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older

> than 42 to join the military.)

>

> They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off

> to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a

> military unit until you're at least 35.

>

> For starters:

>

> Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old

> guys only

> think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

> additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

>

> Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky

> soldier is a

> dangerous soldier. " My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry! "

> We are impatient and maybe letting us shoot some asshole that desperately

> deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

>

> An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

> Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I

> said,

> " I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up

> shooting some fanatic bastard.

>

> If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put

> them. In fact, name, rank, and social security number would be a real

> brainteaser.

>

> Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and

> yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for

> guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the

> house.

>

> They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat

> and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor

> did I ever do any pushups in combat. I can hear the Drill Sergeant

> now, " Get

> down and give me ... er ... one. "

>

> Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never

> seen anyone outrun a bullet.

>

> An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to

> shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't

> figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back

> of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to

> learn a

> little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

>

> Let us old guys track down those rotten cowards who attacked us on

> September

> 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million

> pissed

> off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their

> best

> years are already behind them.

> If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the

> first

> night. ;-)

>

> Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can

> read it.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Butch,

 

I loved this! Are these YOUR words of wisdom or do we thank both you

and another person? Because I still can't quit laughing!

 

Serra

 

 

 

On Dec 11, 2007 7:45 PM, Butch Owen <butchowen wrote:

New Direction For The War On Terrorists.

>

> " Send Prior Combat Vets over 65 "

>

> I retired after 30 years service and am now over 65 .. the Department of

> Defense thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. (You can't be older

> than 42 to join the military.)

>

> They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off

> to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a

> military unit until you're at least 35.

>

> For starters:

>

> Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys

> only

> think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000

> additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

>

> Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is

> a

> dangerous soldier. " My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry! "

> We are impatient and maybe letting us shoot some asshole that desperately

> deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

>

> An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

> Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,

> " I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up

> shooting some fanatic bastard.

>

> If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put

> them. In fact, name, rank, and social security number would be a real

> brainteaser.

>

> Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and

> yelled at and we like soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for

> guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house.

>

> They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat

> and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor

> did I ever do any pushups in combat. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now,

> " Get

> down and give me ... er ... one. "

>

> Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never

> seen anyone outrun a bullet.

>

> An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to

> shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't

> figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back

> of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn

> a

> little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

>

> Let us old guys track down those rotten cowards who attacked us on

> September

> 11. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed

> off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best

> years are already behind them.

> If nothing else, put us on the border and we will have it secured the first

> night. ;-)

>

> Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so you can

> read it.

>

>

[Guest guest]

At 07:54 AM 12/12/2007, you wrote:

>If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put

>them. In fact, name, rank, and social security number would be a real

>brainteaser.

 

I absolutely LOVE it!!!

 

 

 

Over 12 years online supplying Aromatherapy and Healthcare Professionals

Essential Oils, Hydrosols, Accessories, Hard to find Books and Videos

<http://www.naturesgift.com>