you know you're getting old when/OT

[Guest guest]

My parents had a tragic event or actually, three tragic events unfold this

year. Their three elderly cats died. One as recently as Sunday. They are

devastated, sad and grieving. Then my idiot brother shows up yesterday and

they tell him they won't be getting any more cats. Idiot brother gets in

their faces and tell them they have to get another cat. That they can't NOT

have a cat.

 

first. Some people say that when a pet dies, it's like a member of the

family has died. Those people are dead wrong. The pets ARE members of the

family. And three family members dying within 6 months of each other is

excruciatingly painful.

 

Second. You know you're getting old when you realize that your six year

younger brother is too young for forward thinking. My parents are 72 and 73.

I know what they're thinking. If they get another cat, how are they going to

deal with the end of life issues, such as medication, hand feeding,

takingyour elderly cat to the bathroom every hour because he's forgotten he

needs to use the cat box. Giving them injections twice a day etc when the

cat is ailing, driving them to the vet's office sometimes twice or three

times a week and you yourself are now approaching 90. Even getting a middle

aged cat that could live another 10 years when you're only 82 or 3 and

having to deal with all those issues. I can see where my folks are coming

from. But my brother, who's yet to hit 46 (and has another baby on the way)

is unable to see it from that perspective. All he sees are two people who

for the first time in 52 years are completely without cats.

 

Sigh. I'm not going anywhere with this. There are no great revelations here,

no wonderful pieces of advice or anything useful at all. Just a sudden

realization that the end of things is not always sudden, but can creep up on

you as softly and as silently as a cat walking up behind you on soft paws.

 

K

 

--

Kathleen Petrides

Bead Hussy

http://www.BeadHussy.com

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathleen,

I feel for your parents. I worked in the Veterinary field for 30 plus years

dealing with situations like this constantly.

 

Your parents DO have to grieve, just like they do for a human. Pets are too

much a part of our lives, you have to grieve.

 

Now, I have seen it so many, many times that folks, once they have lost a pet

'swear' they will never ever have another one.

 

It is too early for your folks to know. Of course, your brothers reaction is

typical too and sometimes - and I hope he doesn't do this - he might though - is

bring them a kitten or two.

 

He is well meaning but your folks have just gone through terrible pain as you

said.

 

Anyway, when folks say they will 'never' have another pet - sometimes it's just

because they are still grieving.

 

Time and time again within 6 month to a year (occasionally less) the next thing

you know they are calling the Veterinary Office as they have a new family

member!! I have seen it so many times it isn't even funny.

 

Pets bring such a joy and inner peace to most folks that living without one is

near impossible. And if they have been pet owners for 50 plus years it may be a

void they will need to fill again.

 

And who's to know that a cat or two might not just find them? Again, animals

have this uncanny ability to find kind and loving folks that they know will take

care of them and one day they just show up on the doorstep and before you know

it - they have found a family.

 

So, don't be angry with your brother. Believe it or not he is grieving too.

Maybe one of those cats that died he had a really liking too. And he is missing

them!

 

Time will tell, time will heal. Support your parents and don't worry about the

pets - should they get some more. Pets can help your parents live a whole lot

longer and healthier. It gives them something to 'fuss' about besides sitting

and thinking about themselves getting old.

 

My sister who is 68 never had a pet during her adult life. She lost her husband

nearly 30 years ago and never remarried and she never had children. BUT 2 years

ago - she got a puppy. WOW!!! what a difference it made in her life! She has a

reason to get up (or be awakened by puppydog kisses) everyday. She is more

alive now and HAPPY compared to the person she used to be. She is not worried

about who will care for her little 'Lulu' as she knows someone will certainly

love her the way she does.

 

And again, working in the Veterinary field all those years - most people stay

alive for their pets and if by chance they all get very old together - It was

and is not uncommon for pets to be kindly euthanized and laid beside their

owners in the coffins. Just ask any funeral director - it is not uncommon at

all.

 

So, don't worry, getting old is never going to be easy, but having a pet to be

by your side - makes it easier!!

 

I love pets, and always have. I plan on having dogs until the day I die too.

But that is far off - I'm turning 55 in a week and I think of all the pets I

still get to enjoy in my life.

 

I believe that God gave pets shorter lifespans - so we can enjoy more of them in

our lives. We can't necessarily have dozens of kids to raise and share but even

having only a couple pets at a time - you can enjoy many, many in a lifetime.

 

Grieve with your parents and abide by their wishes. I won't be surprised if

they get or another cat finds them - sooner than you can ever imagine!!

 

Penny

A Pet lover & owner for 55 years (yep I had my first dog when I was a just a wee

one!)

 

Your One Stop Aromatherapy Shop!

Birch Hill Happenings Aromatherapy LLC

100% Pure Essential oils and Supplies

http://birchhillhappenings.com/aroma1.htm

Why buy a gallon when you only need a few drops?

Fast & Friendly Service for 12 years!

 

, Kathleen Petrides <Beadhussy wrote:

>

> My parents had a tragic event or actually, three tragic events unfold this

> year. Their three elderly cats died. One as recently as Sunday. They are

> devastated, sad and grieving. Then my idiot brother shows up yesterday and

> they tell him they won't be getting any more cats. Idiot brother gets in

> their faces and tell them they have to get another cat. That they can't NOT

> have a cat.

>

> first. Some people say that when a pet dies, it's like a member of the

> family has died. Those people are dead wrong. The pets ARE members of the

> family. And three family members dying within 6 months of each other is

> excruciatingly painful.

>

> Second. You know you're getting old when you realize that your six year

> younger brother is too young for forward thinking. My parents are 72 and 73.

> I know what they're thinking. If they get another cat, how are they going to

> deal with the end of life issues, such as medication, hand feeding,

> takingyour elderly cat to the bathroom every hour because he's forgotten he

> needs to use the cat box. Giving them injections twice a day etc when the

> cat is ailing, driving them to the vet's office sometimes twice or three

> times a week and you yourself are now approaching 90. Even getting a middle

> aged cat that could live another 10 years when you're only 82 or 3 and

> having to deal with all those issues. I can see where my folks are coming

> from. But my brother, who's yet to hit 46 (and has another baby on the way)

> is unable to see it from that perspective. All he sees are two people who

> for the first time in 52 years are completely without cats.

>

> Sigh. I'm not going anywhere with this. There are no great revelations here,

> no wonderful pieces of advice or anything useful at all. Just a sudden

> realization that the end of things is not always sudden, but can creep up on

> you as softly and as silently as a cat walking up behind you on soft paws.

>

> K

>

> --

> Kathleen Petrides

> Bead Hussy

> http://www.BeadHussy.com

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that

pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run

and play together. There are hills and valleys so that all

Can be happy while they play and wait.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and

comfortable.

 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;

those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we

remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each

miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops

and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body

quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green

grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. His heart beats with joy

and he runs straight to you. For his

Love has never waivered. He has only been waiting for you to come

Find him so you can be together again. He has been faithful to your

Memory.

 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,

you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.

His heart beats with joy and he runs straight to you.

 

The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved

head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long

gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

 

Author unknown...

 

 

==========================

On 8/27/2009 4:43:15 AM, beadhussy wrote:

> My parents had a tragic event or actually, three tragic events unfold

> this

> year. Their three elderly cats died. One as recently as Sunday. They are

> devastated, sad and grieving.

[Guest guest]

Kathleen,

I grieve with your parents.

Tell those brothers to shove off !!!!

Tell them to chip together every week to pay for some help for your

parents to come in, who is willing to help with the cat box, maybe vet

runs and just general light duties.

Also, call the Commission on Aging in the area your parents live in and

ask for help for your parents. I have someone come in twice a month for

2 hours and it cost nothing ( but I give a donation).

Could not have kept my cat without their help and someone who comes in

an hour here or there to help because of all the surgeries I had on my

left leg and hip.

I live alone and my cat Buddy is ...well, he is my Buddy.

If they get a new cat, I would recommend to get a cat from the shelter

that is maybe a year or so old, that way they know the temperament, it

is trained and just needs a good home.

C-M

[Guest guest]

>Tell them to chip together every week to pay for some help for your

>parents to come in, who is willing to help with the cat box, maybe vet

>runs and just general light duties.

 

 

 

When my parents's dog died 1.5 year ago, they told me they couldn't get

another one, because they didn't know what would happen in 10 years time

(when they are in their mid seventies) and what with the dog then. But they

both can't live without a dog, so my husband and I told them we would

'co-parent' the dog. So we take her for walks, she stays over with us when

my parents go somewhere where they can't take her, she stays with us when my

parents travel by plane. The dog is very much at home with both my parents

and my family, and everyone is happy. My kids love it when the dog stays

over, because she can sleep on my son's bed-end J

 

So this idea for Christa Maria to help your parents take care of the cat, is

a great idea that might work out fine for all involved.

 

Love,

 

Saskia