How to tell if you're a real chilehead

[Guest guest]

You Know You're a Chilehead If:

 

1. You don't have to worry about your co-workers swiping your lunch;

it's too easy to identify a thief by the screaming.

 

2. Your toilet paper spontaneously combusts after use.

 

3. Dave of " Dave's Insanity " thinks _you're_ crazy.

 

5. Your chili recipe is in violation of more than one nuclear

proliferation treaty.

 

6. Your used hankies glow in the dark,

 

7. if you volunteer to cook at your family reunion, no one shows up,

and some people move further away.

 

8. Your kitchen utensils were designed and built by NASA.

 

9. You're tired of people asking about those Thai peppers floating

around in your breakfast cereal.

 

10. Your pepper garden is visible from the moon.

 

11. You use capsaicin-based arthritis ointment as a food additive.

 

12. You have to file an environmental impact statement every time you

make a batch of salsa.

 

13. The diaper service refuses to pick up your kid's didies.

 

!4. You know what " sexually transmitted capsaicin " means.

 

15. You have ever received contraband chile seeds from a foreign country.

 

16. You name your pepper plants, and show pictures of them to strangers.

 

17. Two words: Habanero fudge.