Guest guest Posted May 2, 2001 Report Share Posted May 2, 2001 Help!! I have been a vegetarian for almost 8 years and my youngest son who is almost 6 for his whole life. We have had many discussions about " why " we don't eat animals and when he was younger he used to tell people " we don't eat animals, we hug them " . He has been in kindergarten this past year and I have taken in a " meat replacement " portion of his lunch everyday. My eldest son (age 12) is a meat eater and I have tried to be respectful of his choice--although I don't agree. Tonight at dinner my little one looked at his older brother and asked for a bite of his hotdog. I explained that we had vege dogs in the fridge and if he would like I would make him one. He started crying and said that he wanted to " try " the meat. This isn't the first time that he has asked. He leaned over and took a bite. I have been crying ever since and am at a terrible loss on how to handle this situation. I know that we need to talk, but I need some words of wisdom to help me along this path. I am against his eating meat. I tried bringing up that they killed animals to make that hotdog. But he cried and I cried and I felt that we needed to talk about this after we got ahold of ourselves. He told me later in the evening that he was just curious. Please help...it's all so easy when they are small but as they grow they make their own choices. I want him to make the right one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2001 Report Share Posted May 4, 2001 To the mom whose son wanted to try a meat hot-dog: Don't panic! Trying is not the same as giving up vegetarianism forever, and anyway, you wouldn't stop loving him if he did give up vegetarianism, would you? I know how you feel, though. My son felt pressured to try a sip of chicken soup at school one day and both of us were upset over it. Now, several months later, I seldom think of it. He is still vegetarian. Kids will experiment, and adults will slip up. As we keep reminding each other on this list, there is no such thing as perfection! Susan ______________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 4, 2001 Report Share Posted May 4, 2001 did anyone reply to you yet? I am in great haste, but I wanted to just tell you that I know how hard that must have been, but I also think it is hard for the little one to watch his older brother eating all this stuff. And of course you want your 6-year-old to be curious! What a hard place to be -- I suggest that you don't guilt trip the younger child at all, but just point out that somethings that are not good for you and not good for the animal might still taste good. Also, different people make different decisions, and each person has to balance what is right for them. that means it is okay for your child to make decisions that are different from his brother, but it also means it is okay for your child to make decisions that are different from you (sigh, that is the really hard part -- when they don't do what we want them to do!). also, I think the most important thing to remembe r is process -- growing up is such a long process, and our vegetarian kids are surely going to eat meat at some point along the way -- we just have to hope that they return to the ideas we have inculcated in them as soon as possible. Both my children have tasted meat -- my eldest did so about the same age as your child is now, but fortunately it was pepperoni, and she spit it right out. The other got pepperoni too coincidently on a pizza accidentally served to her, and then once again in an Indian food that was all covered up -- again an accident. I felt that they had soiled her! But things did right themselves, and I hope the same for you and your family! good luck! unlimitedsolutions2001 wrote: > Help!! I have been a vegetarian for almost 8 years and my youngest > son who is almost 6 for his whole life. We have had many discussions > about " why " we don't eat animals and when he was younger he used to > tell people " we don't eat animals, we hug them " . He has been in > kindergarten this past year and I have taken in a " meat replacement " > portion of his lunch everyday. My eldest son (age 12) is a meat > eater and I have tried to be respectful of his choice--although I > don't agree. Tonight at dinner my little one looked at his older > brother and asked for a bite of his hotdog. I explained that we had > vege dogs in the fridge and if he would like I would make him one. > He started crying and said that he wanted to " try " the meat. This > isn't the first time that he has asked. He leaned over and took a > bite. I have been crying ever since and am at a terrible loss on how > to handle this situation. I know that we need to talk, but I need > some words of wisdom to help me along this path. I am against his > eating meat. I tried bringing up that they killed animals to make > that hotdog. But he cried and I cried and I felt that we needed to > talk about this after we got ahold of ourselves. He told me later in > the evening that he was just curious. Please help...it's all so > easy when they are small but as they grow they make their own > choices. I want him to make the right one. > > > For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2001 Report Share Posted May 8, 2001 You don't mention if there is another parent involved, so I am going to address this assuming that there is not or that the parent is also veggie. I thnk the most important thing is to be clear and consistent in your expectations of your children and in what the atmosphere you establish in the house is. It is one thing to respect your older childs decisions, but by not making it clear that you expect your home to be a certain way (in this case vegetarian) you condone the behavior as well. The rules of the home must reflect your moral and ethical principles. In the current situation your younger child sees meat as something that he can't have until he's older like his sibling and, of course, he can't wait to be treated like he's older. When my children became school age they were told that they would have choices and decisions to make in the school cafeteria and that they would need to deal with this. We also made clear our personal desires and expectations of them and that our home would always be vegetarian. I think you need to be clear with your kids about your expectations and stand up for your principles. You can respect your older son by not telling him how he must eat when he's away from home and by loving him no matter what he decides. Your home should be vegetarian, though. The example must be set at home, this is where the kids learn what you feel is right and wrong and where they will develop their opinions of right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with occasionally imposing your will on your children, it's part of being a responsible parent. You asked for advice and now I have expounded endlessly. Hopefully there is something of use in here. Do with it what you will. Good luck, Phil Welsher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2001 Report Share Posted May 8, 2001 Phil- What if you assume the other parent is not veggie... how would you address this? Just wondering:-) Carmen in Norway >You don't mention if there is another parent involved, so I am going to >address this assuming that there is not or that the parent is also veggie. > >I thnk the most important thing is to be clear and consistent in your >expectations of your children and in what the atmosphere you establish in >the >house is. > >It is one thing to respect your older childs decisions, but by not making it >clear that you expect your home to be a certain way (in this case >vegetarian) >you condone the behavior as well. The rules of the home must reflect your >moral and ethical principles. > >In the current situation your younger child sees meat as something that he >can't have until he's older like his sibling and, of course, he can't wait >to >be treated like he's older. > >When my children became school age they were told that they would have >choices and decisions to make in the school cafeteria and that they would >need to deal with this. We also made clear our personal desires and >expectations of them and that our home would always be vegetarian. > >I think you need to be clear with your kids about your expectations and >stand >up for your principles. You can respect your older son by not telling him >how he must eat when he's away from home and by loving him no matter what he >decides. Your home should be vegetarian, though. The example must be set >at >home, this is where the kids learn what you feel is right and wrong and >where >they will develop their opinions of right and wrong. > >There is nothing wrong with occasionally imposing your will on your >children, >it's part of being a responsible parent. > >You asked for advice and now I have expounded endlessly. Hopefully there is >something of use in here. Do with it what you will. > >Good luck, > >Phil Welsher Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2001 Report Share Posted May 8, 2001 " The example must be set at home, this is where the kids learn what you feel is right and wrong and where they will develop their opinions of right and wrong. There is nothing wrong with occasionally imposing your will on your children, it's part of being a responsible parent. " Bravo, Phil! Great advice for all areas of parenting. Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2001 Report Share Posted May 8, 2001 Gee Carmen, I was really hoping no one would ask. My answer would be sort of the same though, with the addition that parents need to be able to agree with each other first on the type of home they want. The way moral and ethical positions are to be dealt with, basic beliefs and principles still need to be consistent. Children need this, so parents need to be able to agree and establish the ground rules. Parents need to have common goals as far as raising kids. I know it's not easy. Having a parent with more vegan leanings and one that's more ovo-lacto can cause enough problems. I do think it's best to be as unambiguous as possible for as long as possible and not to present conflicting positions. Enough additional rambling rhetoric. Phil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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