Husband and I disagree about raising child vegetarian

[Guest guest]

My husband and I have a 18 month old son whom we are

raising vegan. Obviously he is too young for us to

have encountered the " teasing " problem your husband is

concerned about.

 

First of all, no parent wants to see his/her child get

teased. Unfortunately, eating meat will not spare you

child the pain of being teased. All children

(including meat eaters) get teased about something.

Teaching a child how to stand up to others with

dignity intact will be a valuable lesson.

 

Second of all, it IS difficult to do what is right,

especially when none or few of your peers agree with

you. Again, this can be a character-building

experience. I wouldn't let my child drink or take

drugs just because " everyone else is doing it. " And

yes, if a child really wants to rebel he/she will

sneak around and do it behind your back. However,

when a child is raised with certain values, he/she

will end up coming back to those values when the

rebellion period is over.

 

My husband and I have talked about the " birthday

party " scenario. We plan on speaking to the child's

parents ahead of time and offering to send some vegan

food for everyone to share.

 

If we do find out that our son has eaten

meat/dairy/eggs at a party or at a friend's house, I

do not intend to go off the deep end about it. I will

just again explain to my son why we do not eat animal

products. We also plan on taking our son to animal

sanctuaries so that he can become friends with real

pigs, chickens etc. so that he will understand that

animals are feeling, thinking beings. Children by

nature love animals, and humans have to be taught to

disregard their feelings in order to eat them. I

believe that a young child will understand that it not

right to hurt animals long before he/she can express

an animal rights philosophy.

 

Good luck and don't give in. You will only be sending

your child mixed messages that will confuse him/her.

 

> I have been vegetarian for 11 years (since 16) and

> my husband has

> been vegetarian for 6 years. We are thinking about

> starting a family

> but our disagreement on this important issue is

> really holding us

> back. I have always imagined raising any children I

> have as

> vegetarians since I am so against eating meat. My

> husband does not

> eat meat for the same moral reasons that I don't,

> though we both

> respect other's choices to eat meat and do not

> preach our beliefs to

> meat-eaters. Enough about that...

>

> Our disagreement: I want to raise the child

> vegetarian from the

> start, my husband wants to start the child eating

> meat and then let

> him choose to be a vegetarian later on if he/she

> decides to. He feels

> that becoming a vegetarian is a personal decision

> that goes against

> society's norm and should be left up to the

> individual, not forced

> upon them. I believe this as well, but feel our

> child should be

> brought up vegetarian and then when old enough can

> decide if he/she

> wants to start eating meat. His main concern is that

> the child will

> grow up being teased and feeling left out in some

> way because his

> friends will likely be meat-eaters. He brought up

> the scenario of our

> child being at a birthday party at 5 yrs old and

> having to not eat

> the hot dogs that all the other kids were being

> served. He thinks

> that our 5 yr old should be able to eat that hot dog

> if he wants to -

> I think not.

>

> I have dealt with a lot of criticism of course, but

> I switched to

> vegetarian at 16 when I could easily defend myself

> (believe me, my

> family gave me hell). I never saw a young vegetarian

> child be teased,

> but I can't say that I knew/know many vegetarian

> children. My husband

> grew up calling the vegetarians down the street

> " weed eaters " and

> thinking they were strange. You can see why we have

> different

> opinions on this.

>

> To me it seems so obvious that our child should be

> vegetarian at

> least until he is old enough to form his own opinion

> for many

> reasons - 1) I don't plan on eating meat during

> pregnancy, he'll be

> vegetarian from the start so why change later on, 2)

> Being vegetarian

> is a strong moral choice for me, and for my husband

> as well, 3) A

> child can get teased for anything these days and

> being vegetarian

> isn't the worst thing that people could make fun of,

> and finally 4) I

> am sure we can raise the child to be proud of being

> vegetarian and to

> understand that someone who makes fun of him just

> might not really

> understand the reasons for not eating meat.

> **added question from my husband since the original

> post... " how old

> is old enough? "

>

> To my husband it seems so obviously wrong to force a

> child to be

> vegetarian. We feel equally strong about our

> opinions and really are

> in a dilemma here. Unfortunately we can't just agree

> to disagree and

> still have a child in this situation.

>

> So, he suggested I get other's opinions on this. Can

> you share your

> experiences raising vegetarian children? any

> problems with teasing?

> Does the child understand at a young age why we

> don't eat meat? What

> do you do when the child is not with you (say, at a

> friend's birthday

> party) and meat is served - how do you explain to a

> 5 year old that

> they aren't supposed to eat what their friends are

> eating? Do your

> children feel bad because they often have to have

> something different

> to eat?

>

> ***I'd like to add that at the present time, my

> husband seems to be

> searching for people who have been vegetarian/vegan

> from birth

> (though I'd love to hear from anyone on this topic).

> He wants to

> know how difficult it is for them to deal with

> teasing and

> disapproval from others. I have some hope now

> because he did say

> that if he heard from veggies-from-birth people who

> had good

> experiences, he would consider giving it a shot.

> Believe me, him

> saying this feels like a victory all in its own

> already (It's been

> such a struggle)!!

>

> Any replies would be greatly appreciated! Thank you

> in advance!

>

> Hilary

 

 

 

 

Make international calls for as low as $.04/minute with Messenger

http://phonecard./

[Guest guest]

I have to agree with gratefulveg. You can't keep your kids from being

teased, it's part of growing up.

 

It seems like I might have some of the older " kids " on the list. My son is

12 and my daughter is 18. If you would like I will ask them to write to you

about their experiences growing up veggie. They have not been teased much

about the vegetarianism. Most of their friends express admiration for their

" courage " and principles.

 

We have always been honest and direct with them about why we are vegetarian

and about why many other people are not.

 

Raising kids as vegetarians allows them the flexibility to choose, at some

point, how they will eat. Raising them as meat eaters takes choice away from

them.

 

Kids need consistency and stability in their home, to deny your moral and

ethical standards for them will be very confusing to them.

 

When my kids started school I talked with them about eating away from home

and making choices on their own, even at the age of 5-6 years old they can

understand if it's explained to them. They both have chosen to remain

vegetarian without any variance.

 

Parties and playing over the homes of friends can always be handled with a

phone call and an offer to bring something if it will help. When parties are

at restaraunts or facilities offer to call the facility and arrange things

for your kid.

 

My kids are strong minded (read opinionated) and committed kids and I don't

regret raising them vegetarian for a second.

 

Phil Welsher

[Guest guest]

--- >

> My husband and I have talked about the " birthday

> party " scenario. We plan on speaking to the child's

> parents ahead of time and offering to send some vegan

> food for everyone to share.

>

> Most people are very caught up in thier food. unless the hostest is

a good friend she might take unkindly to the suggestion to bring

food.I do not want my girls to eat flavors and dyes also.

I always feed them good food before a party and just bring a snack

most kid most of the time are very excited and would rather play than

eat anyway.This has not been a big deal for us.

Felice