Guest guest Posted August 30, 2001 Report Share Posted August 30, 2001 Start Praying for a Day Care with a Vegetarian on Staff on seek a Seventh Day Adventist Day Care. They are vegan and they have the Greatest Day Cares. This will put you at ease and put your daughter in a super safe day sitting My Prayers will be with You Lynda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2001 Report Share Posted August 30, 2001 Carol, I feel for you, although nothing like that has happened (yet!) with my almost-3-year-old. The way I see it, your daughter doesn't realize what she ate was meat, so no lasting damage was done. And by the time she's old enough to know what it is, she'll also be old enough to refuse it when offered. And with a caring and supportive mom like you, I bet she'll be bold about refusing it when that time comes. As for her feeling different, maybe you could offer some veg meal/snack ideas to the daycare. That way everyone can enjoy! Good luck to you and God bless, Bonnie - <ccl Thursday, August 30, 2001 1:01 PM rant > Let me preface this by saying that I'm a single mom and my daughter's > father took off before she was born...so day care is not optional for > us if we want to eat, veg or otherwise. That said... > <rant> I picked up my daughter yesterday and one of the assistant > teachers slipped up and told me she had chicken noodle soup for lunch. > When I asked the head teacher, she acted like it wasn't that big of a > deal... she " just didn't really think of chicken as meat. " I thought > my head was going to explode and I let her know I was angry and I was > perhaps a trifle more sarcastic than the situation called for. > (Something along the lines of " well, when you want eggs do you pick > them off of your chicken plant? " ) I was torn between yelling and > crying. I want her to understand that in my mind she fed my child a > decomposing animal carcass and it's no different than if they had gone > out to the highway and picked up some road kill for lunch. Lucky for > her I'm non-violent because my impulse was to shake her until her > neurons made the dead animal= meat connection. And now I feel like a > terrible mom because I'm not around to protect my two-year-old (she's > just not old enough yet to say, " hey, this is a dead animal you're > giving me for lunch " ) and then I feel like a terrible mom because I'm > making her be different from all the other kids at pre-school. But I've > been veg for around 10 years and I did not make the decision lightly to > have a veg pregnancy and raise my daughter veg. I genuinely think it's > the healthiest thing for her and I think it's morally the right way to > go and fits in best with the values I have and want her to learn. And I > know, I'm preaching to the choir but I really needed to VENT! </rant> > > Thanks:) > > Carol > Mom to Lucia, almost 2 > > > > > > For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 30, 2001 Report Share Posted August 30, 2001 Carol, Don't feel bad about any of your reactions. I would have reacted the same way. My daughter is only 6 months old right now, so it hasn't been an issue yet, but you better believe I'd want to rattle anyone who did something like that. I've accepted the fact that it's probably going to be impossible to guarantee that she will never ingest anything that has even a particle of dairy or egg in it (I'm sure the occasional non-vegan cookie will make its way into her mouth, via some well-meaning but ignorant person.) But if someone intentionally fed her meat, I think I'd feel very un-pacifist about it. You have every right to be angry. People should respect your beliefs and value system just as they would any other. You are NOT a bad mom in any way. It is unrealistic and unfair to expect to be able to watch over your kid every second of the day. There is nothing wrong with expecting good care of her during the times when you're not able to be there. It is not in any way your fault that these people disregarded your instructions for your daughter's diet. I think that the very best parents are those who, like you, actually take the time and energy to think and make choices for what's best for their children and the world they live in, and are willing to go against the norm if you think it's for the betterment of our world. Your daughter will be so lucky to grow up raised by a woman who actually CARES about something and is willing to stand up for it and live a moral and ethical life in keeping with her values. Any person can just raise their kid being a consumerist, non-compassionate, mindless member of the masses - it takes courage to do something different. I would try explaining to them again what you mean by vegetarian, and if they don't feel they can comply, maybe pack her lunches for her and instruct them to feed her only that. The only other advice I would give is not to make too big a deal of it in front of Lucia, since she's not really old enough yet to understand what all the fuss is about, and may just think you're angry at her. When she's a little older, she'll be able to be more careful on her own. I totally sympathize with you, and don't want you to feel that you're doing anything bad as a mother - you seem like a great mom. Leena -- " Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. " Bradley Miller All beings tremble before violence. All love life. All fear death. See yourself in others. Then whom can you hurt? What harm can you do? -The Buddha Visit the garden: http://www.leenasgarden.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2001 Report Share Posted August 31, 2001 Hi Carol; I'm new here, but here's my two cents. We make a lot of non traditional parenting decisions in our family so I can really relate to worrying about the consequences this will have for our children. But I've come to believe that we only regret the times when we choose NOT to follow our hearts. You are teaching your daughter that sometimes the best choice is not the one that everyone else is making--we have to think for ourselves. I also believe its important to find others who share our ideas. In my homeschooling group many of the families are vegetarian or at least very concerned with nutrition and avoiding a synthetic diet, choose natural healing methods, and basically parent in much the same way I do. It has been a god send for me to find a safe place where my kids are not at all different. It helps offset the times when I have to step between them and the red-dye laden soda pop somebody is trying to give them. Do you have a vegetarian group in your area. Perhaps you could find a stay at home mom there who would be willing to take care of your daughter so you could get her out of a situation where your desires are not being respected. I feel for you and am saddened that you are feeling guilty. We can only do the best we can do. Life twists and turns--all we can do is lean. Deborah - ccl Thursday, August 30, 2001 12:01 PM rant Let me preface this by saying that I'm a single mom and my daughter's father took off before she was born...so day care is not optional for us if we want to eat, veg or otherwise. That said... <rant> I picked up my daughter yesterday and one of the assistant teachers slipped up and told me she had chicken noodle soup for lunch. When I asked the head teacher, she acted like it wasn't that big of a deal... she " just didn't really think of chicken as meat. " I thought my head was going to explode and I let her know I was angry and I was perhaps a trifle more sarcastic than the situation called for. (Something along the lines of " well, when you want eggs do you pick them off of your chicken plant? " ) I was torn between yelling and crying. I want her to understand that in my mind she fed my child a decomposing animal carcass and it's no different than if they had gone out to the highway and picked up some road kill for lunch. Lucky for her I'm non-violent because my impulse was to shake her until her neurons made the dead animal= meat connection. And now I feel like a terrible mom because I'm not around to protect my two-year-old (she's just not old enough yet to say, " hey, this is a dead animal you're giving me for lunch " ) and then I feel like a terrible mom because I'm making her be different from all the other kids at pre-school. But I've been veg for around 10 years and I did not make the decision lightly to have a veg pregnancy and raise my daughter veg. I genuinely think it's the healthiest thing for her and I think it's morally the right way to go and fits in best with the values I have and want her to learn. And I know, I'm preaching to the choir but I really needed to VENT! </rant> Thanks:) Carol Mom to Lucia, almost 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 31, 2001 Report Share Posted August 31, 2001 Hello Carol, I'm a quasi-vegetarian with a 4 yo daughter born & raised the same. I used to work at a health food store in Hong Kong. I've encountered another situation in her school where she was given a veggie swiss roll full of preservatives and artifical colors, a standard snack item in the school menu. I've found out occasionally. I was upset and put down a healthy guideline on choosing preservative-free packaged foodstuff for school kids in my daughter's handbook. Basically, I put down my daughter's diet guideline with dos and donts in her handbook and other requested document to the school. Specify as much as I can what kind of stuff I don't allow my kid be fed, eg. hot dog, sausage.... To be sure of her diet is red-meat free, I then asked for a monthly menu plan from her class teacher. I gave them a calendar sheet for the teacher to fill in every month. From the monthly menu, you know what alternative you can suggest the teacher in replace of the school's standard meaty snack items much in advance so that the teacher can adjust/prepare ahead of time. For example, my daugther's class had a standard morning snack, sausage roll, offered every Monday. I put down on the student handbook of an alternative, plain bread, ahead of time. If they can't do it, I'd bring my own. That method has worked well with me, except additive-rich veggie snack which was hard for me to check out from the simple descriptive menu plan. Always put our requirement on writing to serve as a proof/reminder that the teacher needs to follow. Communicate with teacher with memo/in person constantly to check. Send them reminder note so that they won't forget. If you have time, cut out article for your teacher to read & understand more. Believe me, they are ignorant and express the same way that makes us upset. So change the strategy, teach the teacher with facts, figures, articles. They won't be insensitive anymore. It surely takes time and effort. But you're doing not just for your daughter's sake but also expand your influence to an opinion leader/teacher who can spread to other colleagues/children/parents. Oops, I'm going to send email to my daughter's school about the additive thing as well. Let the school understand there are a lot of health nuts, vegans, in their school:) Yolanda Che-Cabug (Hong Kong) --- ccl wrote: <HR> <html><body> <tt> Let me preface this by saying that I'm a single mom and my daughter's <BR> father took off before she was born...so day care is not optional for <BR> us if we want to eat, veg or otherwise. That said... <BR> & lt;rant & gt; I picked up my daughter yesterday and one of the assistant <BR> teachers slipped up and told me she had chicken noodle soup for lunch. <BR> When I asked the head teacher, she acted like it wasn't that big of a <BR> deal... she & quot;just didn't really think of chicken as meat. & quot; & nbsp; I thought <BR> my head was going to explode and I let her know I was angry and I was <BR> perhaps a trifle more sarcastic than the situation called for. <BR> (Something along the lines of & quot;well, when you want eggs do you pick <BR> them off of your chicken plant? & quot;) I was torn between yelling and <BR> crying. I want her to understand that in my mind she fed my child a <BR> decomposing animal carcass and it's no different than if they had gone <BR> out to the highway and picked up some road kill for lunch. Lucky for <BR> her I'm non-violent because my impulse was to shake her until her <BR> neurons made the dead animal= meat connection. And now I feel like a <BR> terrible mom because I'm not around to protect my two-year-old (she's <BR> just not old enough yet to say, & quot;hey, this is a dead animal you're <BR> giving me for lunch & quot;) and then I feel like a terrible mom because I'm <BR> making her be different from all the other kids at pre-school. But I've <BR> been veg for around 10 years and I did not make the decision lightly to <BR> have a veg pregnancy and raise my daughter veg. I genuinely think it's <BR> the healthiest thing for her and I think it's morally the right way to <BR> go and fits in best with the values I have and want her to learn. And I <BR> know, I'm preaching to the choir but I really needed to VENT! & lt;/rant & gt;<BR> <BR> Thanks:)<BR> <BR> Carol<BR> Mom to Lucia, almost 2<BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> </tt> <br> <!-- |**|begin egp html banner|**| --> <table border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2> <tr bgcolor=#FFFFCC> <td align=center><font size= " -1 " color=#003399><b> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2001 Report Share Posted September 1, 2001 I > I was torn between yelling and > crying.( think that you should do both)I feel like a terrible mom because > I'm > making her be different from all the other kids at pre-school.( she is > different from most -thank the Goddess) > Felice " My darling girl, when are you going to understand that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue. It rather denotes a lack of courage! " Aunt Frances in Practical Magic " Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. " Bradley Miller Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 1, 2001 Report Share Posted September 1, 2001 Carol Is it an option to bring a lunch for your daughter? That's what I did for my son and it worked out fairly well. The daycare staff were fine with it-in fact, I think they preferred it because they knew I didn't want my son having sugar, preservatives, processed foods, GMOs etc. While they respected my right to raise my son veg they just didn't understand it.( Thought I was a bit nutty more like...) They were relieved not to have to read ingredient lists, etc. If you're worried about her feeling different from the other kids, you could ask for the week's menu in advance (my daycare is required to post it for all to see) and try to mimic the food that will be served (send ww pasta & nutritional yeast on mac & cheese day or tofu dogs on hot dog day). It is extra work for you but at least you know what she's eating. Good Luck! Madeline >ccl > > > rant >Thu, 30 Aug 2001 17:01:43 -0000 > >Let me preface this by saying that I'm a single mom and my daughter's >father took off before she was born...so day care is not optional for >us if we want to eat, veg or otherwise. That said... ><rant> I picked up my daughter yesterday and one of the assistant >teachers slipped up and told me she had chicken noodle soup for lunch. >When I asked the head teacher, she acted like it wasn't that big of a >deal... she " just didn't really think of chicken as meat. " I thought >my head was going to explode and I let her know I was angry and I was >perhaps a trifle more sarcastic than the situation called for. >(Something along the lines of " well, when you want eggs do you pick >them off of your chicken plant? " ) I was torn between yelling and >crying. I want her to understand that in my mind she fed my child a >decomposing animal carcass and it's no different than if they had gone >out to the highway and picked up some road kill for lunch. Lucky for >her I'm non-violent because my impulse was to shake her until her >neurons made the dead animal= meat connection. And now I feel like a >terrible mom because I'm not around to protect my two-year-old (she's >just not old enough yet to say, " hey, this is a dead animal you're >giving me for lunch " ) and then I feel like a terrible mom because I'm >making her be different from all the other kids at pre-school. But I've >been veg for around 10 years and I did not make the decision lightly to >have a veg pregnancy and raise my daughter veg. I genuinely think it's >the healthiest thing for her and I think it's morally the right way to >go and fits in best with the values I have and want her to learn. And I >know, I'm preaching to the choir but I really needed to VENT! </rant> > >Thanks:) > >Carol >Mom to Lucia, almost 2 > > > _______________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2001 Report Share Posted September 4, 2001 Wow! Thanks for all the responses to my " chicken isn't meat " rant! I appreciate all the support and ideas and prayers. I've asked to meet with the daycare director and the cook at the center and we are going to get together Thursday. I know they both feel cornered by rules and regs, but I explained that I'd like to explore some options (bringing food for my daughter, etc.) because what we have going on now is not really in her best interests, in my opinion. I asked if I could bring some info on exactly what veg*ism is so they could better understand my perspective and the director said she'd be happy to read whatever I bring. (My daughter is kind of a classroom " star " and I'm a very supportive and generally easygoing parent, so they're willing to try to work this out). She did say that because of all the rules and regs it might require a doctor's note to get around some of that; fortunately, the ped. has a veg-supportive nurse prac who has said she'd be glad to provide that. Nowwww...can anyone suggest a good source for very, very, very basic veg info? Thanks again! Carol (mom to Lucia, almost-2) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2001 Report Share Posted September 5, 2001 I have followed your story with great interest, so glad to hear you're meeting with them and they seem open. Two great pieces of literature that I pass out about vegetarianism/veganism are " Why Vegan " and " 101 Reasons Why I'm a Vegetarian " , you can print them from www.veganoutreach.org and www.vivavegie.org Good luck and hope these help! Jeannie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 7, 2001 Report Share Posted September 7, 2001 The Vegetarian Resource Group http://www.vrg.org >ccl > > > Re: rant >Tue, 04 Sep 2001 20:59:19 -0000 > >Wow! Thanks for all the responses to my " chicken isn't meat " rant! I >appreciate all the support and ideas and prayers. > > I've asked to meet with the daycare director and the cook at the >center and we are going to get together Thursday. I know they both >feel cornered by rules and regs, but I explained that I'd like to >explore some options (bringing food for my daughter, etc.) because >what we have going on now is not really in her best interests, in my >opinion. I asked if I could bring some info on exactly what veg*ism is >so they could better understand my perspective and the director said >she'd be happy to read whatever I bring. (My daughter is kind of a >classroom " star " and I'm a very supportive and generally easygoing >parent, so they're willing to try to work this out). > >She did say that because of all the rules and regs it might require a >doctor's note to get around some of that; fortunately, the ped. has a >veg-supportive nurse prac who has said she'd be glad to provide that. > >Nowwww...can anyone suggest a good source for very, very, very basic >veg info? > >Thanks again! > >Carol (mom to Lucia, almost-2) > > > _______________ Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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