Debbie & keeping kids veg under pressure

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

 

I read your post about your 4 1/2 daughter and your

trouble. One thing I do that might help you is offer

yummy substitutes for things my son may want. Its

usually not healthy, but its much better than the

alternatives he may want. For example, I have a

" vegan stash " in a cabinet. It has vegan " oreo " -type

cookies, Lindt chocolate bars which are vegan, and

jelly bellies of assorted flavors -- which are vegan?

--had no gelatin in ingredient list, just beeswax.

Yesterday, after playing outside with his friends he

brought home a marshmallow his friend had given him

and asked if he could eat it (much training in not

eating things from friends without asking). I took it

and said that we don't eat dead animals and it had

dead animal parts in it, but that I would trade him

for 10 jellie bellies. He happily accepted, and the

marshmallow found its grave in my garbage can.

 

As far as family, I have the same problem and was

hoping to find some tips in this group. For now, I

just keep telling my son why we don't eat dead animals

-- they are treated horribly when they are alive, they

die brutal and painful deaths, they have family that

they are torn away from, its bad for our bodies,

etcetera. I always then go into that everyone has to

make their own choices and some people are unaware of

these things and its not our place to tell them, or

they may decide that its worth it to eat it anyway.

Everyone makes their own choices and we don't think or

talk badly about them for it. We should just focus on

keeping our own body healthy and doing what we feel is

right in our own hearts. That's what I tell him in

order to not make our family and friends wrong for

their own choices.

When I was married, my ex was a big meat-eater and I

just tried to provide vegetarian alternatives (in the

freezer dept. of health store), but I know how

difficult that situation is.

This is our first holiday season as vegans and I am

very nervous about our traditional relative-visits.

We usually have Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's --

probably nothing will be served vegan or even

vegetarian! Christmas dinner is at my grandmother's

--same situation. I could bring some dishes, but my

relatives seem very angry and hurt when I won't feed

my children their food. They really take it

personally, no matter what I say or how kind I try to

be about it. Anyone have any helpful comments or

suggestions with this? I have even thought about not

going, and just visiting at another time, but all of

my family will be together in one place and I hate to

miss that!

 

Warmest Wishes,

Tanya (mommy to Justin -6, and Kailey -2)

 

 

 

NEW from GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just $8.95/month.

http://geocities./ps/info1

[Guest guest]

Tanya,

 

How has your son ( & his friends) handled it when you first explained the

details about why we don't eat animals? My dau is almost 3 and I need to

start giving some basic explanations, but am worried about it really

frightening her. I don't think she needs all the gorey details just yet, but

I don't know how else to begin explaining this to her.

 

Thanks,

Bonnie

-

" Tanya " <telnjml

 

Monday, October 08, 2001 4:31 PM

Debbie & keeping kids veg under pressure

 

 

>

> Debbie,

>

> I read your post about your 4 1/2 daughter and your

> trouble. One thing I do that might help you is offer

> yummy substitutes for things my son may want. Its

> usually not healthy, but its much better than the

> alternatives he may want. For example, I have a

> " vegan stash " in a cabinet. It has vegan " oreo " -type

> cookies, Lindt chocolate bars which are vegan, and

> jelly bellies of assorted flavors -- which are vegan?

> --had no gelatin in ingredient list, just beeswax.

> Yesterday, after playing outside with his friends he

> brought home a marshmallow his friend had given him

> and asked if he could eat it (much training in not

> eating things from friends without asking). I took it

> and said that we don't eat dead animals and it had

> dead animal parts in it, but that I would trade him

> for 10 jellie bellies. He happily accepted, and the

> marshmallow found its grave in my garbage can.

>

> As far as family, I have the same problem and was

> hoping to find some tips in this group. For now, I

> just keep telling my son why we don't eat dead animals

> -- they are treated horribly when they are alive, they

> die brutal and painful deaths, they have family that

> they are torn away from, its bad for our bodies,

> etcetera. I always then go into that everyone has to

> make their own choices and some people are unaware of

> these things and its not our place to tell them, or

> they may decide that its worth it to eat it anyway.

> Everyone makes their own choices and we don't think or

> talk badly about them for it. We should just focus on

> keeping our own body healthy and doing what we feel is

> right in our own hearts. That's what I tell him in

> order to not make our family and friends wrong for

> their own choices.

> When I was married, my ex was a big meat-eater and I

> just tried to provide vegetarian alternatives (in the

> freezer dept. of health store), but I know how

> difficult that situation is.

> This is our first holiday season as vegans and I am

> very nervous about our traditional relative-visits.

> We usually have Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's --

> probably nothing will be served vegan or even

> vegetarian! Christmas dinner is at my grandmother's

> --same situation. I could bring some dishes, but my

> relatives seem very angry and hurt when I won't feed

> my children their food. They really take it

> personally, no matter what I say or how kind I try to

> be about it. Anyone have any helpful comments or

> suggestions with this? I have even thought about not

> going, and just visiting at another time, but all of

> my family will be together in one place and I hate to

> miss that!

>

> Warmest Wishes,

> Tanya (mommy to Justin -6, and Kailey -2)

>

>

>

> NEW from GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just

$8.95/month.

> http://geocities./ps/info1

>

>

> For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Bonnie,

I have a 18 month old Dd and haven't had to explain anything yet but when

she starts to ask we are going to tell her that; " that comes from animals,

animals are our friends and we don't eat our friends " .

~*~Mitzi

Mommy to Haley 3/00

[Guest guest]

<Lindt chocolate bars which are vegan>

 

wow, that sounds cool, where do you find them?

 

I am also starting to wonder what I'll tell my daughter when she starts asking,

she eats mostly vegan except for yogurt, which she's very fond of. My husband is

a meat eater but he's pretty supportive since his mom used to cook vegetarian

for him when he was small (not sure what went wrong afterwards).

 

As for the relatives taking it personally, I don't have much of a suggestion, I

personally think that it's rude on their part not to offer any alternatives and

then behave like you should eat their food. It's a lack of respect. My parents

don't really agree with my decision to give up meat, but they both went out of

their way to find alternatives for Sarah and myself when I was there visiting

this summer. My mom was a pain in the butt sometimes, and I told her that she

was, but she never came to offering only one kind of food.

 

How about talking it over beforehand? Be honest, tell them that you really don't

want to miss the holiday meals with them because it's such a great chance to

spend time together and enjoy some family time, but that since the main dishes

are animal-based, you would like to bring some vegan alternatives or maybe bring

the ingredients and cook them together at their place. Tell them things like

" I'd be fun to cook together " and " I found some great vegan recipes, really

yummy, you could never tell the difference " or something that can bring your

reality closer to theirs. You can make something that everyone can eat, like

focaccia, and then someone just for you and your son. I have 2 great vegan books

inspired to Mediterranean cooking, maybe I can look something up for you there.

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Tanya

What I have always done in the past is to eat around the meat. Carrots

(beware the butter), mashed potato( " milk), peas, salad,etc. I am never

full at the end of the meal so I treat myself to something I enjoy when I

get home. It isn't a great solution but I tell myself that it is only once

or twice a year and that I'm going for the company not the food. Now that

my son is 18 mos I am worried as to how it will work. One thing you could

do is host yourself though I know that that privilege is reserved for the

elders in my family. You could also go for gift opening and leave early or

suggest a brunch where it might be easier to include more veg, less

traditional food. These are solutions I use with my in-laws. With my own

parents I simply remind my mom to make my stuffing outside the bird, take

out my portion of the potatoes before she adds butter, etc. I also found a

ton of veg cookie recipes online and gave them to my mom so she could bake

for my son. ( I tried to choose recipes with ingredients my mom would be

familiar with.) She was happy with this. I think that some of the

resistance/resentment comes from feeling left out. If you give them a way

to get involved without chaning too much themselves (my parents will never

embrace tofu) it helps. My mom brags that she makes the best veg cabbage

rolls around. Good luck! Madeline

 

>Tanya <telnjml

>

>

> Debbie & keeping kids veg under pressure

>Mon, 8 Oct 2001 13:31:46 -0700 (PDT)

>

>

>Debbie,

>

> I read your post about your 4 1/2 daughter and your

>trouble. One thing I do that might help you is offer

>yummy substitutes for things my son may want. Its

>usually not healthy, but its much better than the

>alternatives he may want. For example, I have a

> " vegan stash " in a cabinet. It has vegan " oreo " -type

>cookies, Lindt chocolate bars which are vegan, and

>jelly bellies of assorted flavors -- which are vegan?

>--had no gelatin in ingredient list, just beeswax.

>Yesterday, after playing outside with his friends he

>brought home a marshmallow his friend had given him

>and asked if he could eat it (much training in not

>eating things from friends without asking). I took it

>and said that we don't eat dead animals and it had

>dead animal parts in it, but that I would trade him

>for 10 jellie bellies. He happily accepted, and the

>marshmallow found its grave in my garbage can.

>

> As far as family, I have the same problem and was

>hoping to find some tips in this group. For now, I

>just keep telling my son why we don't eat dead animals

>-- they are treated horribly when they are alive, they

>die brutal and painful deaths, they have family that

>they are torn away from, its bad for our bodies,

>etcetera. I always then go into that everyone has to

>make their own choices and some people are unaware of

>these things and its not our place to tell them, or

>they may decide that its worth it to eat it anyway.

>Everyone makes their own choices and we don't think or

>talk badly about them for it. We should just focus on

>keeping our own body healthy and doing what we feel is

>right in our own hearts. That's what I tell him in

>order to not make our family and friends wrong for

>their own choices.

> When I was married, my ex was a big meat-eater and I

>just tried to provide vegetarian alternatives (in the

>freezer dept. of health store), but I know how

>difficult that situation is.

> This is our first holiday season as vegans and I am

>very nervous about our traditional relative-visits.

>We usually have Thanksgiving dinner at my mom's --

>probably nothing will be served vegan or even

>vegetarian! Christmas dinner is at my grandmother's

>--same situation. I could bring some dishes, but my

>relatives seem very angry and hurt when I won't feed

>my children their food. They really take it

>personally, no matter what I say or how kind I try to

>be about it. Anyone have any helpful comments or

>suggestions with this? I have even thought about not

>going, and just visiting at another time, but all of

>my family will be together in one place and I hate to

>miss that!

>

>Warmest Wishes,

>Tanya (mommy to Justin -6, and Kailey -2)

>

>

>

>NEW from GeoCities - quick and easy web site hosting, just

>$8.95/month.

>http://geocities./ps/info1

>

 

 

_______________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

[Guest guest]

I'm holding a baby so typing 1 handed, but wanted to say that we might have

a solution to any interest mt dd might have. We're living w the inlaws who

hunt & will hang & slaughter the deer on the property. I'm hoping she

doesn't see... but don't hold up much hope. It's near the house. *sigh*

Maybe she won't understand... she's only 3.

 

Sandra

[Guest guest]

I have a yummy mashed potato recipe that doesn't use any milk, but it's creamy

and delicious. If you are interested I can look it up on my Fit for Life cooking

book and summarize it for you. When I made it at home my husband couldn't taste

the difference and he was wondering how come I was eating mashed potatoes... LOL

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Has she tried soy yoghurt?

 

-Sandra

[Guest guest]

My mother in law, also, has found that it's pretty easy to make all the

sides vegetarian, and we just skip the meat. Of course, she always feels

compelled to ask what we'll eat " for protein " . *sigh* I've tried to talk

to her about it, but it goes in one ear and out the other!!! And now we

have a piscoveg nephew, that's nice! We're not the only ones passing on the

critter!

 

Sandra

[Guest guest]

Why don't you suggest that this year, to take the pressure off your mom and

grandmother, everyone bring something for dinner as a pot luck. That way you

can bring a couple of vegan dishes that you and your kids can eat and share

with the others.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

i would LOVE to have you vegan mashed potato recipe. also has anyone had a vegan

wedding reception? would love to hear what you served. thanks. jeannie

[Guest guest]

Yes, but she doesn't like it as much. I found only one decent soy yogurt here,

and it's pretty expensive, too. Unfortunately here the alternatives are sort of

limited...

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I'm right there with you. My mom asked my if I was not getting any protein at

every meal while I was there visiting!

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 10/12/2001 6:19:12 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

bojean7 writes:

 

 

> i would LOVE to have you vegan mashed potato recipe. also has anyone had a

> vegan wedding reception? would love to hear what you served. thanks. jeannie

>

 

I had a vegan wedding reception!! We did all of our own food. It was a

lunch reception and we served mostaccoli with pasta sauce and smart crumbles,

a vegan type stroganoff, salad and a couple of different vegan pasta salads.

We had a vegan wedding cake, my brother in law is a cake decorator and he

made our cake special for us. We heard some grumbles from our families, but

we didn't care, it was our day!

 

Sara

Colin's Ap Mama

A baby will only spoil if you leave it on the shelf.

Come see us at <A

HREF= " http://www.sos.state.mi.us/election/elecadmin/2000web/index.html " > </A>h<A

HREF= " http://members.tripod.com/colinsapmama/ " >ttp://members.tripod.com/colinsap\

mama/</A>