Constant Harassing

[Guest guest]

Forgive me, I need to vent some frustration. I have

been getting harassed for being a vegetarian and also

for raising my child a vegetarian. I constantly get

bombarded with the usual questions like, " what will

you do when he goes to a birthday party? " or " he's

going to get picked on in school " or " what if when he

gets older he wants to eat meat? " I am so very tired

of these questions. I have asked the offenders to

stop, but they persist. I have explained my choice

and even went as far as to ask them why they are

concerned with something that does not affect them. I

realize it's ignorance on their part, but nonetheless

it's extremely frustrating. If I could just have one

answer that would shut them up for good, it would put

a smile on my face.

 

And if there is anything I will teach my son, it is

tolerance for others no matter what they eat, what

they believe, the color of their skin, etc.

 

Thanks for listening!

 

 

 

Make a great connection at Personals.

http://personals.

[Guest guest]

I am sorry to hear about your contant harassing. My family knows better now,

I have researched so much into vegetarianism that whenever anyone even tries

to question it, I spout out about an hour's worth of research and the health

benefits of vegetarianism. I usually make them sorry for even questioning

it. It does keep them quiet though.

 

Sara

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Who are these people to tell you these things? Tell them clearly that they

either stop or you will exclude them from your life until they learn a bit of

respect. Tell them that together with vegetarianism you are teaching your son

respect, something he could certainly not learn from them, though they seem to

think they are so much better then you. People!

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Yeah, it can be really hard. Fortunately, I haven't been on the tail end of

that sort of crap, but I have a suggestion. When people start asking you

questions, refuse to discuss it. If they push, and you can tell they really

are just baiting you, walk away. The first vegan I ever met was like that

and he said it saved him a LOT of grief.

 

Sandra

[Guest guest]

Karen, I have the same problem. My inlaws are the ones mostly who don't " get

it " . I also have some parents that I believe are just plain ignorant on the

whole food thing and they just can't understand how my girls get enough protein.

To make it even harder we are vegans so that blows most people away because

there's no milk or eggs in our lives. Anyway, to try to answer your question, I

try to give people a whole slew of information when they question the protein or

calcium deal. That way it may open their eyes to something they didn't even know

about. And your right it's non of their concern what you and your son eat, I

think most people are curious because we as veg. are a minority. When my girls

go to a party I find out what's going to be served then I send a vegan dish of

whatever it is. Toffutti ice cream, our own cookies, brownies, cake, whatever.

Most kids don't even notice the difference. My kids don't feel left out or

anything because some of their friends are allergic to chocolate, nuts, milk,

red dye and other things. The are usually compensated by their own moms with

what they're allowed to eat. He may get picked on in school but my 6 year old

has been taking her lunch for 2 years and she won't put up with kids bugging her

anymore about her lunch then they do about her hair or anything else. He isn't

going to be singled out at school because of food. I just pack carrot sticks

with hummus, apples, soynut butter on toast, juice boxes, vegan pretzels,

popcorn and chips. It is frustrating but you have to believe what your doing is

right for you and your family. I have a problem with people who do eat animal

products but I don't badger them like some do to me about no milk etc. If mine

get older and heaven forbid they do choose meat, I know I have instilled the

love of animals in them and just pray that through their lives they realize the

importance of it and choose to stay vegan. I know I didn't give you one direct

answer for harassing people other then to question them about why they feel they

need to eat meat. I bet they don't have one good answer for that either.

 

Hope I helped,

Larissa

 

-

Karen Butler

Friday, November 02, 2001 8:20 AM

 

Constant Harassing

 

Forgive me, I need to vent some frustration. I have

been getting harassed for being a vegetarian and also

for raising my child a vegetarian. I constantly get

bombarded with the usual questions like, " what will

you do when he goes to a birthday party? " or " he's

going to get picked on in school " or " what if when he

gets older he wants to eat meat? " I am so very tired

of these questions. I have asked the offenders to

stop, but they persist. I have explained my choice

and even went as far as to ask them why they are

concerned with something that does not affect them. I

realize it's ignorance on their part, but nonetheless

it's extremely frustrating. If I could just have one

answer that would shut them up for good, it would put

a smile on my face.

 

And if there is anything I will teach my son, it is

tolerance for others no matter what they eat, what

they believe, the color of their skin, etc.

 

Thanks for listening!

 

 

 

Make a great connection at Personals.

http://personals.

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am very sorry and I agree, that is just plain ignorance to ask repetitive

questions about someone else's choice. My advice would be to ask stupid

questions about why they eat meat. And let them know your son will be

intelligent enough to understand that not eating meat is to his benefit. Good

luck!

 

 

 

Find a job, post your resume.

http://careers.

[Guest guest]

Ignorant concern. It's nice to hear we are not the only ones going through

it. My in-laws finally laid off when I said a tired-sounding " Can't we all

just get along!? " I ended up repeating it a time or two throughout the day

(I can't remember now which holiday it was), but I haven't heard a negative

comment since.

 

Or you could try the slightly edgy " I just hope he doesn't grow up to harass

others just because they are different. "

 

-

" Karen Butler " <kbutlerjr

 

Thursday, November 01, 2001 4:59 PM

Constant Harassing

 

 

> Forgive me, I need to vent some frustration. I have

> been getting harassed for being a vegetarian and also

> for raising my child a vegetarian. I constantly get

> bombarded with the usual questions like, " what will

> you do when he goes to a birthday party? " or " he's

> going to get picked on in school " or " what if when he

> gets older he wants to eat meat? " I am so very tired

> of these questions. I have asked the offenders to

> stop, but they persist. I have explained my choice

> and even went as far as to ask them why they are

> concerned with something that does not affect them. I

> realize it's ignorance on their part, but nonetheless

> it's extremely frustrating. If I could just have one

> answer that would shut them up for good, it would put

> a smile on my face.

>

> And if there is anything I will teach my son, it is

> tolerance for others no matter what they eat, what

> they believe, the color of their skin, etc.

>

> Thanks for listening!

>

>

>

> Make a great connection at Personals.

> http://personals.

>

>

>

> For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Karen,

 

I'm afraid that the only personal experience I can

offer is criticism by my own family and friends

concerning my own diet, for I don't yet have children.

(The reason I d to this list is that I hope

to learn as much as possible about how to deal with

such offending people before the time comes.)

 

But for what it's worth, if these people are willing

to listen patiently, they might learn something. As

for my own family, once they saw that I didn't keel

over for lack of meat after several years (and in many

cases their own health deteriorated) several of them

asked me about the health benefits of my vegetarian

(now vegan) diet. I plan to explain to them that, in

addition to the ethical and ecological reasons to

avoid animal products, when I have children, I want to

get them off to the healthiest start possible I have

begun to build an arsenal of nutrition and medical

research articles concerning the benefit of the vegan

diet. (A wonderful informative article was recently

published in the June 2001 issue of Journal of the

American Dietetic Association. This is a generally

known and respected, historically conservative

association, so may be taken seriously by doubters.) I

also loan out copies of Mad Cowboy and Diet for a New

America, for those that seem like they might at least

read the first page--very few of them, in fact!)

 

For those that refuse to let well enough alone--they

are meddlesome and rude, and best left alone, if you

can possibly avoid them. It's unlikely that their

opinions will change, so I tend to avoid related

subjects if I need to interact with them. I suppose

I'm lucky in that I haven't actually been harassed by

anyone, but I'm worried that that may change when I

have a baby on the way, which for some wierd reason,

seems to make people think that they can suddenly

meddle in your life and tell you what to do. (sigh) I

am extremely interested in hearing what others have to

say on the subject. I'm actually a little scared.

 

Best wishes,

 

Barbara C

 

 

 

--- Karen Butler <kbutlerjr wrote: >

Forgive me, I need to vent some frustration. I have

> been getting harassed for being a vegetarian and

> also

> for raising my child a vegetarian. I constantly get

> bombarded with the usual questions like, " what will

> you do when he goes to a birthday party? " or " he's

> going to get picked on in school " or " what if when

> he

> gets older he wants to eat meat? " I am so very

> tired

> of these questions. I have asked the offenders to

> stop, but they persist. I have explained my choice

> and even went as far as to ask them why they are

> concerned with something that does not affect them.

> I

> realize it's ignorance on their part, but

> nonetheless

> it's extremely frustrating. If I could just have

> one

> answer that would shut them up for good, it would

> put

> a smile on my face.

>

> And if there is anything I will teach my son, it is

> tolerance for others no matter what they eat, what

> they believe, the color of their skin, etc.

>

> Thanks for listening!

>

>

>

> Make a great connection at Personals.

> http://personals.

>

>

 

__________

Nokia Game is on again.

Go to http://uk./nokiagame/ and join the new

all media adventure before November 3rd.

[Guest guest]

Karen, is this family or strangers that bother you about this? So far my family

has never bothered me about my vegetarian diet or that I feed my kids that way.

My 3rd baby is my first vegetarian from birth though so I might get a little

more questioning when I don't start him on meat.

 

I have already run into teachers thinking that I was forgetting to send money

for the milk program at my kids' school.

 

Jacqueline

-

Karen Butler

Thursday, November 01, 2001 5:59 PM

Constant Harassing

 

 

Forgive me, I need to vent some frustration. I have

been getting harassed for being a vegetarian and also

for raising my child a vegetarian. I constantly get

bombarded with the usual questions like, " what will

you do when he goes to a birthday party? " or " he's

going to get picked on in school " or " what if when he

gets older he wants to eat meat? " I am so very tired

of these questions. I have asked the offenders to

stop, but they persist. I have explained my choice

and even went as far as to ask them why they are

concerned with something that does not affect them. I

realize it's ignorance on their part, but nonetheless

it's extremely frustrating. If I could just have one

answer that would shut them up for good, it would put

a smile on my face.

 

And if there is anything I will teach my son, it is

tolerance for others no matter what they eat, what

they believe, the color of their skin, etc.

 

Thanks for listening!

 

Make a great connection at Personals.

http://personals.

 

 

[Guest guest]

Sometimes you need to go on the offensive, be a little bit more aggressive,

if you want people to mind their own business. Make it clear to them that

you understand that they are concerned (even if they're not) but that their

concern is based on a lack of education and understanding of basic nutrition.

Then back it up with some facts.

 

As far as " what will you do when he goes to a birthday party " , suggest that

you were planned on going shopping while he was at the party. If they don't

get the hint tell them that from your observations young kids are much more

tolerant of different beliefs and opinions than he/she is so you are sure it

won't be a problem.

 

All kids get picked on for something at some time in school, we all learned

to deal. My eighteen year old daughter was never picked on about

vegetarianism in school, my son has been a little bit though, but then he

lets himself gets picked on in general more that my daughter ever did.

 

My favorite is the " but you're killing the plants " people I once told someone

" the plants have nervous systems that allow them to react to their

environment, but no conscious awareness of thier existence. I know this

because they have no brains, and if you insist on continuing this silly

argument I'll have to assume the same is true of you "

 

I still work with the person I said that to and two years later he's never

tried to pick on me about vegetarianism again.

 

Phil Welsher

[Guest guest]

Thanks for all the great advice and support. Phil, as

usual, you have great words of wisdom! I'm very glad

I belong to this group. It's nice to know there are

people out there who can empathize with me and also

support me.

 

Thank you!

 

Karen

 

 

 

Find a job, post your resume.

http://careers.

[Guest guest]

Can you please point me to the info on protein and calcium you use? I'm not

looking for a gigantic amount of info, just something short I can send to

the ignorant people who badger me about the same thing.

 

Thanks,

Lori

 

Message: 7

Fri, 2 Nov 2001 09:57:37 -0500

" Larissa Murphy " <larissamurphy

Re: Constant Harassing

 

< I try to give people a whole slew of information when they question the

protein or calcium deal.>

 

Hope I helped,

Larissa

[Guest guest]

Personally I use Fit for Life as my reference on protein and calcium as it's

easy to understand also for people who never read health books.

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Also, any standard nutrition textbook address vegan

diets. Check at your public library.(A good one is

Perspectives in Nutrition.) I haven't come across one

published in recent years that has not stated that a

vegan diet can be perfectly adequate (even desirable

in many respects.) Stubborn people might be inclined

to dismiss what they *perceive* to be radical

vegetarian publications.

 

Barbara C

 

--- ~*~*Elisa*~*~ <elisa.bieg wrote:

> Personally I use Fit for Life as my reference on

> protein and calcium as it's easy to understand also

> for people who never read health books.

>

> Hugs,

>

> " My darling girl, when are you going to understand

> that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

> It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

>

> Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

 

 

 

Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and

Music Charts

http://uk.my.

[Guest guest]

<Stubborn people might be inclined

to dismiss what they *perceive* to be radical

vegetarian publications.>

 

I agree, that's why I said Fit for Life and not Ann Wigmore. Fit for life is far

from being a radical vegetarian book.

 

Hugs,

 

" My darling girl, when are you going to understand

that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

 

Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Barbara C wrote:

 

<<I suppose I'm lucky in that I haven't actually been harassed by

anyone, but I'm worried that that may change when I have a baby on the

way, which for some wierd reason, seems to make people think that they

can suddenly meddle in your life and tell you what to do. (sigh) I am

extremely interested in hearing what others have to say on the subject.

I'm actually a little scared.>>

 

Yes, that's exactly what happens. " It's your business what you do to

yourself, because you're an adult, but it's

unfair/dangerous/abusive/wrong to inflict your personal lifestyle

choices (never beliefs, notice, but something selfish like a " lifestyle

choice " ) on an innocent child. " Haven't we all heard that one? <g>

 

Time really does solve a lot of problems. It helps when your

family/friends can see that your vegetarian child is at least as healthy

(if not healthier) than their children. I've used the argument that our

highly-respected pediatrician has had to grudgingly acknowledge that my

daughter is completely healthy " despite " the vegetarian diet. Her

opinion carries more weight, because she's a professional and a

carnivore.

 

The best advice I can give is to surround yourself as much as possible

with positive people. Even if they aren't vegetarian themselves, if

they respect you and your beliefs, and support you, your inner circle of

friends will be a much-needed buffer against the nasty and ignorant

comments that come your way.

 

Liz

[Guest guest]

People don't need as much protein as they think they do and your body absorbs

the protein in tofu and some other soy products better then the protein from

animal products. Same with calcium in milk, it's not absorbed very well but the

calcium in broccoli and other leafy veggies is better absorbed in our bodies.

Also a lot of newer veg. cookbook have examples of amounts of protein and

calcium etc. in different foods. Also food labels show higher % of vitamins like

soymilk. I also always say, Well, my girls have never been on an antibiotic and

have never had anything more than a cold or cough so it seems they are surviving

just fine on this kind of food. " Most people have no comment on that.

Larissa

-

Lori Lugar

Wednesday, November 07, 2001 9:26 AM

' '

Re: Constant Harassing

 

Can you please point me to the info on protein and calcium you use? I'm not

looking for a gigantic amount of info, just something short I can send to

the ignorant people who badger me about the same thing.

 

Thanks,

Lori

 

Message: 7

Fri, 2 Nov 2001 09:57:37 -0500

" Larissa Murphy " <larissamurphy

Re: Constant Harassing

 

< I try to give people a whole slew of information when they question the

protein or calcium deal.>

 

Hope I helped,

Larissa

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I guess I should have said " assume " instead of

" perceive. " Depends upon the person you're talking to,

and how long they'll pay attention. Some people don't

have the patience to get past assumptions...

 

Barbara C

 

--- ~*~*Elisa*~*~ <elisa.bieg wrote:

> <Stubborn people might be inclined

> to dismiss what they *perceive* to be radical

> vegetarian publications.>

>

> I agree, that's why I said Fit for Life and not Ann

> Wigmore. Fit for life is far from being a radical

> vegetarian book.

>

> Hugs,

>

> " My darling girl, when are you going to understand

> that being normal isn't necessarily a virtue.

> It rather denotes a lack of courage! "

>

> Aunt Frances in Practical Magic

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

 

 

 

Everything you'll ever need on one web page from News and Sport to Email and

Music Charts

http://uk.my.

[Guest guest]

I think that in general meat-eaters are ignorant about the amount of protein

available from non-meat sources. After all, we're raised to believe that

protein=meat.

 

I say that as one who still consumes meat, but has done research and joined

this group to learn more so that I could support my 14 year old daughter in

her choice to be a vegetarian. I've been surprised at all that I've learned.

And my teen is always willing to educate me.

 

When people question why we allow her to be vegetarian, I merely point out

that both she and I have done a lot of research on the matter and leave it

at that. Besides, she's always willing to debate. She looks upon it as

Veggie Evangelism.

 

Sue Lang

 

 

-

" Larissa Murphy " <larissamurphy

 

Saturday, November 10, 2001 1:52 PM

Re: Re: Constant Harassing

 

 

> People don't need as much protein as they think they do and your body

absorbs the protein in tofu and some other soy products better then the

protein from animal products. Same with calcium in milk, it's not absorbed

very well but the calcium in broccoli and other leafy veggies is better

absorbed in our bodies. Also a lot of newer veg. cookbook have examples of

amounts of protein and calcium etc. in different foods. Also food labels

show higher % of vitamins like soymilk. I also always say, Well, my girls

have never been on an antibiotic and have never had anything more than a

cold or cough so it seems they are surviving just fine on this kind of

food. " Most people have no comment on that.

> Larissa

[Guest guest]

(Reed Mangels, our nutritional advisor, asked me to forward the following to the

list.)

 

It's wonderful that you can show people how healthy your children are!

I did want to clear up something that might be a bit confusing to some

people. Certainly our culture does emphasize protein and many people

think that they need lots more than they need. However, protein from

most animal products is as well digested and absorbed as is protein

from most soy products. I don't think we can say that soy is better

absorbed than animal protein although there are certainly lots of

reasons to use soy instead of animal protein. The calcium in cow's

milk is well absorbed, about 32% of it is absorbed which is pretty

good for a calcium-containing food. A higher percentage of calcium is

absorbed from vegetables, around 53% for broccoli and 58% for calcium.

Apparently around 24% of the calcium from calcium-fortified soymilk

is absorbed - not a reason to avoid calcium-fortified soymilk but just

something to be aware of. If you're looking for information on

calcium and protein to share with others, you might want to visit

VRG's website at www.vrg.org.

 

Best,

 

Reed Mangels, PhD, RD

Nutrition Advisor, VRG

(and mom to 2 healthy veg children)

 

 

Message: 11

Sat, 10 Nov 2001 13:52:32 -0500

" Larissa Murphy " <larissamurphy

Re: Re: Constant Harassing

 

People don't need as much protein as they think they do and your body

absorbs the protein in tofu and some other soy products better then

the protein from animal products. Same with calcium in milk, it's not

absorbed very well but the calcium in broccoli and other leafy veggies

is better absorbed in our bodies. Also a lot of newer veg. cookbook

have examples of amounts of protein and calcium etc. in different

foods. Also food labels show higher % of vitamins like soymilk. I also

always say, Well, my girls have never been on an antibiotic and have

never had anything more than a cold or cough so it seems they are

surviving just fine on this kind of food. " Most people have no comment

on that.

Larissa

[Guest guest]

I think I might have said this before, but I can't remember:) When

people harass me about raising my child veg, I compare it to smoking.

I don't smoke, because I'm aware of the health ramifications of

smoking and it basically grosses me out. As a mom to a 2-year-old, it

is my responsibility to make decisions for her until she is old

enough to make them for herself. I don't let her cross the street by

herself, I don't let her touch the hot stove and I don't give her

cigarettes. As she grows up, I explain to her why I make these

decisions and I understand that there will come a time when she will

have to make these decisions for herself. It's the same thing with

eating meat.

 

It's even easier when people at church question it, because I can

simply point out that I take her to that church instead of to a

synagogue or temple or mosque. At this point she has no say in the

matter -- some day she will. Very few people will suggest that

instead I should allow her to " sample " different religions and decide

for herself at age two which one she wants to follow.

 

Amusing tidbit: My two-year-old has never eaten at McDonald's, but we

pass by them every day and she has decided that the " golden arches "

are bananas!

 

Carol

Mom to Lucia, 25 months

[Guest guest]

> Amusing tidbit: My two-year-old has never eaten at

> McDonald's, but we

> pass by them every day and she has decided that the

> " golden arches "

> are bananas

 

How cute... thanks for sharing!

 

 

 

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