RE: Violent Game -- OT

[Guest guest]

Sherrie -- my parents had always explained their reasons to us and then let

us make decisions regarding clothes, friends, past-times, etc., but then

always let us know how disappointed they were when we went ahead and did

something that they did not approve of -- not just when we made the choice,

but forever after when we wore the clothes or played the game, called the

friend, etc. Needless to say, this led to a very tense, untrusting

relationship. With my own children, they know that if I disapprove of

something, they can a) live with my reasons or b) convince me otherwise;

once I am convinced otherwise, they know that they can be comfortable with

our agreement and I am no longer disapproving (children take this very

personally -- disapproving of their choices very often is felt as

disapproving of them).

 

If you can be comfortable with your son's reasons for buying these games,

let him buy them and don't hold a grudge, otherwise, tell him that in your

house, violent games are not allowed. Smile and tell him you love him. You

can even reverse your previous decision -- tell him that you love him and

have given this a lot of thought: he needs to respect your wishes in your

house. He can play the games with his friends at their houses, etc. He will

most likely get angry, but will (eventually?) respect you for standing firm

to your beliefs.

 

Either way, be comfortable with your son and your choice.

 

Blessings and best wishes,

Karen

 

 

>

> swang [swang]

> Friday, November 30, 2001 8:09 AM

>

> Violent Game

>

>

>

> Hi, Everyone

> My son and I are full vegetarian, my husband is half

> vegetarian. One of the

> reason to keep my son Vegetarian is nonviolent. He is OK to

> not touch the

> meat, but he like to play violent video game so much.

> At the beginning, I tried to not purchase any game system for

> him, anyhow

> we bought Play Station for him because every kids has at

> least one game

> system at the home. Then I try to control the Rates, for example, he

> couldn't buy Teen games before he is 12 years old, but we

> failed to do and

> bought some for him finally due to his many times of

> discussion with me. He

> convinces me nicely. His main reasons are 1. Other parents

> allow the same

> age kids to buy; 2. He wouldn't kill anybody; 3. It doesn't

> effect his

> normal life schedule and homework. 4. Give him enough proof

> of our ideas.

> And I didn't have enough evidences to convince him.

> Now, he is 14 years old and want to buy Mature games, most of them are

> really violent (person shots person). The last way that I keep the

> nonviolent rule for him is visiting some web sites to get the enough

> reasons and proof to stop his bad " Hope " ? playing violent game.

> Could anyone help us in any way for this, please? I am sorry about my

> improper English and thank you so much for you time.

>

> Sherrie

>

>

>

>