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I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant about

this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

 

:Jenna:

 

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Jenna-

 

Point your browser to:

 

http://www.vegsoc.org/youth/packs/school-parents.html

 

There is some good info there on communicating with your parents about your

vegetarianism. I'll keep my eyes open for some other good sources.

 

Good luck!!! Try a search on on " vegetarian teenagers " and I'll bet

you'll find some good sites that will help you to not feel so alone!

 

Carmen in Switzerland

 

A grandfather was talking to his grandson about how he felt. He said: ?I

feel as if I have two wolves fighting in

my heart. One wolf is full of selfishness, anger, and criticism. The other

wolf is full of compassion, kindness,

and love.?

 

The grandson asked, ?Which wolf will win this fight in your heart??

 

The grandfather answered: ?The one that I feed.?

 

--Col. J. Z. Goldstein

 

 

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Jenna,

 

Wow it does sound like you are in a tough situation.

It is really great for us (as parents) to hear your

story because it is easy as parents to force what we

think is best on our children. It is great that you

realize they have your best interest at heart. I

stopped eating mammals when I was 13 (I'm 30 now) and

even that was a little tough on my parents and worried

them a bit. Now my parents eat vegetarian 95% of the

time (no it doesn't have to to take 17 years!). I'll

just tell you what worked for me and what didn't.

 

At first I think my parents were worried about me

being healthy and then they were worried I would want

them to change. The health part made me very

interested in nutrition so I read (and still do)

everything I could get my hands on about nutrition.

(PCRM has a great website for vegetarian health

facts.)

 

As far as wanting my parents to change to a vegetarian

diet...of course I did! :-) But things did not work

out when I was pushing things on them or telling them

how disgusting meat is or how animals are treated,

etc. It especially upset them while they were

eating...I grew to understand this and respect it.

The less I was out to change them and the more I was

at peace with being veg myself the more interested

they were in being veg themselves. I highly recommend

Gail Davis' book 'Living Among Meat Eaters'.

 

I guess all I can say is you are not alone and some of

us have been in similar situations. You can still be

respectful of your parents and make your own choices.

If it is a hard thing for your parents to discuss

maybe you could give them some literature or a book on

vegetarianism that they can read on their own. The

more information you have about the aspects of

vegetarianism that made you change your own eating

habits the more understanding they should be.

 

Good luck and we're here for you. I for one would

really like to hear more from veg teenagers and

children. I helps me a lot as a parent.

 

Linda

 

PS Something else that makes it tough for a non-veg

parent of a vegetarian is cooking. They may not know

what to cook for you and that is a little frustrating

and scary. Find some veg cookbooks at your library

and bring them home and help out with the cooking.

I've found even the most adamant meat-eaters melt over

a fun cooking session together.

 

--- " Jenna L. " <marilyn_moo wrote:

> I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also

> the only one in my

> family. It's pretty hard, because the only other

> vegetarian I know is my

> friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep

> pressuring me to eat

> meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but

> I am very adamant about

> this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell

> them?

>

> :Jenna:

>

>

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> Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device:

> http://mobile.msn.com

>

>

>

 

 

 

 

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On Sat, 19 Jan 2002, Jenna L. wrote:

 

> I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

> family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

> friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

> meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant about

> this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

 

I'm 28 now, but I was 14 when I first became a vegetarian, so I know more

or less what you're going through. My father was baffled but accepting

about my vegetarianism. My mother, on the other hand, took it as some

sort of personal challenge. She really thought I was doing it just to

make her life difficult. I think she still thinks it's some sort of

judgement about her character, like I think I'm better than her, but she

doesn't give me grief about it anymore (most of the time). I suggest

explaining to your parents why you have made this decision, but don't try

to convert them - they are likely to get much more defensive if you do.

Also, offer to cook for the family sometimes. My mother refused to cook

" special " food for my after I became a vegetarian, but she was a bit

mollified when I offered to cook dinner (vegetarian, of course) not just

for myself but for the whole family once a week. If your parents express

concern about vegetarian nutrition, I would suggest printing out some of

the information from the VRG website <www.vrg.org>. Eventually, if you

are consistent and persistant in following a vegetarian diet, your parents

will realize that it really is something that's genuinely important to

you, not something you're doing just to be trendy. Get informed, stay

calm when discussing things with your family, and stick to your guns --

that's the best advice I can give.

 

----

Patricia Bullington-McGuire <patricia

 

The brilliant Cerebron, attacking the problem analytically, discovered

three distinct kinds of dragon: the mythical, the chimerical, and the

purely hypothetical. They were all, one might say, nonexistent, but each

nonexisted in an entirely different way ...

-- Stanislaw Lem, " Cyberiad "

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Jenna,

Good for you! I am 29 years old - I first went veg when I was 12, and I

gave in to my mother's pressures to go back to meat-eating. Then I went veg

again at 16, and only then did I have the strength to stick with it despite

my parents. By age 22 or so, I went vegan, and I've been vegan ever since,

and it's been wonderful. After a few years, my parents finally understood I

wasn't going through a " phase " and they came to at least respect my

decision.

I think the best thing for you to do is to become well educated about veg

nutrition, and the reasons why you are veg. If they are for ethics or the

environment, then tell your parents why meat eating is so wrong, when they

bug you about it. And since your parents might not know much about the

health benefits of being veg, know something about that as well. I would

recommend several websites, if you have web access. VeganOutreach is a good

one, as is VegSource. PETA also has some great veg sites. You might also

want to pick up a couple books on vegism, like The Food Revolution by John

Robbins, or Vegan, by Erik Marcus, or The Vegetarian Way by Messina, or Mad

Cowboy by Howard Lyman. These are all excellent. There are also now

several books and cookbooks geared toward teens, which I'm sure you could

find on-line.

The Vegetarian Resource Group also has excellent literature geared towards

helping kids get their parents to understand why vegism is healthy and

necessary. Let me know if you can't find any of the things above you're

interested in. I hope that helps, and definitely stick with it - you're

doing the right thing.

Leena

 

 

Jenna L. [marilyn_moo]

Saturday, January 19, 2002 3:29 AM

 

feeling alone

 

 

I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant about

this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

 

:Jenna:

 

_______________

Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

 

 

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This is a tough situation. I think the best thing you can do is to find

lots of information for them about vegetarianism and especially it's health

benefits. Eg: eating lots of vegetables and less meat can lower your

cholesterol and help prevent heart disease and cancer for example.

 

The internet and Vegetarian magazines like the Vegetarian Times are great

places to start. Look for reputable studies that show documented evidence.

If I have time I'll look some up and send some to you or maybe other people

know of some?

 

I'm sure this could be very difficult for you. I wanted to become a

vegetarian at age 12 but was forced to eat meat because of family pressure.

At age 18 I finally became a vegetarian and even then faced lots of family

resistance. My mom continued to try to feed me meat. For my 19th birthday

she cooked a meat lasagne! I'm now almost 30 and still vegetarian and

although the family resistance continues it has lessened a lot. Since my

Grandfather had several heart attacks my Grandmother even d to the

Vegetarian Times to get some ideas about how to cook different vegetables.

 

One thing you should be careful to watch is that you eat a variety of

healthy foods. If you just eliminate meat from a traditional " meat &

potatoes " diet...all you're left with is potatoes and nutrient poor foods

like ice burg lettuce. I became anemic at first because I didn't start

eating foods like lentils, dark green leafy vegetables, beans, tofu, and

dried fruits. (All these foods are rich in iron which is really important

for a growing body.) This can be even harder for you because you may not be

involved in the cooking of the family meals.

 

So, good luck. Do lots of research and maybe you can even help your whole

family to improve their diet in the process!

 

Melanie.

 

 

 

>

> Jenna L. [marilyn_moo]

> Saturday, January 19, 2002 12:29 AM

>

> feeling alone

>

>

> I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

> family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

> friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

> meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very

> adamant about

> this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

>

> :Jenna:

>

> _______________

> Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

>

>

>

> For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG

> website at http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful

> for families go to http://www.vrg.org/family.

>

>

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Dear Jenna,

I can sympathize with you, for I became a vegetarian when I was 13,

and although my brother also was vegetarian then, we did not know

other vegetarians, and at this time was very unusual (15 years ago).

It was really hard for my parents to believe in us at the time, but

we directed them as much research as possible to read, and soon after

they both became vegetarian too. Now they both talk to other people

about vegetarianism, and it would have been hard to believe at the

time, for my Dad was a hard-core meat-eater.

I would suggest that you refer them to the Physicians Committee for

Responsible Medicine website (below), and ask them to read as much as

possible. Also, the more you know, the more they will trust you.

I have been vegan for 13 years, and have a five-year-old vegan

daughter, who is very healthy, yet unusual in a " beef county " in

Ontario. Good luck with being different, for it is a hard road, but

there is much satisfaction in doing what is right for the world,

animals, and your health. Please feel free to contact me directly if

you have more question: vserda, and also if your parents

might be interested in emailing my parents, let me know.

 

http://www.pcrm.org/health/Info_on_Veg_Diets/index.html

 

Sincerely,

Victoria Serda

 

 

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Here are several links with information you can share with your parents

(print out some articles and talk to them about it):

 

http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/teennutrition.htm

http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/adapaper.htm

http://www.ivu.org/youth/

http://www.vegsoc.org/youth/index.html

 

The Vegetarian Resource Group site is a great site (vrg.org) and also the

Physicians For Responsible Medicine site (PCRM.org) - check 'em out and GOOD

LUCK!

 

Lynne in the US

 

 

Jenna L. [marilyn_moo]

Saturday, January 19, 2002 2:29 AM

feeling alone

 

 

I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant

about

this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

 

:Jenna:

 

_______________

Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

 

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Hi Jenna -

 

When I was growing up I thought about going vegetarian, but never did as it did

not seem practical in my parents' house. They thought people who ate that way

were weird. In fact, when I finally did go veg (I was 22 or 23 and lived away

from home), my father said, " Where did you get a crazy idea like that. " It is

not an easy thing to do, so I admire you doing it.

 

Could you collect some research showing how healthy a vegetarian diet is and

present it to your parents? Maybe you could volunteer to help with the cooking

each night to adapt the meal to your diet. Or one night a week you could do the

cooking and make a completely vegetarian meal, and a healthy one at that, to

show your parents that it can be done. How about enlisting the aid of your

doctor to talk with them about the benefits of the diet. Just some ideas.

 

Good luck.

 

Karen

-

Jenna L.

Saturday, January 19, 2002 3:28 AM

feeling alone

 

 

I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant about

this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

 

:Jenna:

 

_______________

Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

 

 

 

For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

 

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When I first became a vegetarian, it was the same way. My parents would

countinuously offer me meat and say, " You don't know what you're

missing, " . Have you tried to explain to them why you won't eat meat? Once I

told them what I was doing, they stopped bothering me about it. It could

also be that they're worried about your health and if your getting enough

nutrients from what you're eating. My doctor was. What I did was I got

serveral vegtarian cookbooks out of the library, and did some research, and

learned how to get nutrients that people usually get from meat from other

foods. I'm still the only vegetarian in my house, but at least my parents

don't bug me about it.

-Mary

-

" Jenna L. " <marilyn_moo

 

Saturday, January 19, 2002 3:28 AM

feeling alone

 

 

> I am a 13-year-old lacto-ovo vegetarian. I am also the only one in my

> family. It's pretty hard, because the only other vegetarian I know is my

> friend, who switched because I did. My parents keep pressuring me to eat

> meat. I realize that they have good intentions, but I am very adamant

about

> this. Can anyone give me suggestions on what to tell them?

>

> :Jenna:

>

> _______________

> Send and receive Hotmail on your mobile device: http://mobile.msn.com

>

>

>

> For more information about vegetarianism, please visit the VRG website at

http://www.vrg.org and for materials especially useful for families go to

http://www.vrg.org/family.

>

>

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Thanks for your help, everyone! My situation is a collage of yours... I went

veg at age 10 for about a year. My parents fully supported this because I

ate fish, so it wasn't as hard, but then I moved and with all of the stress

of the move, it was hard to find veg quick-to-prepare foods at the time.

Last May, however, my interest in vegetarianism resparked and I became

veggie again. However, this time, I stood my ground. I think my parents are

trying to pressure me into eating meat because they think it is " just a

phase. " I think the websites and advice you gave me will certainly help.

I'll keep you updated.

 

:Jenna:

 

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