Guest guest Posted April 2, 2002 Report Share Posted April 2, 2002 Please give me advice. My family is vegan and we do not believe in hunting or fishing, atleast I thought we didn't. My husband has been spending time with his father and I just found out that they have been going fishing. They have gone twice in the last two months. Before my husband and I met he use to fish, but once we met he stopped. I asked him the other day if fish could feel pain and he said yes he thinks they do. Then I said doesn't that bother you and he didn't say anything. This is causing trouble between us. I don't think its okay and I don't want my daughter to think its okay. I have told him that it bothers me, but he doesn't seem to care. What should I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2002 Report Share Posted April 3, 2002 I have found that if I nicely re-explain how it makes me feel and tell him he can make his own decisions regarding his lifestyle but I would prefer it isn't known by my sons and I don't want any talk of it or anything brought into the house..........he has come to terms on his own. He is probably just going through some reminiscent times with his father and will come back to the way it was before if given the time and space to do that. Maybe try to talk to him and figure out why he feels the need to do this and can't be with his dad doing something else. STacy >Please give me advice. My family is vegan and we do not believe in hunting or fishing, atleast I thought we didn't. My husband has been spending time with his father and I just found out that they have been going fishing. They have gone twice in the last two months. Before my husband and I met he use to fish, but once we met he stopped. I asked him the other day if fish could feel pain and he said yes he thinks they do. Then I said doesn't that bother you and he didn't say anything. This is causing trouble between us. I don't think its okay and I don't want my daughter to think its okay. I have told him that it bothers me, but he doesn't seem to care. What should I do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 3, 2002 Report Share Posted April 3, 2002 i don't know about this one... i mean, i don't think fishing is nice but i also feel it should be your husband's choice. maybe he didn't tell you because he knew you would be upset. did he figure in greatly in the decision to *be* vegan? i guess i feel that you should leave that decision up to him. after all, because he is fishing shouldn't have to reflect badly on you. it is hard when loved ones do things we don't want them to, i know. but try to remember that your husband is doing a big part to reduce animal suffering by eating vegan and don't make too big of a deal out of the fishing. just my opinion! heather At 12:11 PM 4/2/2002 -0500, you wrote: >Please give me advice. My family is vegan and we do not believe in >hunting or fishing, atleast I thought we didn't. My husband has been >spending time with his father and I just found out that they have been >going fishing. They have gone twice in the last two months. Before my >husband and I met he use to fish, but once we met he stopped. I asked him >the other day if fish could feel pain and he said yes he thinks they >do. Then I said doesn't that bother you and he didn't say anything. This >is causing trouble between us. I don't think its okay and I don't want my >daughter to think its okay. I have told him that it bothers me, but he >doesn't seem to care. What should I do? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 4, 2002 Report Share Posted April 4, 2002 I will tell you this much, as long as you asked for advice. Your husband knew that you would not approve and that it would probably cause trouble between you before he went fishing. This is why you " found out " instead of him coming to you and telling you what he was really doing honestly upfront. You don't say how long you have been married or whether your husband is also vegan (both inside the house and out). My guess would be that your husband decided that he was in love with you and would marry you inspite of your vegetarian politics/ethics, not because he also embraced them. Regardless of that though, the bigger issue is not whether the fish feel pain, but that the value of honest communication and trust is compromised with in your relationship because he would prefer to hide this from you rather than the two of you dealing with it openly. Forget questioning him about fishing until after you've settled the question of trust and improved communication between you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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