welcome km parrotte!/ Kundalini tea

[Guest guest]

Thank you Kristi for writing of your experience. There are many here who will

benefit from knowing they are not alone in the experience of a full blown K

Awakening. I hope you don't mind a little K in your tea. - blessings and thank

you again. - chrism

 

Kristi Parrotte <parrotte wrote: Hi Chrism,

 

Visiting in here to taste the tea

 

I experienced my first energetics as a young teenager.. many unitive states,

feeling the collective, divine love pouring through me, profound psychic

opening, bi-locations, and a foretaste of experiencing myself as the True Self

watching the mind. Too much psychic confusion came.. so one day found me

praying fervently that it all go away. It did. Five years ago, (nearly twenty

later than those young days), I experienced a powerful and spontaneous awakening

that came like lightning.. a series of split second jolts of lightning that

striked my being for several hours. There was other that preceded it a couple

of weeks before, but it was this that left me howling at the moon and running at

break neck speeds. The next couple of weeks found every chakra opening as I

felt a divine beam of light descend on me. Sitting in meditation I watched all

form in my midst, including myself, change to 3 dimensional holographic patterns

of vibrating energy. The sound of the ocean roared in my

ears. I experienced myself as pure undulating energy where the sense of I

disappeared and I became both the primal nothingness and eternal everythingness

at once. I was in bliss for the first few months.. feeling like a walking

orgasm.. bursts of love emanating from my heart center everywhere I went. But

things got rough as I felt the energy shooting out of my crown like a volcano

while simultaneously ripping through my heart center. There is an old Japanese

curse that says, " May you solve all of your karma in one week. " That is where I

felt I was at.. with lifetimes of profound grief and pain pouring out of me.

The subconscious began unloading at a rapid speed. It was too much, too fast..

and I feared I would go crazy. There is really too much to say, to write. I've

had alot of healing to do (as do we all) but my journey was complicated by

unaddressed issues of a very abusive childhood.. that made my going very

difficult.. coupled with the fact that I was not at all

prepared for the awakening in that I had not studied or sought it out and had

not a foundation of faith or spiritual practice. There was however, all of my

life, a deep and earnest yearning in my heart to know truth. Many months found

my learning to ground and balance and to accept this that had come into my life

while I began working through all the healing. I've had alot of help. These

years later now, I begin to learn to see from a non-dual perspective, accepting

and allowing the perfection of any moment without trying to change or control

what " is. " I begin to welcome the beauty of the energy/the goddess after what

was bliss turned to a nightmare of confusion, having thrown my " personal "

reference points for life and living off of the grid of understanding. This

past New Year brought another powerful influx of energy into my being, leaving

me once again holding on to the trees while simultaneously teaching me to let go

and allow. My mind, has been my biggest hindrance..

engaging too much in thought.. and with this, the lack of grounding. I lived

so much in my mind for so many years that coming back into body has seemed

foreign to me.. there was lots of pain in this body. Earlier on, I struggled

with entities, felt like I battled archetypes, my shadow aspects. Deep dream

work has helped me greatly with these things. Profound empathy was also a

challenge for me, as I was very empathic and compassionate all of my life, such

that I hardly knew a personal me.. and I feel that this too accounts for a big

piece of the healing work that I have done. When my sensistivies grew with such

an openness and awareness during my process, discovering that there really was a

personal me there, I wanted to put up walls to shut the outside world out. I

wanted to retreat. I've worked alot with the basic survival fear we all have in

our humanness/(animal nature). This past year has found my experiencing an ever

increasing death of the small personal self. I

learn to hold this me with much compassion and love as she slips away more and

more. For all the confusion there has been, there has also been profound

beauty. I practice yoga.. I write poetry from time to time.. I learn to abide

in more and more silence/stillness.. I love being in the natural world.. and

perhaps most importantly, I am trying to get anywhere or achieve anything,

anymore.. not trying to have any more " experiences " to talk about .. but am

learning to just " be " .. remembering that we are already whole.

 

Kristi

 

-

Thursday, September 29, 2005 9:51 PM

welcome km parrotte!

 

 

Welcome km parrotte! If you are comfortable please tell us something

about yourself kundalini wise if not be welcome regardless - chrism