Guest guest Posted February 13, 2006 Report Share Posted February 13, 2006 Hi everyone, Sending a discussion as it happened between myself and chrism - hope that it helps in some way for anyone that may go through the process as I have. love Amaargi (Anne) ************************************************* amaargi wrote: Hi chrism, Just wanted to check up with you about the scatterfield and how it works. I'm at a point where I have some doubts where it's coming from and who's doing it, a higher aspect of me, or you?. (snipped - see original post) chris wrote: So I have pulled back the field . How do you feel?- c amaargi wrote: oh heck chris...you made me cry again...lol.. crying with laughter and happiness... since I wrote the email the feelings have continued to get better and better, clarity is better, happiness within and many many other things.. when I read your reply I immediately checked within and around me to sense what or who it was... and it was ME!! ohhh....wow.....soooo beautiful, I just cry with relief, happiness, gratefulness... this is me? so beautiful.....me?...this is why I have trouble believing...some self doubts are still there... it's very strong in K heat and some sort of energy...I mis-typed and spelt 'fry' instead of 'cry'...then my net disconnected and the computer nearly stopped working. A definate sign of K and confirmation for me to know its true... I don't know if you're online now and if we are communicating in real time at this time....I decided to write and reply straight away to describe the feelings as they happen...in case it fades away again later...or my computer stops working completely... Amaargi PS: computer ground to a halt and couldn't get the email off, had to shut down and reboot. Has anyone figured out how to protect our computers and electrical equipment during these times....? --- chris wrote: Do you have instant messenger? - c amaargi wrote: sending this private as I don't want to disturb people on the list... I never know what to post that may help....even though it can be disturbing. Prepare them?...but worry them at the same time? Anyway...the person surfacing is me, but the part that's been supressed and never been allowed out because we always put the false face on for the rest of the world. The experience continued after my last email and I still feel beautiful and happy but also she is my dark side.....angry and slightly insane. I'm ok with it as I've been preparing for it to happen, my guides are all standing by First I felt I gave up on everything, totally nothing, stopped continuing on with life..then that went. Then she was here and all I could think about was how wonderful it was to be free....to make my own decisions, to do thigs how I've always wanted to and not worry about what other people think. She's a child....beautiful...and an adult too... still going through it all and waiting to see what happens.... I'm happy but want to cry because she's been held back, imprisoned.. imprisoned by parental beliefs in how I *should* have behaved, societies rules in acceptable behaviour...to be accepted and loved, but only on their terms... I guess you know all about this and have been through it...any advice? All I do is keep sending lots and lots of love to her...and also telling her that there are rules to follow though...I'm being a parent to her in a loving but firm way.. I'm on messenger: ama_ar_gi it's evening my time now....my earlier emails where in the morning.. I'm hangin' in there! Anne --chris wrote: I think that everyone needs to know about the " other " person within. This person is not a threat them or you, it is an opportunity for cohesiveness. A nchance to meld yourself beyond the polarities, into oneness a definite step in the evolution of the energy within. - --- chris wrote: Hello Dark Anne, You are brillianced by shadow with none to decieve Break through the boundries your threat to achieve No more in hiding you come into view No more opining you savor and move Where goes your brashness and whats that you skew? The open and holy your spit and your chew Ah but what does await you in your solid grace? The balance will bite to the uneven pace. So take you this warning this missive this face That into the brightness your world must yet place Its love and its anger its beauty and lace The balance is turning and into the storm The love will abide thee Her love and her scorn From chrism to the dark side of Anne 02/13/06 > amaargi wrote: Hi chris, > > I sat and read your poem a couple of times and also > sat and tried to sense some sort of energy from > it...and also within me to see what reactions there > where.....but there was nothing. > > Maybe it will be absorbed and some reaction later. > > A part of it all that's surfacing, or coming down to > me appears to be what I would call my 'Higher Self'. > > I call it that from my earlier days of western > spirituality as I recognise it as very mathematical > and scientific...left brain logic?..could be > masculine > part as well. > > I started working on the finances as I described > when > I first felt it the other day...get up and get to > work. But now I can't stop, compulsive behaviour. I > worked from 8.30am to 2am in the morning, stopping > for > 10 mins or so to have something to eat and stand > with > my head under the shower water. (It's 38C deg here > in > our summer) > > Under the shower water like that my heart opened and > I > felt love and relief. Then it was back to work. > > Just going with the flow, at least all the tedious > chores of bookwork, tax forms, cash flow projects > are > getting done. She sure is handy to have > around...heh.. > > I feel detached and am just sitting back and > watching > her do her work...very clever and efficient... > > It's amazing as 'she' calculated formulas for excell > spreadsheets that I've never been able to do. I have > a full set of cashbooks up and running now, easy to > use and self balances as I work... > > Now and again go through a terrible dark side > fear...nasty thoughts....and now and again that > horrible insect, maggot, decay part.. ugh! it's damn > disgusting and creeps all over me. Have been through > it before and just try to get through it with > detachment *shudder* > > Doing the inner smile visualisations, lots of love > and > continuously grounding....grounding....grounding... > > Thanks heaps for your help....just having someone to > talk to that knows whats going on helps > tremendously... > > thank you..thank you..thank you... > > love > Anne > P.S > Was just going to hit the send button when it dawned > on me that this person within is 'the boss' - very > efficient with work and getting my business off the > ground. > > I wondered about it 2am this morning as I had to > make > myself go to bed and stop working. > > I've set up my home office and the desk where I sit > now at the computer is in the position of being the > leader and decision maker in a business - thats why > I > put it here...it's where the CEO of a company would > sit according to Vastu. > > I was wondering why I had to come in here and 'get > to > work'.... it's the first time I've used my office > since I set it to Vastu design. > > oh....wow....this stuff really works!..lol.. > > again and again I keep being shown these things...I > can't deny this is what I'm meant to be doing...and > it > helps me soooo much to experience it myself...it > helps > boost the confidence as I still have self doubts > popping up. > > at times though, it's so powerful when I get it into > place that it worries me....I worry abut working > with > such strong powerful Universal energies...like the > Kundalini... > > Now I can see again the co-incidences...I've seen > the > coackroach as standing strong and powerful, me > working > efficiently as a strong and powerful leader...and > now > strong and powerful Universal energies... > > it's a strong and powerful part of me > surfacing...the > outer world reflecting the inner world... > > It's a bit too much and I expect it will be aborbed > into me and balance out in a calm way.. > > ohh dear I'm rambling..I can't stop typing..will > 'get > back to work' and direct the energies productively.. > > hope she stops for a lunch break soon...heh... > > A > --- chris wrote: It could be that Im just a lousy poet:) I did not put shakti in it. oh well...... She is powerful and let her make her contribution. She is you. The junior 2 that are one. She also wants this business to work and will help you effeciantly...as is evident. You are doing well, though I wouldnt expect a smooth ride as there is still repulsion in the maggoty sense. As maggots will disinfect a rotting wound allow her to bring health to you and yours. Then the ride will smooth. Just my take.... - blessings - c amaargi wrote: you're spot on - your take is accurate and now I can see how it all ties in. My knees are the personal relationship issues of my former marriage...and I called for help, they're buried deep. I have a lot of anger and resentment to clear, and can't move forward to a new relationship until it's cleared. I've always felt that joints represent moving forward or movement in some way. So the help came from my own self....the healer within...and the wounds that are maggoty that need healing could be a cancer that I believe was forming, if not already formed. I also believe deep held resentments and anger can create diseases, even cancer. I also believe we can heal ourselves...this is one of the magic blessings we have from the Kundalini experience because it all is in our thoughts - disease or health. All we need is within us. 'She' is helping me move forward, will help me to achieve when I had given up, is directing me properly and healing me all at the same time. well...not 'She'...it's 'Me' Do you think this would help if I edit it a bit and send the unfoldment of whats happening to the lists? Don't know about the legalities of talking about curing cancers....don't want to give false hopes...yet it might help some people in some way. Anne --chris wrote: Yes. I wouldnt even edit it but thats just me looking forward to your mail - love - chrism Amaargi writes: I was finally 'allowed' to have a lunch break and decided on a nice healthy meal away from the computer...but ended up making a quick sandwich as it was more 'efficient' and quicker to eat. She'd better calm down soon or I'll be firing her....heh.. __ Photos: Now with unlimited storage http://au.photos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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