Guest guest Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 hi chrism, Two different things happened back then, there were like hundreds or thousands of beings from all cultures, predominantely natives of every land...medicine men/women...who didn't want their knowledge of healing and what they had learnt on Earth to be lost. It was so vast there's no way I could learn it so my mind or sub conscious was opened and it just poured into me. It was a terrible couple of days as I was overwhelmed and overpowered by it all. All I know now is that it's inside of me and when I need it I will call it up, or it will be brought up if required. After all that there was one more book I was to read and I couldn't read it. I sat with a blank frame of mind as I couldn't absorb anymore information, I couldn't watch TV or read a book or anything. I had to sit and be still - nonthinking. So I remembered reading about Edgar Cayce and how he would absorb a book by sleeping on it...so I did that with the book I was supposed to read. I felt it worked, I slept for a few hours and felt much better when I woke up. The other 'lineage' occurance was at the same time. A living Yogi came to me and told me all about his lineage and me learning it or being in it....however it's described. I said no because I believe I had a choice too...but he didn't take any notice of me. I nominated another lineage that I felt more comfortable with but it was ignored. Before writing this email I sat and thought about it all and realised I have done it anyway...this is where Vastu is coming from...and also I brought up the past knowledge that has been lost or misinterpreted because it's so old. My guidance (or me - I don't know who's who anymore) said this morning that I've now gone to another level with the lineage thing and I'm allowed to create my own 'Yoga' or lineage...which is my business. It's all about leading a good lifestyle, in balance with the earth and universal laws...and helping people find their reconnection with God/Source....and finding their own true self. But I'm not the Guru or the healer....my aim is to help them find the Guru/Teacher/God within...become their own healer etc. Something along the lines of that saying (can't remember it exactly) Don't give man his meal of fish - teach him how to fish for himself...any one know the correct story? Things are happening at a fast pace for me now and I'm burning with the Kundalini....I'm being aligned with something...my path... I know you and others on the lists will tell me to surrender....but all I feel is depression, I don't want this in my life, I don't want to be a healer or teacher...all I want is my normal life, my kids and my family most of all....I miss them because I spend so much time alone going through K clearings and stupid phobias and fears..... my heart just isn't in it.... Amaargi , chrism <> wrote: > > Amaargi, > You should write as much as you can of the knowledge that was given. They havent wasted their time on you as you are still in process, you will change as you continue your journey. The line of Kundalini I have is similar to that of a person who is called " John of God " in Brazil. A lineage is a line or a continuation of a pattern. Your lineage is a strong one and is and will do many good things for many individuals. Do as much as you possibly can to include it in your life by surrendering completely to your Kundalini, that is the doorway to the answers you seek . You are passing on aspects of your lineage on the Oz list and this one and it is most welcome. More later as I must go now.....blessings-chrism > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 One day at a time. - blesings - c Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2006 Report Share Posted February 14, 2006 Hi Anne- I can relate to this. I think I am greatly vacillating between surrender and resistance, the more surrender the more resistance. I have done some work and am more open but the result is not a comfort, . What comes doesn't address my wants. It seems to want to transcend them, by pass them, as if they have no relevance at all. I get a bigger sense of spirit, mine or otherwise, I do not know either like you. It is still very subtle like a muffled voice which has just gotten louder. It is like a different body that is round and impermeable, spacious but hard. I cannot identify with it, it is beyond personality and in so very impersonal. It cannot address my wants, there is nothing there to want and no way of wanting it. If this is me it is very different than me. My yearnings in life are still great and I am passing a very lonely time. I feel a need to divest from all yearnings that now I think of as false promises, forgoing pursuing what would be considered certain expected and well adjusted relationships. I am very irritated with most interactions. Most people I cannot understand anymore, it is like they are speaking gibberish. I don't sense they get what I say either. People also respond to something in me that I know is there but which I don't seem to be able to manifest in my manner and personality and they get disappointed to find that I am not what they thought I was. They often don't understand how it is emanating and get confused from their expectation of how it should be, which must make them uncomfortable. What I most want from others now as far as interaction is to play music, good music. This I can see as a relationship that can nurture me. I have a great push to become more reclusive and this I think is not outside of the plan for me. I will continue my service, which now consists of standing outside of the supermarket and giving all who pass a blessing with my special personal prayer, words of gratitude to my personal name of the Goddess. This is something that I know is powerful. I can feel it working on me and going out from me. I don't know what it is but I know it is functioning. However this is not something I can own in my personality and if one were to say how beautiful this is or something else similar this would seem so absurd to me in the context of what it is. It just doesn't apply. I can be what the spirit moves me to be, I just cannot make it part of my personality and cannot abide others responding as if it were. I accept the anonymousness of my spiritual interaction with the world and believe I need to learn how to present it this way even with making public my art. Deference I see as a virtue. I am going to go off list. There are too many words for me now and very little penetrates. The surrender that seems to be wanted is very great and I need to divorce myself from any desire of support with it. If you want to write me, please do so directly. Bret On Feb 14, 2006, at 5:51 PM, ama_ar_gi wrote: > I don't want > to be a healer or teacher...all I want is my normal life, my kids and > my family most of all.... > my heart just isn't in it.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2006 Report Share Posted February 15, 2006 Blessings to you Bret - chrism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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