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Tara,

I'm so happy to hear of your dismemberment. Sounds like your fear levels have

been put to the test. Do you have any guides? I know my guides really help me

when it comes to those large fear tests. No, you are not the same person. Your

body has been arranged for you next step in the kundalini. This is so exciting,

congratulations.

Your getting closer to having that special gift.

 

B

 

 

 

Brings words and photos together (easily) with

PhotoMail - it's free and works with Mail.

 

 

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Thanks, like walking through fire. I do have guides, ones I know well and ones

I am just meeting. The Goddess Chris spoke of, the one I inhaled, I am now

beginning to feel her more and more. I made an altar for her, she is very

welcome. I am blessed, I know, just cannot see that now, yet. Energetically

battered and bruised. Gotta get back on my feet agian. I Feel Odd.

Things are not what I am used to. I suppose they will never agian be

what I am used to, or what I have believed them to be. Unable to

speak about this to anyone, most of my friends cannot get it...Often alone.

Not alone now, you all are here. Chris is here. Goddess is here. Just need

some integration. What special gift do you speak about? Lovingly,

Tara

 

, barbara galvez

<galvezbarbara wrote:

>

> Tara,

> I'm so happy to hear of your dismemberment. Sounds like your fear levels

have been

put to the test. Do you have any guides? I know my guides really help me when it

comes to

those large fear tests. No, you are not the same person. Your body has been

arranged for

you next step in the kundalini. This is so exciting, congratulations.

> Your getting closer to having that special gift.

>

> B

>

>

>

> Brings words and photos together (easily) with

> PhotoMail - it's free and works with Mail.

>

>

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Tara,

What a beautiful, awesome description! Thanks for posting this. And

please let us know what happens next -- after you've gotten some

rest, and had some time to re-integrate your new self.

John E

 

 

, " tara_tuttare "

<taratuttare wrote:

>

> Chrism, and all --

> I don't really know how to describe what happened tonight. I still

can't

> make my fingers become a part of me enough to type.

>

> I had an anxious, agitated feeling inside all day. The blissfull K

strokes

> gone, and in her place an angst. I called my friend to talk, tears

coming

> talking about how hard everything is to juggle.

>

> Today, looking in the mirror didn't recognize myself. Seeing a

shell

> where I used to be.......I don't know where I am.......this shell

is not me.

> It was wierd. I do not recognize my eyes when I look at her in the

mirror

> Where am I, I started to say to my friend on the phone.

> Took a shower and lie naked on my bed. Talking on the phone to my

> friend. Realizing he cannot help me now. Just let it be, go with

it.

>

>

> Looking at my hand.....not recognizing it/me....my hand is fading in

> and out......where am I? Losing a sense of space.....hand fading

in and

> out......Where am I?!!......pulling at my belly and hair.......body

not mine.

> feeling fear......where am I.......who am I.......hand/body not

mine...do

> not recognize me....the used to be me.......pulling at my

hair/body/face.

> Letting this happen.......fading in and out/ who/

am /IIIIIIIII!!!! Patterns

> coming, faces coming.

>

> Wailing like a screaming banshee. they took out my brain first.

Little people

> working fast, talking fast. Me talking, growling, tongue sticking

in and out.

> body going away. Loud voice, hearing me making noise. Pulling at

her body.

> Lying still, they take my brain. Wailing, growling, moving

tongue. Ritual.

> Making gutteral noises, tearing at her body. Everywhere and

nowhere.

> Working around me, efficient elves......banshees. her lying, no

legs, arms.

> Axes coming to take the organs/. No fear, not me. Axes chopping at

> her liver/spleen/kidneys/ bits of flesh lying all around. Little

dark men, with

> high pitched voices, screeming through me. Now my heart -- fear

don't take

> my heart. no mercy. no mercy. chopping my heart. no me, heart

fading in

> and out.chopping legs,and arms/.............all pieces of flesh,

lifeless..jumbled about.

>

> The head is empty, body is empty. Oopen. New. Pieces strewn

about. Now sleep

> comes, REST COMES. Sleeping for about an hour. exhausted. waking

with a

> distorted sense. this is scary Chris. I'm scared I'm going

insane, even though

> you told me this would happen. Scary...little one.

>

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Tara,

 

That's an amazing description! You are moving into a higher sphere of

experience. Don't be afraid. Nothing can harm you if you are not

afraid of it.

 

Love,

 

Sel

 

>

>

> , " tara_tuttare "

> <taratuttare@> wrote:

> >

> > Chrism, and all --

> > I don't really know how to describe what happened tonight. I still

> can't

> > make my fingers become a part of me enough to type.

> >

> > I had an anxious, agitated feeling inside all day. The blissfull K

> strokes

> > gone, and in her place an angst. I called my friend to talk, tears

> coming

> > talking about how hard everything is to juggle.

> >

> > Today, looking in the mirror didn't recognize myself. Seeing a

> shell

> > where I used to be.......I don't know where I am.......this shell

> is not me.

> > It was wierd. I do not recognize my eyes when I look at her in the

> mirror

> > Where am I, I started to say to my friend on the phone.

> > Took a shower and lie naked on my bed. Talking on the phone to my

> > friend. Realizing he cannot help me now. Just let it be, go with

> it.

> >

> >

> > Looking at my hand.....not recognizing it/me....my hand is fading in

> > and out......where am I? Losing a sense of space.....hand fading

> in and

> > out......Where am I?!!......pulling at my belly and hair.......body

> not mine.

> > feeling fear......where am I.......who am I.......hand/body not

> mine...do

> > not recognize me....the used to be me.......pulling at my

> hair/body/face.

> > Letting this happen.......fading in and out/ who/

> am /IIIIIIIII!!!! Patterns

> > coming, faces coming.

> >

> > Wailing like a screaming banshee. they took out my brain first.

> Little people

> > working fast, talking fast. Me talking, growling, tongue sticking

> in and out.

> > body going away. Loud voice, hearing me making noise. Pulling at

> her body.

> > Lying still, they take my brain. Wailing, growling, moving

> tongue. Ritual.

> > Making gutteral noises, tearing at her body. Everywhere and

> nowhere.

> > Working around me, efficient elves......banshees. her lying, no

> legs, arms.

> > Axes coming to take the organs/. No fear, not me. Axes chopping at

> > her liver/spleen/kidneys/ bits of flesh lying all around. Little

> dark men, with

> > high pitched voices, screeming through me. Now my heart -- fear

> don't take

> > my heart. no mercy. no mercy. chopping my heart. no me, heart

> fading in

> > and out.chopping legs,and arms/.............all pieces of flesh,

> lifeless..jumbled about.

> >

> > The head is empty, body is empty. Oopen. New. Pieces strewn

> about. Now sleep

> > comes, REST COMES. Sleeping for about an hour. exhausted. waking

> with a

> > distorted sense. this is scary Chris. I'm scared I'm going

> insane, even though

> > you told me this would happen. Scary...little one.

> >

>

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