Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 > Sonya Parker <spjparker > missed pregnancy > > > Hi guys, > So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now > today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a > miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my > 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really > looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother > to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if > I can go through this again. Hi Sonya, I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't have any suggestions for you at this time. I'm sure the words you need to talk to your kids will come. And the path you need to take will open up to you when you are receptive. Be patient and take good care of yourself while you heal. ~Doh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 Sonya, I don't have any ideas as to how to tell the kids, but I do want to say that I am very sorry to hear about your loss! I hope that you are handling it as best as can be expected and that you are given time to mourn and grieve. There was an excellent article about miscarriage in Mothering a few issues back, the article is probably on their website now, it is worth checking out, it might give you some ideas. Again, I am sorry. Sara Hi guys, So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 I am so sorry to hear about that! I lost a baby between my oldest and youngest. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to go thru.! I really feel for you. Anyway, I wasn't sure if I wanted to try again either, but after talking it through with my hubby, we decided to try again. I was able to get pregnant again, and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. The whole pregnancy was hard because I worried so much, but in the end everything worked out okay. As far as telling your other kids, I'm not sure what to say. Mine was only 4 and didn't even know I was pregnant the first time. I sure wish you the best. Keep bring, and have fun. Blessings Willow Sonya Parker <spjparker wrote: Hi guys, So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 Condolences. I have never experienced miscarriage and can only imagine the pain and emptiness. If you are familiar with Mothering magazine a few months back they had some wonderful pieces on grieving a miscarriage and the lack of support that exists in our society. They have a web site www.mothering.com and on the site are some wonderful message boards where you will find women who have been where you are and may have insight on how to explain the loss to your son. I am truly sorry for your loss. Stephanie - Sonya Parker Saturday, January 25, 2003 9:06 PM missed pregnancy Hi guys, So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 I am so sorry to hear about the baby. You and your family are in my prayers. - " Sonya Parker " <spjparker Saturday, January 25, 2003 9:06 PM missed pregnancy > > Hi guys, > So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. > > > > > > > > Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 Sonya - I am so sorry. You will know when the time is right to make the decision whether to try again. Don't rush it; just give yourself time take good care of yourself. You might check with your doctor or the hospital. Often there are support groups for other mothers experiencing the grief of a miscarriage. They could offer ideas and support for dealing with the loss as well as discussing the subject with your other children and sharing the pain with your husband. I've heard often that the husbands aren't sure how to handle it and don't understand the bond the mom already felt. A support group may be a good resource for both of you. Marvelyn - " Sonya Parker " <spjparker Saturday, January 25, 2003 8:06 PM missed pregnancy > > Hi guys, > So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. > > > > > > > > Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2003 Report Share Posted January 28, 2003 Sonya, I am sorry for your loss, give yourself as much time as you need to heal. When the time is right, some kind of goodbye ceremony might make you and your family feel better. For instance when we lose someone special we have a little thing where we light a pretty candle and we say a prayer and then we each say something that is special to us about the person or furry friend. Then we sat goodbye. Do what is appropriate for your situation. Maybe naming the baby, go with whatever feels right. It doesn't take away all the pain but it is a form of closure for us. For instance after you tell your kids you could say: " In a week (or whatever time you decide) we will have a get together and talk about our feelings and say goodbye, how does that sound " . See what they say. There is also some great mc support online and even places to memorialize your baby. http://www.empty-cradles.com/ http://www.honoredbabies.org/home.htm Be prepared for your little one to bring it up a lot. That's how they process things. Hth's, You will be in my prayers, Mitzi, Mommy to a beautiful little girl 3/00 ************************************** You're only given a little spark of madness, you must not lose it. ---Robin Williams ************************************** - " Sonya Parker " <spjparker Saturday, January 25, 2003 6:06 PM missed pregnancy > > Hi guys, > So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. > > > > > > > > Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2003 Report Share Posted January 28, 2003 Sonya, I think Mitzi's post was beautiful. I also know people who say that naming the baby and having a goodbye ceremony, though they cannot take away the pain, do provide a sense of closure. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless, -Theresa In a message dated 1/28/03 10:49:28 AM Eastern Standard Time, writes: > Message: 13 > Mon, 27 Jan 2003 22:21:15 -0800 > " Dan & Mits " <vegibrgr > Re: missed pregnancy > > Sonya, > I am sorry for your loss, give yourself as much time as you need to heal. > When the time is right, some kind of goodbye ceremony might make you and > your family feel better. For instance when we lose someone special we have > a little thing where we light a pretty candle and we say a prayer and then > we each say something that is special to us about the person or furry > friend. Then we sat goodbye. Do what is appropriate for your situation. > Maybe naming the baby, go with whatever feels right. It doesn't take away > all the pain but it is a form of closure for us. > For instance after you tell your kids you could say: " In a week (or > whatever > time you decide) we will have a get together and talk about our feelings > and > say goodbye, how does that sound " . See what they say. > There is also some great mc support online and even places to memorialize > your baby. > http://www.empty-cradles.com/ > > http://www.honoredbabies.org/home.htm > Be prepared for your little one to bring it up a lot. That's how they > process things. > Hth's, > You will be in my prayers, > Mitzi, > Mommy to a beautiful little girl 3/00 > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 28, 2003 Report Share Posted January 28, 2003 i'm truly sorry to hear about what happened to you. i can say that i know how you feel because i had a miscarriage in April 2001. i knew i was 12 weeks pregnant but when i went to the doctor, they said i can't be more than 8 weeks! so right away i knew something wasn't right. But i still went home happy. My husband was happy. We both wanted to show off the sonogram picture, but he agreed to let me take it to work first. then i would let him have it the next day. i took it to work. showed it off and by 4pm, i was having a miscarriage. Please don't stop trying!!! Please don't stop trying!!! Sonya Parker <spjparker wrote: Hi guys, So I finally found out last week I was pregnant (one year in the making). Now today I had to make a trip to the emergency room and found out I had a miscarriage. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to tell my 5yr ds and my 13yr old dd. I'm at a loss for words and quite numb. My ds was really looking forward to having someone he could take care of and be a big brother to. Everyone says keep trying and have fun doing it. I really don't know if I can go through this again. Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2003 Report Share Posted January 29, 2003 Thanks guys. I guess i'm always so wrapped up in helping other people that I never thought I would ever need help. I'm use to being the one that helps everybody else heal so when this happened this was a reality check. I'm a firm believer that all things happen for a divine reason and there is always a lesson to be learned from every situation. I'm guessing my lesson is to be open enough to allow others to help me and not try to deal with everything on my own because we can't do it all, sometimes we need help. So now all I can do is let go and accept the help that people are offering. I'm always glad to be a part of this group. Mail Plus - Powerful. Affordable. Sign up now Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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