THE MOUNTAIN PATH JULY 1964

[Guest guest]

How I came to the Maharshi - II

By P. V. Sastri

Which is the greater miracle, to change, the date on a tombstone or to change a man's heart?

In May 1945 my eldest son, who was 23 years old, married, devout and a very promising young man, passed away. The event was so terrible and caused such grief that it was thought I would not survive it. I neglected practically all my worldly duties for some time. Later I was somehow attracted to Sri Ramanasramam and went there with the whole of my family. Ordinarily people, under such circumstances, would go to obtain peace and get rid of their sorrow. But that was not the idea of myself and my wife. Having read about Sri Krishna's bringing Sandipani's son back to life, we were so mad as to think of getting our son restored to life by the grace of Bhagavan Sri Ramana. We were prepared to sacrifice our all for that.

We left for Tiruvannamalai and, reaching the Ashram at 11 a.m. entered the hall where Bhagavan used to sit. Our one idea was to beseech him to bring our son back to life; but despite our intense desire we found that we could not open our mouths to speak. We simply sat silent till Bhagavan rose for dinner and everyone went out. Then we too went back to where we lodged. We went again in the afternoon, when devotees assembled in the hall, with the same purpose but with the same result. In that way eight days passed. Each morning and afternoon we wanted to implore Bhagavan to bring our son back to life but we could not utter a word in his presence. On the eighth evening we talked it over together on coming out of the hall and decided that it was no use staying any longer since our purpose had not been fulfilled. So we decided to leave next morning.

At that moment a gentleman of the name of Subbarao met us. He was formerly a pleader, I think at Nellore, and had come to Tiruvannamalai and settled down as one of the resident devotees. We had made friends, perhaps because I also am a pleader. He asked me what we were talking about, so I told him our whole story. I admitted that we felt peace in Bhagavan's presence, but the moment we left the hall our grief burst out again like a volcanic eruption; and yet, we were unable to speak out and put our desire before Bhagavan.

Mr. Subbarao promised to take us to Sri Bhagavan next day and introduce us to him. We agreed and next day, on being introduced, told Bhagavan about our grief and in a general way asked for his help. Sri Bhagavan nodded, his head and said "Seri, Seri" (All right, All right). But we still found ourselves unable to talk any more, still less to tell him what it was that we really wanted. Again we felt constrained to sit there speechless. That evening we decided to leave, since even the intervention of Mr. Subbarao had not helped us. But Ramana would not let us go. The thought occurred to me that I should buy some books published by the Ashram, so I went to the bookstall. The gentleman in charge was in meditation, but he opened his eyes immediately and asked us to come in. On being questioned by him I repeated our whole story. He said that the Maharshi was capable of bringing the boy back to life, but since the boy was a highly religious and really devout young man he would have gone to better regions and would not like to come back to us. I assured him that he loved us so much and we loved him so much that he would really come back if it were possible. The gentleman then put me another question. Suppose Bhagavan brings him back to you and then both of you die, what will the position be then? This question dispelled the thick cloud of illusion that had enveloped us and at last we saw that our attempt to get our son back was sheer madness. I felt at the time and still feel now that it was not the bookseller that was talking to me like that but really Bhagavan speaking through him.

We abandoned the hope of getting our son back to life and also our plan of leaving immediately. We stayed for about twelve more days, until our monetary resources were exhausted. The rest of our stay at the Ashram was only for the purpose of obtaining peace. Sri Ramana's "all right" had been meant to help us in the only way in which a realized Guru will help. His grace was bestowed on us and he began to work silently in our hearts to remove the thick clouds of sorrow and end the volcanic outbursts of grief. He began to instil peace and develop real knowledge in us. Silently and slowly the grace is still working in that direction. What we wanted to have we were actually prevented from asking for. We were also not allowed to go away in a mood of despair. We were blessed with his grace and uplifted in the right way.

Because this is an experience of an extraordinary type I feel that it is appropriate to make it known to all the devotees of Bhagavan.

How I came to the Maharshi - III

By 'D'

I first learnt of Sri Ramana Maharshi when I came across the book A Search in Secret India by Paul Brunton in 1943 or 1944. It made a tremendous impression on me and I must have read it three or four times; but somehow it did not occur to me that I could go to Tiruvannamalai and meet Bhagavan in actual flesh and blood. Apparently I was not destined to; maybe because I was not mature enough. Next I remember hearing about his Mahasamadhi (leaving the body) in April 1950 when it was broadcast all over India. I felt very very sorry that I had missed having his darshan.

One day in 1961 I happened to visit a friend who had a very pious and devout lady staying with him. There was a small gathering there,of people who had come to hear her talk on the spiritual life. I also stayed to listen. The words that stuck in my mind were: "Don't delay any longer. The time to begin your sadhana is here and now. It will be too late when you get old; either you will not have the energy or ill health will prevent it. Don't put it off on the excuse that you are still working professionally or in business or that you still have to arrange your daughters' marriages and get your sons fixed up in life before you can attend to anything else."

I returned home in a very thoughtful mood. Sadhana meant for me Bhagavan. Fortunately I had one or two books about him and his teaching written by some of his old and devoted followers. I read and reread them, and was completely overcome. The direct method of Selfenquiry as explained in them simply captivated me and would not leave me. I got all the books I could and went through them; and then the idea of visiting Sri Ramanasramam arose in me. An article that appeared in a weekly paper about the continued spiritual life there converted the idea into a firm decision. I arrived there for the first time at the end of 1961, just after Bhagavan's Jayanti (birth anniversary).

Although it is said that Bhagavan's teachings are crystal clear and do not require any explanations, I would nevertheless submit that for a new sadhaka (aspirant), especially a dunce like me, and one who has not sat at his lotus feet, books written by his old disciples are a great help in understanding his terse and incisive writings and sayings at least in the early stages.

Sri Ramanasramam today has a very calm and peaceful atmosphere and yet vibrant with power. I have found it more conducive to meditation than any other place I know. The presence of Bhagavan is felt everywhere and more strongly than I can say. In fact I can fully endorse the poem by S. P. Mukherjee in the first issue of The Mountain Path and should like to quote it here as saying what I want to say.

A BEACON STILL

We have not seen you, Bhagavan;We have not approached your lotusfeetYet do we findThe now and the then are the same for us,The body-presence, the presence in the heart,These are the same.One thing only do we know —Ramanashram is a beacon still.*_________________________________* This is the correct form. The 'That' which crept in at the beginning of the last line in our January issue was unauthorised. (Editor).

I was delighted to find that one is at perfect liberty to do what one likes there and not do what one does not like. No compulsory ritual or discipline. There are certain rituals and pujas, but you are at liberty to attend them or not, as you please. In fact you are left alone to follow your own path. That does not mean that no one is helpful. On the contrary, I found that the inmates and devotees are always willing to help when help is needed; only they do not interfere when interference is not needed.

There is a mysterious power that draws you to the Ashram again and again. It is like a magnet. Each year now I come back for as much time as my work will allow.