Who am I?

[Guest guest]

Hello Richard,

 

I know what you want to say to me: that I have too long mails. : )

You are right.

 

 

To reslove some very practical questions, related to karma,

spirtual heart, the lack of joy, a lot of stress relief, to find the

key how to perform vichara in the right way, questions related to ego,

to the final process of self - realization, free will against karma,...

It is joined practice and theory, and we must find our answers to all

these questions. Without guru, it is very hard work. I fell such relief

that I finished that hard work.

If you don't know (or somebody from this group) don't know what I

am talking about, these are questions, which are not so easy to be

solved, really solved: How to do atma vichara? Is it only effort or

something more or less? Does our ego survive when we are sages? Are you

ready to go through the terrible fear which is always present during

the moment of self - realization? (Ramana had it, Paul Brunton had it,

Echart Tolle...., they all had some 'dying' moment during the final

realization moments. Whirlpools, the loss of consciosness, some unknown

power..., are you ready for that? There is no 'transition' without that

'nice' side-effects. When ego dies, it squeal as a pig. Always. Are we

really ready to be in the state as Anthony de Mello call 'to be

emotionally independent of anything and anyone?' We can read books,

meditate,...., but something in us can wish only to acquire some

additional boost, but it (ego) is not ready to die. Are we really ready

to be independent, or we are just curios about it? Everything what we

are now, all our features, will cease. They can be illusion, but can we

live wihtout them? Do we love them too much? Is there something which

says: "I want to be dependent."? And the other side which always be

hunger for freedom? Is our practice miserable, is our vichara nothing

but an another way to torture ourselves, because we didn't put some

important ingredient: a pinch of joy, as Buddhist do? Or we are too

lazy to go in some practical aspects of vichara, and we are so happy

just to talk about it? Is the process of losing ego irreversible, so we

can't go back to the previous state? Yes, it is the case, so, are we

ready to step in somehting which can be reversed in its original state?

Or about our spiritual heart? Should it be the place of our intensive

foucus or not?

 

There are a lot of questions that must be solved before we can say

that we are ready. I know that I am, and I had to solve all these and

hundreds of other questions. Why? Because nothing is so easy when you

know that you have no choice. That you can't live another way, you can

only follow your destiny.

 

It brings me to your moving to Tiruvanamalai, Richard. Some of

members made jokes (including you) that you are not your body so nobody

travels. Ramana explains that very well. Q: "Should I go to jungle and

left my family (to do vichara)?" Ramana: "If it were your prarabdha

karma, this question woudn't be asked." The same is with you. It is too

big step to be accidental. It is your prarabdha. I have no wish to go

to Arunachala, but you have. You have your prarabdha, I have mine. So,

I have nothing but the best wishes for you.

 

And, I have a question for you: do you think that we, who

understand Ramana's teaching, have done enough to share our insights

with the other people, because 90% of them can't undestand almost

nothng? Another words, would it be some kind of blasphemy to explain

vichara method more thoroughly, to give the people some idea how to

start and find themselves? As I said in my last mail, vichara is not

only: "Who is thinking about...? I am? Who am I?" There is a lot of

things beside it. I could see from Ramana's books that many questioneer

didn't get some things. Then he used to cut them with 'who is asking

that', or 'investigate that', and they have no clue what to do. Do you

think that we should put some more light on the process? Or you think

that it is different for any person, so we shoudn't even try? I agree,

we are all different, but if we don't have options, we don't have the

whole picture. Almost any questioneer was confused in Ramana's company.

 

 

I am full of words, again. Because I don't want anyone to go

through the hell I had to pass. You had your Guru. I was so alone. And

I had to resolve all questions without any help. Just me and books.

Ramana was so silent. No mercy if you are not ready to make a enorumous

effort. Now, Ramana is smilling again, when I killed my inner questions

and demons. Now, he is very helpful. His eyes are vivid again. Can any

Ramana's devotee help to the others to avoid some pits? Or you think it

is wrong, because Ramana didn't give any instruction how we should

perform vichara? Just 'investigate', 'who is the one who...',..., it is

a great help when Ramana is nearby and he is the one who does the

'intervention' in questioneers mind. But to have a teacher who has the

body, that is different. You have that kind of guru. For me, Ramana's

picture is more than enough. But, what about the others?

 

The members of this group could think that I have a 'sage' syndrom.

No, I don't. I am an ordinary jerk, as any other person. But, I have no

urge to read no more, everything is done for me. I've completed my

'school' phase and I resolved all questions that I needed. My knowledge

is completed and I live by it. Every day more and more. Sometimes I

used to do vichara 2 or 3 hours, but I was full of misery. Now, I don't

even look at my watch. One minute of the real practice is better than

some wrong oriented effort for 5 hours. The right one minute gives me

more peace and inner freedom and indepenence than tons of yesterday's

efforts.

 

I don't have 'Ganapati Shastri's syndrome', that we should do some

'reform' of Ramana's teachings. But to make it more understandable to

people, that it could be done. It still would be an individual paht,

vichara, but the method and theory would be more clear. For the most

people, even the concept of spiriutal heart can be misinterperted, I've

seen many expamples of that.

 

 

 

Richard Clarke wrote:

 

 

Dear Dragon,

 

Nameste.

 

The more I practice, the more I feel like

silence is the best answer. So my emails and postings are getting

shorter.

 

I have had the great good fortune to have a

Self-realized sage as a teacher since 1990. This is Master Nome of SAT (WWW.satramana.org).

They recently have added a download page and have an mp3 recording of a

satsang that you can listen to, and copies of their magazine,

'Reflections' that you can download. http://www.satramana.org/html/downloads.htm I also post from his writings.

 

Nome practiced Self-inquiry, and is a wonderful

teacher of it, and Ramana's teachings, and Sankara's Advaita Vedanta.

 

One thing Nome says again and again about

inquiry is 'Let your focus be non-objective.' Any objective focus,

focus on what is known, no matter how subtle, is a view through the

mind. What is it within your self that is always present and never

objective? That is where to look.

 

Enough for now.

 

Now two,

Richard

 

-