For You Dragan

[Guest guest]

Dearest Dragan,

 

It is good that you are here. When I think of Sri Ramana, my eyes get

moist. I don't know why because it is as if I have known Ramana all my

life. He is the great compassionate Sage of Arunachala who has no

equals, who is the very manifestation of the Heart, whose slightest

glance opens the Heart.

 

I know there are so many Gurus in this world, very good Gurus no doubt,

but I have become so biased in my thinking that no one should listen

to me. I don't think of anyone but Ramana.

 

Of course, I love and respect all good people and spend time with them

but the eyes of my heart remain fixed on Sri Ramana.

 

My Gurudev Chitrabhanu-Ji used to visit Ramana when Chitrabhanu-Ji was

a teenager back in 1930s. When I met my teacher, I was about 21-22. How

horribly, I had been suffering Dragan for so many years. I can't even

explain properly. My life was a constant mental torture but somehow I

was carrying on.

 

I love my teacher because he told me that I should follow Ramana's

teachings. It was magic. If there is any magic in this world, it was

this magic. Some magical spontaneous love erupted in my heart for

Ramana. Soon after I was blessed by Bhagavan.

 

I love writing about Bhagavn and thinking about him even now that 30

years have passed. It is as if all the molecules in my body start

vibrating as the Heart at the mere mention of Ramana. Just the mere

thought of Ramana. Just some words of devotees, it does that. Otherwise

I am a perfectly ordinary person.

 

I understand everything you are saying Dragan. You have had difficult

10 years. Being in the middle and not being able to go forward or go

back....it is not easy.

 

The terror you speak of in the final stage of Self-Realization is most

natural. All sages have felt it. It is not easy to cross except through

grace because the survival instinct is embedded in the deepest part of

the subtle mind.

 

My teacher used to say that, we should not force anything. In fact,

Self-Realization cannot be forced. The force itself becomes the

hindrance being a manifestation of the ego will.

 

Any force applied through the will either outside or within oneself is

violence and where there is violence there is always fear. My teacher

told me that in the long run only the practice of Ahimsa overcomes all

fears.

 

Not with force, but through surrender, (not my will but thine O' Lord)

the highest state is revealed by overwhelming grace of the Lord of the

Heart of our being as the Heart, the Self. This is what Bhagavan used

to say.

 

Well, I could say more but enough has been said.

 

All Love and Blessings

May all beings be free from sorrow and be comforted in friendship and

love.

Harsha

 

Dragan Pavlovic wrote:

 

Hello Richard,

 

You are talking about 'sharing'. You

don't need to share your experiences (what you had in your practice,

some divine things), but I am still amazed that nobody asks any

question, so I put on several ones, to investigate am I mad or not.

There is noting which can be 'secret', and you can (if you talk about

some remedies from some rookie problems) share something or to see in

this group that somebody talk about its insights, doubts... It seems

that everyone knows everything. That means, in several years we'll

have at least 500 Ramanas. We both know that it won't happen.

 

I understand you. Your 'sharing with

somebody who is not ready to hear something is not useful'. If I am

right, it is the part about the final stage, about the moment of self -

realization, which is not 'a small' death (as we call the time when we

sleep), it is a big deal death. : ) I told you, I had it twice. I don't

know what I should have been if I had stepped forward, but who knows,

maybe I wold have some kind of samadhi. Nice thing is that I can repeat

this when I want. And I'll step forward this time, no matter what.

 

You are willing to die. I'd be more

precise: you are not thoughts about dying, because you have transcended

that question. If you ask me, I have no wish to die, or not to die. I

have no opinion, but not as an ordinary person who says: "I don' know",

but that question don't bother me anymore. Because I 'lived' that

aspect, I didn't just read about it. As your Nome says, I met Yama

twice. Everything is about transcendence, which comes with our effort

and experience.

A teacher of swordsmanship in Japan

met a guy, samurai, who was Emperor's bodyguard. But he wanted to

improve his skill.

Teacher: "Why do you want to be my

student? How did you become Emperor's bodyguard?"

Samurai: "At first, I was thinking a lot

about death. Many days, months. Then, during the time, this matter

didn't concern me anymore. I didn't even thing about death."

Teacher: "I have nothing to teach you.

You

have already reached the ultimate mastery."

 

But

nobody wants to die just like that. I wouldn't say that you are ready to die, but

that matter just stopped to concern you. Yes, this body will die, I

always say that we can hold even the food in our bodies, and what to

say about any other things? Suzuki says that there is no great deed

without losing our mind. The same is with happiness.

 

Have you read something from Hindu

religion? Their varnasharama system. There are 4 castes, but also 4

orders of life. Brahmacharya = until you are 25, then you get married.

Grihasta = you are married. Vanaprastha = your son can take care about

your wife, and your wife is like your sister, this is the beginning of

separation. Sanyasa = you leave your family. Veda's knowledge. And that

knowledge recognize Shiva's hill, Arunachala, as a genuine place of

pilgrimage, that is, it is very special place. My friend was there

twice. I won't say some standard things "renunciation is inside you,

not outside". This is the waste of words I am talking about. It seems

that it is your pararabhda and your decision is not bad, so go for it!

To spend the rest of the life in India, when you already have

grandchildren, it is more than great. I would do the same thing. And it

will always some people who will try to stop you.

 

A living guru, who is not dead. For

me, if we are educated and enough experienced, the crucial thing is to

be near that person. There is a term: the teaching of the spirit

transfer (there is a book by Huang Po). When you forget your question

in presence of your guru, that is all. Sometimes I think that gurus

shouldn't talk anything but about practice. But they must answer some

questions, because of our monkey's minds. I like Nisaragadatta's remark

about his self - realization: "I just followed my guru and I believed

him". Plain and simple.

 

I don't know why that therm

'investigate' is frequently used. For Buddhism, this is OK, they always

talk about the fact how our mind is unstable. But for vichara, 'to

investigate' means to stay in silence. Do I... Am I..., if we get any

answer, it won't be true. Only the silence will be. That is an another

thing to teach the others. Because some people do some silly thing

'neti neti' (Am I my leg, eyes, head,...), which is not vichara. My

girlfried thought that it is vichara.

 

Now you make me to be sentimental. :

)

Yes, my brother, WE HAVE NO CHOICE! : ) Put aside all words, you talk

about illusion, our mind,..., but if we go in our heart, the answer

would be: "You can't live differently. It is not your choice." It is

not 'destiny', it is something which I don't question. Without Ramana,

my life would be nothing but animal. No, Richard, vichara don't bring

only the inner peace, it put all things in order, everything is more

clear. You are right, nothing else is not important as our path. Again,

we don't need any additional words. This is our path, there is no way

out. So, if we are smart, we will follow the current. Tiger can let us

go, Ramana won't. : )

 

Yes, you are in Ramana's hands! : )

Any persistent and honest seeker is in the same situation. Any book,

any wisdom,..., Ramana is there. We are all in his hands (their

followers). Your trip is not a disaster. Even I am not attracted to

Arunachala, I think that I would faint if I went there. To be where HE

lived, or to see his grave... and Arunachala is more than special

place. Go there, Richard. The worst thing you can get is to recharge

your batteries. But, I am sure that you will stay there. I would.

 

I won't be angry, although you all

(in

this group) think that these questions are 'mine'. They are my past. I

wanted to ask other people if they have examined some very important

things. Paradox: I used hundreds of words, just to try to direct this

group to use less words. : ) We really don't need to exchange

information. Everything is in books, so clear. If somebody has some

question, OK. But words, words,..., I can't stand this style anymore. I

call this 'the noise in the head'. Why should I read somebodies self -

digested quotes? I want to read about real problems, experiences, to

see posts full of heart and honesty.

 

I can see that you are more opened

for

me now. I don't need you, you don't need me. We know the same things.

But we choose to communicate. That is nice. There is no ego in that

kind of contact, full of freedom. I will read your guru's pdf files,

but I doubt that I won't find anything new. I read everything. Shrimad

Bhagavatam (bhakti yoga). I translated 12. canto (240 pages). From

Ramana, I have all that is worth of having. So, I have no urge to read

a single word anymore. I had a nice 'calibration' by Echart Tolle, Jidu

and UG Krishnamurti and Tibetan Buddhism. Enough to jump in Ramana's

hands again. Forewer. I buy less and less books every year. I had

enough words in my life.

 

You thank me, I thank you. For

understanding.

 

Your 'not two' deserves that you

find

Sosan's booklet, it is maybe 4 A4 pages, but it is wonderful. "The book

of true faith" (by Hsin Hsin Ming or Seng San, or Sosan, it depends on

the language: Japanese, Chinese... You don't need even to download this

book, it is so small that it is the part of the web page. You can find

several versions. There are several very powerful sentences. It is a

real inspiration.

 

Everything the best for the brother

in

arms. I am 39, but believe me, I am old as you are. : )

 

Dragan

[Guest guest]

Hello Harsha (because

I know who moderator is, but it is not important),

 

Thank you for your hospitality, again.

You thank me every time, but I must do the same, because I've written

several mails without any inner censor, I told you everything I needed

to say, and you have always understood that. It seems that the most of

wise mails is written by a bit older people than I am (I am 39), very

experienced in Ramana's teaching.

 

Yes, dear moderator, I can't see

anybody who can be like Ramana. So pure. embodied ahimsa. One of the

rare teachers who attained self - realization, THEN they read about

this: "What is happening to me? Hmmm... I must read about this." He

didn't have any practice before his sahaja, so he had to read to fully

understand what happened. So rare. To read in books what you already

have. Amazing.

 

I think that you are right. We all

knew Ramana from the day we were born. It must be that he was our guru

in our past lives. There is no other explanation. But, the sun is

always shinning, and it's up to use when we will direct our gaze to it.

When our inner growth will be ready for Ramana. And, he is waiting,

there is no rush for him. As he said: "I am here. Where could I go?",

when he is about to die.

 

Sahaja is very rare. That's why Ramana

is so special.

Ramana has everything. Some people say that Buddha knew 64.000

techniques of vipassan. Which means: tailor your teaching to devotee's

needs, not vice versa. Ramana does it. If somebody was at the level of

personal believing, he helped him in a way which is the best for THAT

person. Q: Should I read the Bible (Bhagavad-Gita)? Ramana: Always.

Is it wrong? No. Ramana felt that this

man couldn't went further than to follow some religious principles (to

be part of flock), so he has to continue, until he transcends

them. Some people don't understand how Ramana is so 'two - faced'. One

man gets one upadesha, the other some different kind of it. But it

depends on the man who is asking the question. Without any doubt,

Ramana is more than genuine sage. He attracts everyone. I was

practicing TM, so I can

depict savikalpa samadhi, some parts of it are often present during TM.

But, to explain what is Ramana, and my feelings for him..., I am

afraid, words are not enough. Ramana is simply Ramana, because there is

no reference for any comparison.

 

An anecdote: while I was sleeping in

my room in the morning, my mother used to enter and left me some food

for breakfast on

my table. Just in front of Ramana picture. Hindu people offer food to

their gurus (they put it in front of his picture), then that food is

blessed and

they call it prasadam. My mother said: "While you are sleeping I bring

food for

your sage with beard, because I always put the plate in front of his

picture." My mother was sensitive enough to 'understand' that she

offers food to Ramana! : ) It is more than interesting, because she

doesn't know anything about prasadam.

And, when I had some problems with my

digestion, what my mother did? She is one of the strong

women who believe in her strength only and in some cosmic justice. She

took

Ramana's pictures! And asked him to help me. She doesn't read his

books, she knows only fragments about him (I was talking about Ramana).

But she didn't pray to God, she used Ramana's picture! Everyone with

the pure heart can't omit to see his divine attributes.

I understand you. Any spiritual person

is full of suffering in this world. Because, as Ramana says, to live in

relative world is a living hell. Our Ramana says that! (Maha yoga) Why?

Not because he is a coward, sages are not people who

hides from the world, they are the most adapted creatures, but he knows

the truth: life is full of

suffering. As Sri Chinmoy says (I don't like him, but if something is

wise, it is wise): "Our life is like living with a monkey. He left us

alone for 5 minutes, then he bites us. And that is our life. Five

minutes of peace and the rest is pain." Ramana knew that. Anything who

has 1% of brain, can see that our lives are the roads to nowhere. Work,

TV, food, sex, children,..., is that all?

 

Why we have that 'is that all?'

Because we are greedy? NO. Because we know that EVERYTHING is our

inheritance. We feel that everything belong to us, that is, to the

Self, who we are.

That's why people have so many wishes. They feel that everything belong

to them. The only fault is that they are trying to find that outside,

not inside. But it is the same hunger. Bill Gates is

spiritual as we are, but he reversed his polarity. He wants everything

in this, material world. This is very stupid. He can't sleep in

two beds, eat 7 meals, because he is rich. But he can fill his

heart with the light, and everything will be his.

 

Ha, ha... It is very interesting how

nowadays gurus are honest, if they are real gurus. They don't say

'follow me'. They say follow Ramana. : ) Because they know that even

Ramana has no body, he is still 1000000 years more powerful and wiser

than they are. We can spend million years, but we couldn't find any

flaw in Ramana's

teaching and his life.

 

I don't have your hunger to

talk and

write about Ramana, because I have every letter of his in my brain, in

my cells. He lives in me. He is me. It is really boring to read some

other books and to say that Ramana says the same.

 

My Harsha friend, I am glad that you

understand me. To be alone in THIS very hard impersonal teaching, is a

terrible experience. Without any help, there was nobody to give me

hand, I didn't have any place to put my head took a rest, even for a

second. Just an empty space, destroyed beliefs, and you don't

know where to go next. In "Mahabharata" and Hindu sacred books, they

have a word 'brahmastra'. This is an arrow, with the power of H-bomb.

When I saw Ramana's eyes from the first time and read 'who am I?' and

Osborn's "The teaching of Bhagavan...", my world ceased to exist and I

didn't have any new one to replace it. Ramana took everything from me.

I had to start

from scratch. Through fears of loosing my ego. That was my nightmare.

But,

something in me didn't want to let me go. Now, I am grateful for that.

I transcended that question (because there is no logical 'answer' to

this. Nobody sane won't give his ego, no matter what. Even when we

really feel that this ego is not good for us, and we are full of

slogans, we like our 'virtues' and even bad sides. The only right

answer is

to transcend this question. How? To persist in the quest, to think

about it, to do vichara, and the mind will give up. We are 'above' that

problem, we are on the top of the mountain, and problem is down there)

and I am free now. I just enjoy the ride. If Ramana is my driver, I

haven't any reason to have any fear.

 

Why am I talking so much? : ) I don't

want anyone to follow my steps. This group should be that nice hand to

help the people who can't move and can't leave Ramana. And you are that

group. For

me, too late, but I am glad that I met you all.

 

The final stage. If we don't have any

choice, why should be bothered with that? It is OK to inform other

people that what it is look like, because they can encounter some

similar states, just like that. As I said, I looked at 'Yamaraja's'

eyes, (death of ego) twice. And, my mind drew me back. Of course that

after that 'dying' we will get the mercy. Brunton was so confused a

couple of days, then..., he was reborn, so calm and happy. That things

are so natural. Ego don't want to die. You could read about that in my

second mail. It is totally unknown 'land', with different laws,

reality,..., I could feel that. And I knew that I will die (my ego). I

was only several 'who am I' (because I did japa at that moment with

vichara) away of jump in some other reality. So, I know that fear at

the first hand.

 

We know that we are on the right path

when we see all our conclusions in books of sages. You are talking what

I realized maybe last year. We can't force things. Any violence will

have the reaction of our body and mind. The will fight back. We will be

ill, or our mind will resist even more. That I call 'ahimsa vichara',

vichara without any force. Of course, too many people just wait for

grace, without any practice. It won't come without practice. Even

Ramana don't come in somebody's life without his honest and devoted

searching.

 

Hmm... You said an another word, which

I use in Reiki. Not will, but firm intention. Will is the fruit of ego,

firm intention is the product of our desire to go forward (don't split

the hair as other do, to say: there isn't forward and backward in Self,

we are not in school. If we don't go toward some deep knowledge, we go

backward). Will is very rigid and full of effort, too powerful to be of

any use, intention is like the river, it has a continual current, but

never stops. Will always spots when it is depleted. And another 'yes',

if we use power and violence, behind it is nothing but fear.

 

I write thousands of words every day

in my mails. Why? I really don't know. Maybe it must be like that.

Maybe I want to help people. But, the higher power will know, let it

follow me and you, all of us.

 

Let me to finish as you did, but with

Tibetan (Buddhism) prayer (I never pray for myself, only to have grace

to reach Ramana, or for the other people):

 

"Let everybody be happy and to have

the reason to be happy.

Let everybody be free of pain and be

free of the cause of pain."

 

I like your understanding of Ramana's

path and your compassion. You have digested it. You didn't finish with

some dry (try but

dry) slogan as: "Everything is Self". It seems that only young people

can do that. They haven't seen much pain and felt it. You finish with

words as 'blessings', 'sorrow'..., I am glad because of that. Dogmatic

style is not good, even it can be true.

 

So, be blessed, Harsha man, and much

more than that: grow in light.

 

Dragan