Slanderous allegations

[Guest guest]

To Whom It May Concern:

 

I, Edward T. Rottbottom, Attorney at Law, am writing on behalf of my wrongly

accused colleague and client, Mr. Pete.

 

Mr. Pete has received numerous e-mails accusing him of being, in fact, a

pseudonym for one Cornelius Blunderbust, who occasionally posts to a

group called SFBAVEG.

 

I have known Mr. Pete for virtually his entire life. Based on that long

experience, I can assure you that my client is telling the truth, the whole

truth, and nothing but the truth, when he denies being, in reality, that

notorious scoundrel and drunk, Cornelius Blunderbust. Why, just a moment

ago, Mr. Pete swore to me on the life of his dearly beloved sister,

Gonorrhea, that he is not guilty of the scurrilous charge made against him.

 

Mr. Pete has a reputation in the community as one who is as honest as a

corporate accountant, as honest as United States President Bill Clinton, as

honest as professional boxer Mike Tyson. The man is innocent, I tell you,

as innocent as the young lady whom he paid for a message last night. Why

Mr.

Pete is as pure as yellow snow and any accusations to the contrary are pure

slander.

 

I have instructed my client to say nothing further about this charge and I

will not dignify any more accusations with a response.

 

Yours truly,

 

Edward T. Rottbottom, Esq.