The First Vegetarian Saint ^_^)/

[Guest guest]

Hi happy vege friends! )/ yeah!

 

This is my first post!

 

Nice to meet you.

 

I'm a happy vegan named Bruno,

and I was recently bitten on my

nipple by a wasp.

 

My hometown is Saratoga, but

I'm living in Yokohama, Japan

now.

 

Two weeks ago, on Saturday,

I took the train to a far off,

beautiful outdoor hotsprings

up a winding path deep in the

mountains.

 

It was wonderful.

 

But since it's summer, they

had a sign up Beware of Wasps.

 

It said the wasps bite.

 

So I tiptoed on the green, mossy

stones, slowly sunk deep into

the warm hotsprings water and

opened my paperback book to

read.

 

Then I heard a slight humming.

 

It soon became the purr of a toy

Cesna and I looked down and saw

a wasp friend was preparing to land

on my ear.

 

So I wacked it away.

 

Not a meatatarian wack, but a

gentle vege one.

 

Next, I lowered my glance to the

water, and the wasp I had flung off

was on its back flapping the warm

water with both wings.

 

It was trying to breathe, and its

tiny fluttering lashes pleaded with

me for life. I want to live too.

 

My heart could hear the whisper

of its eyes Why...? Why...?

 

So I quickly grabbed a nearby

bamboo sun hat, scooped the

friend out of the water and

tapped it onto a nearby stone.

 

It made two or three splashes

in a small puddle of water, and

then flew straight up towards

the heavens.

 

I felt so proud.

 

I felt something sacred.

 

I was happy.

 

That day when I got home

I counted twenty-two wasp

bites on my body.

 

That was two weeks ago.

 

I made so many wasp friends!

 

Then last Saturday I went again.

 

This time I put anti-wasp gell all

over my body and even on my hair.

 

I layed again in the warm water

against a big rock and watched

the green leaves flutter against

the high blue sky.

 

It was so peaceful.

 

Then I heard two men say

" There's a wasp in the water. "

 

I heard splashing sounds.

 

I looked and they were bobbing

a wasp up and down with something

in their hand, trying to delete its

name from the Book of Life.

 

I'm shy, so it's hard for me to

interrupt complete strangers and

say " Excuse me servant of Satan.

Could you cease to sin before

God and man before I beachslap

you? "

 

But I had to.

 

So I rushed between the two

human handmaidens of Beelzebub

and up to the wasp friend and said

" I can't stand to watch this " and

scooped the friend up with my sun

hat like before.

 

I shook it up toward the heavens

and hummed the first few

verses of Born Free through my

nose.

 

But as I sang I felt a twingle on

the knuckle of my left index finger.

 

It was the finger of my hand that

held the bamboo cap.

 

I looked down and blood was

oozing from a fold below my

knuckle.

 

And a wasp was perched on the

knuckle part and was moving

its tongue to and fro to stir wasp

excrement into my knuckle blood.

 

I shouted out a term for copulation,

and instinctively vege-wacked it high

into the firmament.

 

But then, still in shock, I felt

another tinkle and looked further

up and -- you may not believe this,

but it's true -- the wasp's friend

was perched on my left nipple, and

had its lower jaw open wide, like the

Visitors just after they returned to

mother ship and prepared to snack

on mouse, and it was tilting its glance

ever so slightly up towards me.

 

Time froze.

 

There was only me and the wasp,

Ich and Du.

 

And the flutter of its tiny eyelashes

towards me above its poised mouth.

 

It gave me a loving sideglance,

and our hearts were one.

 

Then time started again, and

I heard myself proclaim a synonym

for number two since I had already

screamed the one for relations

a few moments ago.

 

My hand moved, and the wasp,

still living of course, shot up to

the clouds to join her friend

of a few moments earlier.

 

On the way back on the train

I felt my left chest hurt.

 

It still tingles a little now as

I write.

 

Then it struck me.

 

I'm a saint.

 

Mother Theresa helped thousands

of humans and was bathed in the

love.

 

I extended a hand of caring to the

forgotten, and was bitten on the

nipple by a wasp.

 

She bathed in love.

 

I bathe in ooze.

 

So I told this to my friends, making

comparisons when appropriate of

myself to Mother Theresa.

 

They told me that I'm lazy,

self-centered and am only a vege

person to agrandize myself and brag

about stories like the one I'm telling

you now.

 

So I have scars, a tingling nipple,

and now I've been humiliated too.

 

When there's a vege pope I will

be canonized.

 

There will be justice in the world.

 

The gentle will be rewarded.

 

My left nipple will hang from the

rear view mirrors of the faithful,

with a golden wasp perched on it.

 

I will be called Mother Bruno, and

will give hope to all.

 

Or perhaps Bruno Claus.

 

History will fill in the details.

 

I'm worth something too.

 

I participated in giving the

greatest gift of all!

 

I got bit and humiliated.

 

But who cares!

 

My reward was seeing the happy

wasp flying towards the clouds.

 

That's enough.

 

The day of the early vegetarians

will come.

 

We will be saints.

 

We will bless all and wipe

away the tears of the sad.

 

We're surrounded by killing

and hurt.

 

The face of McDeath stands

proudly on cement.

 

Our self esteem should be

infinite.

 

We've done enough to feel

happy about ourselves.

 

We should be proud..

 

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

It's true.

 

And I'm happy.

 

------------------

bruno_von_lederhosen

 

I posted about my wasp friends first

here... http://www.veganboard.com/ ) smile