The Mistake That PETA Made ^_^)

[Guest guest]

Hi vege friends from

my hometown! )/

 

It's me again! Your Bruno. )

 

My wasp bites are better

now.

 

But I'm worried about my

home companion Frisky.

 

I posted this to the Ani-PETA

club last night. )

 

Anti-PETA/

 

See you!

 

Love, your Bruno

 

-------------------

 

Hi meatatarian friends! )/

 

It's your evangelical

vegan friend Bruno again. ) smile

 

I thought I'd share something

with you!

 

That is ... if you've finished killing

Bambi and have a few moments

to spare before moving on to

Flipper. )

 

So please put the carving

knife down for a moment.

 

....

 

There, that's good. Thanks. )

 

So, I realized from your posts

that, to my pleasant surprise,

you are mostly sincere.

 

I expected drooling vipers

and slithering hyenas.

 

But I think you're no worse

than me.

 

You just have different ideas.

 

And a third grade education...

 

And you even love animals

and want to care for them

in the way you feel is proper.

 

Which is sometimes giving

them a nap on a bun.

 

So I feel I can talk with you

as fellow friends.

 

And I have a gift for you.

 

I found a mistake in PETA for

you.

 

It's a present from me, Bambi's

friend, to you, who feeds Bambi

to the Food Chain.

 

But the way!

 

That's a good way to discipline

children.

 

Behave Rusty or we'll feed

you to the Food Chain like

your brother Kurt. )

 

So to get back -- since I am

an evangelical vegan, I of

course love PETA.

 

But among their fine points

-- which are as vast as the

Mongolian plains blessed by

the morning sun while vegan,

grass-eating horses gallop

together towards the golden

horizon -- I think they've

made a boo boo.

 

Their site says:

 

To Neuter is Cuter.

 

http://petacatalog.com/peta/product.asp?dept%5Fid=

6 & pf%5Fid=BS390 & mscssid=

 

But cuter for who?

 

Frisky doesn't think it's

cute.

 

He wants his boo boo's.

 

So instead -- I disagree

with PETA and suggest

you ask your veterinarian

for a vasectomy!

 

Don't -- cut -- off --

Frisky's -- boo boo's!

 

Nine out of ten males

choose to keep their

boo boos.

 

The line in front of the

neutering clinic is very

short.

 

Would you like to be

neutered?

 

Neutering's Not Nice,

For Those You Slice.

 

That's my bumper sticker.

 

And by the way, I work

ten hours a day.

 

And I'm sometimes abused

at work.

 

The same as sad, unfortunate

circus animals.

 

But why protest the plight

of circus animals -- which

are sometimes only slightly

more abused than me -- and

then tell people to slice off

Frisky's joie's de vivre?

 

I could never look Frisky

in the eye and then do

that to him.

 

He wants his friskies.

 

Okay, I admit.

 

Frisky would be calmer

without them.

 

But I would be too!

 

That's the thing!

 

I don't want to be calm.

 

I want to raise heck.

 

And so does Frisky.

 

That's why he's frisky.

 

Every other evening, our

Frisky makes slow romance

with our plush beige sofa in

the middle of our living room.

 

It's so embarrassing.

 

And he sometimes glances over

towards us while experimenting

with new tantric secrets that

he's read about in Playpuppy.

 

Then after he's exhausted his

vital emotions, he reclines on

our carpet, lights a Gauloise,

and puffs smoke circles while

winking at our dinner guests'

wives.

 

The side of our sofa has had

so many romance stains, it

looks like the Weeping Wall

of Jerusalem.

 

The local Shinto shrine asked

if they could borrow it for their

fertility festival.

 

But still, rest assured Frisky!

 

You can have a vasectomy

like everyone else.

 

We'll never, never take

your friskies away.

 

We don't have that right.

 

They're yours.

 

If we try, dear friend Frisky,

please bite us again and

again and again.

 

Love, your Bruno

 

)/ wave wave!

[Guest guest]

> Hi vege friends from

> my hometown! )/

> It's me again! Your Bruno. )

> My wasp bites are better

> now.

<etc.>

 

OK, I have to retract my earlier suspicion that 'bruno von lederhosen' is a

teenaged boy with too much time on his hands, (s)he's too clever for that.

But I'm still flummoxed as to why anyone would take the time and trouble to

consistently communicate in this bizarre way!

 

Bruce

[Guest guest]

On Tue, 20 Aug 2002, Bruce Cannon wrote:

 

> > Hi vege friends from

> > my hometown! )/

> > It's me again! Your Bruno. )

> > My wasp bites are better

> > now.

> <etc.>

>

> OK, I have to retract my earlier suspicion that 'bruno von lederhosen' is a

> teenaged boy with too much time on his hands, (s)he's too clever for that.

> But I'm still flummoxed as to why anyone would take the time and trouble to

> consistently communicate in this bizarre way!

>

> Bruce

 

maybe our poet doesn't find his way bizarre- clearly, he or she is

*really* good and *very* funny. so i'll repeat that *i* think poetry gets

under people's skin in a way straight arguments and statistics can't.

hopefully we'll get to read more...> > >

>

>

> *To share a message with the group:

> *Got Questions? We got answers! See the SFBAVeg FAQ at

http://www.generationv.org/faq.htm

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, " Bruce Cannon " <brucecannon@a...> wrote:

> OK, I have to retract my earlier suspicion that 'bruno von

lederhosen' is a

> teenaged boy with too much time on his hands, (s)he's too clever

for that.

> But I'm still flummoxed as to why anyone would take the time and

trouble to

> consistently communicate in this bizarre way!

>

> Bruce

 

Thanks Cheryl! )/ yeah!

 

And Bruce,

 

I'm sorry about my English...

 

I studied at vegan schools.

 

We did the three R's. Reading,

Writing and Rabbit Rescue, but

it was hard to hear the English

teachers through their masks

and sunglasses.

 

We were good at math, though!

 

If you have 150 minks, 10 inches

tall each, and your wire cutters

are 2 inches long each, how many

times do you have to snip the

barbed wire fence before the

Department of Tobacco and

Firearms comes.

 

Practical math.

 

None of this new math stuff.

 

We had frequent guest lecturers

too.

 

I remember when Mr. Ed came.

 

Until then it had never quite

clicked for us before that a

horse actually is a horse is

a horse is a horse.

 

See you Bruce!

 

Love, your Bruno

 

)/ wave wave!