Turkey-Like Crap actually Ham-Like Crap

[Guest guest]

Dear Friends,

 

This is from today's installment of Mark Morford's column, The Morning Fix, on

sfgate, along with the original story from AP. While many people, for religious,

health, cultural, and other reasons, choose to eat certain animals while not

eating others, this story goes a long way in making the point that with

centralized industrial processing of animals, we don't always know what we're

eating. Please consider forwarding the set of articles to friends who abstain

from pig products or apply other strange and arbitrary rules on how they eat ( " I

don't eat red meat " etc.). Thanks so much.

 

Best,

Alka

 

 

**Turkey-Like Crap Actually Ham-Like Crap**

Kraft Foods Co. is recalling 12,600 pounds of " Oscar Mayer Lunchables,

Cracker Stackers, Lean Turkey Breast & White Turkey Cured " turkey lunch

kits because they contain ham, or something resembling some sort of

ham-like reconstituted meat substance, they think, though no one is

quite sure just what the hell is in those noxious Lunchable things,

basically an amalgam of leftover pulverized chemically blasted animal

carcass remnants and some rat feces and maybe some Cheez-Whiz aerosol

byproducts, with pretty much the entire Kraft company still rather

dumbfounded that anyone would actually put this Lunchables garbage into

their mouths in the first place, much less parents who buy it for their

increasingly obese and chemically saturated kids. The Avon, N.Y.-based

company notified government officials after it discovered the problem.

" If it says turkey but it looks sickeningly reddish-orange and tastes

vaguely like something made from pig entrails we scraped out of the

slaughterhouse air filters, it's probably the 'ham,' if you really want

to call it that, " one Kraft exec did not say, squirting Cheez Whiz

between his toes and moaning softly. " Also, our Kraft Lunchable

MegaPizza kit is actually hunks of precut lard-injected cardboard and

surplus industrial Dow sheep emetic we buy in bulk and make into a nice

red sauce. Shhhh. "

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2002/09/10/national2136EDT0845.DTL & \

nl=fix

 

Kraft Foods recalls turkey lunch kits containing ham

 

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

©2002 Associated Press

URL:

<http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2002/09/10/national2136EDT0845.DTL\

& nl=fix>

(09-10) 18:36 PDT WASHINGTON (AP) --

Kraft Foods Co. is recalling 12,600 pounds of turkey lunch kits because they

contain ham, the Agriculture Department announced Tuesday.

The Avon, N.Y.-based company notified government officials after it discovered

the problem.

The lunch kits under recall are 3.8-ounce and 6.75-ounce boxes of " Oscar Mayer

Lunchables, Cracker Stackers, Lean Turkey Breast & White Turkey Cured. " They

were made Aug. 11, and each box has the use-by-date code, " Nove 19 02 C EST. 537

L. " The kits also have an hour code between 16:31 and 19:55.

The product was distributed in stores in Florida, Georgia, Louisiana,

Massachusetts, Maryland, Maine, North Carolina, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New

York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Virginia and Wisconsin.

Consumers concerned about the misbranded lunch kits should return them to the

stores where they bought them, said Garry McKee, administrator for the USDA's

Food Safety and Inspection Service.

People with questions about the recall can call the toll-free Kraft Foods

Consumer Response & Information Center at 1-800-222-2323. Consumers with other

food safety questions can phone the toll-free USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline at

1-800-535-4555, which can be reached from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. EDT.