j. - This time, I’m really quitting cold turkey — and chicken, and steak …

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Friday February 22, 2008

 

This time, I’m really quitting cold turkey — and chicken, and steak …

 

by dan pine

j. staff writer

 

I was 19 and on the road. Just me and my 1968 VW bug on that ribbon of

highway from sea to shining sea. One’s first blush of youthful freedom

requires a road trip, and this was mine.

 

Early autumn sunlight slanted through the cornfields as I cruised a

country lane near Mason City, Iowa. Suddenly I slowed to get a look at

the Iowa Turkey Company, housed in an old barn the size of a jet hangar.

 

This was busy season. Through its open doors I saw an endless line of

birds, hung upside-down like dresses at a dry cleaners, wheeling slowly

on a conveyor toward death and America’s Thanksgiving tables.

 

In his rubber apron, a workman methodically grabbed the neck of every

turkey, then thrust a metal pick into each. With a final reflexive shrug

of the wings, bird after bird gave up the ghost.

 

It was an avian version of a Heironymus Bosch painting. After 10 minutes

of watching in disgust, I swore I would never eat meat again.

 

And I didn’t. I declared myself a vegetarian, and for two years I cooked

meatless recipes from “Diet for a Small Planet.” I invented luscious

casseroles of barley, beans and veggies. For two years, no turkey had to

die for my sake.

 

Eventually I caved, and though overall I still try not to eat too much

red meat, I haven’t been a vegetarian since.

 

I feel guilty about that, and with global environmental decay the issue

of our time, I feel even guiltier.

 

Not surprisingly, Judaism has plenty to say on the subject.

 

The concept of tsa’ar ba’alei chaim –– the obligation not to cause

sorrow to animals –– is a cornerstone of kashrut. The fifth commandment

demands animals rest on Shabbat, just as we do. Even Maimonides weighed

in, saying the pain of humans and of animals are the same.

 

Yet society cares little. We all know the horrors of factory farming in

this fast food nation, where up to seven hens are crammed into

shoebox-size cages, their beaks snipped at birth to prevent fatal pecking.

 

Once while driving past that sprawling cattle ranch on I-5, I glanced at

the thousands of bovines standing together in their own manure, the

abattoir smoking in the distance. On the spot I renamed the place

“Cowschwitz.”

 

Even kashrut, which emphasizes humane treatment of cattle and poultry,

is not failsafe. Abuses occur, and not even the best shochet can promise

happy lives for animals destined for the slaughterhouse.

 

It amazes me that so many people, myself included, turn a blind eye to

the suffering of animals fated to become our food. Factor in

deforestation, shrinking aquifers and other kinds of eco-degradation

caused by ranching and factory faming –– not to mention what that steak

does to your arteries –– and the conclusion is obvious: We should all be

vegetarians.

 

These days you can buy tofu hot dogs, tofu ground meat, even tofu

McNuggets. There’s no shortage of year-round vegetables, grains and

legumes. Going meatless is easy.

 

Bottom line: There’s no justifying meat eating with excuses like “It

tastes good,” or “Humans are supposed to eat meat” or “I need the

protein.” I have no excuses, Jewish or otherwise.

 

As the saying goes, “Would you kill your dinner?” My answer is: God, no.

 

This all reminds me of the old quandary: Am I a “good Jew” or not? I

already fret that I don’t read Torah enough. I don’t pray enough. I

don’t believe enough.

 

Plenty of rabbis –– even Orthodox rabbis –– have assured me that it’s

OK. Even baby steps, one mitzvah at a time, is fine. That assuages the

guilt somewhat. But when it comes to animal abuse and a ruined

ecosystem, baby steps may not be enough.

 

So I’m gonna do it. I’m quitting meat. For good. It’s my personal

statement about repairing the world. It’s about being able to look a

turkey –– a live turkey –– in the eye. And as for that “good Jew” stuff,

it’s also about being able to claim I keep kosher.

 

That’s it. Here goes. Goodbye, cruel diet.

 

Gulp.

 

 

*Dan Pine* can be reached at dan