Veg diplomacy during communal feasts

[Guest guest]

Communal holiday feasts to fit all diets

Katherine Seligman

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Chaya Ryvka Diehl, a raw food private chef and kitchen supervisor for Cafe

Gratitude, often brings an uncooked dessert to holiday meals and impresses even

the carnivores. She never flaunts her diet, though it can prompt a lively

discussion.

" Sometimes it's not the most fun conversation, " she said. " People want to know

what I do and what I'd eat in this or that situation. The skeptics think you

need meat to be healthy and to drink milk for calcium. "

During the holiday meal, Diehl hopes the meat doesn't come to rest in front of

her, but is happy to pass it along to the next person. " Each person is in their

own place, " she said. " I'm not going to eat the turkey, but it's OK if you do. "

What some call the " mixed-diet table " is the norm these days in the Bay Area,

home to perhaps the country's most diverse group of eaters. If 20 years ago

vegetarians sat down comfortably at the mainstream table, today's guests are

likely to acknowledge that they're members of every dining splinter - vegan, raw

food-ist, locavore, flexitarian, pescatarian, lacto-ovo vegetarian, organic

fanatic, allergic to gluten, nuts or lactose.

A new generation of eaters, with more access than ever to information through

the Internet, farmers' markets and cooking shows, has become educated and

emboldened. Its members know what they want. And they have more choices.

But that does not dispel fear of judgment at holiday dinners, which, to some,

can feel like food interventions. There are staunch vegetarians who can't stand

to be around meat and meat eaters who equate vegetarians and vegans with food

police.

Holidays can be stressful anyway, psychologists warn. Problems that might appear

minor at other times can escalate. Bringing a Celebration Roast to your parents'

house may seem like an act of hostility instead of a mere attempt to provide a

vegetarian alternative.

One San Francisco emigrant, a mostly vegetarian who lives on the East Coast and

visits her Midwestern family on Thanksgiving, gripes privately about the

casseroles made from frozen shrimp and cream of mushroom soup, the " vegetable

oil from some unspecified vegetable " poured on everything, including the turkey,

and the creme de menthe pie that tastes like toothpaste.

" It's so unfood-like, " she said, requesting anonymity because she doesn't want

to offend her relatives, who are quick to raise their eyebrows at her grainy

diet. Instead, she adds and eats her own creations. " I try to tip the scale the

other way, " she said, " by making things with unlimited nuts, leaves and roots. "

Supplying a dish you can eat, as long as you ask the host ahead of time, is one

suggestion even offered by the Emily Post Institute. Some hosts, though, say

they don't alter the menu and expect their picky guests, like the children they

raised to try anything, to figure out what they can eat.

But others turn to the growing list of online recipes and resources aimed at

" vegetarian diplomacy " or at meat eaters trying to survive a no-flesh feast.

Meat Eaters for Vegetarianism, for example, started by a carnivore outnumbered

by his " veg head " friends, gives tips to " help meat eaters navigate the

sometimes complicated and scary world of vegetarianism. "

Abigail Young, associate editor of VegNews Magazine in San Francisco, said her

mostly meat-eating family is understanding when she visits Missouri for

Christmas. " Veganism first seemed drastic to them, " she said. " Some family

members thought it was a phase, but now they say, 'OK, she's serious, this is

here to stay.' "

Young said she helps cook so there will be options for her. Last Christmas, her

85-year-old grandmother " veganized " for her by substituting flax for eggs. About

3 percent of those responding to a Harris Poll this year identified themselves

as vegetarian, an increase from 2.3 percent in a similar poll taken in 2006.

Close to twice as many women as men reported they didn't eat meat.

It's much harder to estimate the percentage of people who only occasionally eat

meat, eat raw food or follow other dictates. But local foodies, cooks and

purveyors of specialty foods say the demand for variety at holidays keeps

growing.

The vegetarians have an entire freezer section at San Francisco's Rainbow

Grocery Coop during the holidays filled with fake meats, from the Tofurky Feast

to the 6-pound Vegetarian Plus roast. ( " It's so big it scares the vegetarians, "

said one store buyer). The meat eaters have can buy classic Butterball, free

range, organic, heritage or local birds.

Ann Evans, a consultant on food and agriculture and a former mayor of Davis who

co-heads Slow Food Yolo, said she always offers vegetarian dishes at

Thanksgiving and Christmas. Although she and her husband eat meat, her daughter

doesn't, and her nieces are intermittently vegan.

" I like people to know where it comes from and what's in it, the story of what's

on the plate and the hands that brought it to them, " Evans said. " I know where

most of my food comes from. I know who raises the bird. "

Varya Simpson, a San Francisco lawyer, buys a roasted Thanksgiving turkey for

her meat-eating guests even though she, her husband and children are vegetarian.

Her only request: that they take the carcass home.

" In my experience, there is very little animosity between people who have

different dietary habits, " said Sasha Wizansky, an artist whose interest in the

issues surrounding meat inspired her to found Meatpaper magazine. " We've all

become accustomed to people with different requirements. "

More and more, some of those requirements include food allergies.

Camie Bontaites of Berkeley keeps a handwritten list of her loved ones' dietary

needs taped to her refrigerator. She frequently has to cross out items and make

amendments.

" I started the list when a friend of mine told us all the things he was allergic

to - chickpeas, sesame seeds, chicken, " she said. " So I started writing those

things down. My friend Matt hated olives. My brother can tell if there's been

one pepper in anything. He hates the taste. But now Matt likes olives. And our

friend Sarah is allergic to chocolate. "

Bontaites herself is omnivorous, but her husband is lactose intolerant and

vegetarian, except around exceptionally good meat. He usually eats the turkey at

Thanksgiving dinner, held with her relatives on the East Coast, who tolerate his

mostly vegetarian diet.

" Vegan or raw might elicit some looks, " she said. " But non-meat-eating, they

seem to roll with that. " --

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/11/01/CMUC19VORR.DTL

This article appeared on page P - 13 of the San Francisco Chronicle