Canine. It´s what´s for dinner.

[Guest guest]

[American Chronicle]We pride ourselves on our devotion to the principle of equality herein the United States, so it´s time to put our values where our mouthsare, so to speak. Pigs, chickens, cows, and the like already endureabject suffering so we can consume their flesh, so it is only fairthat we include "man´s best friend." How could they better prove theirdeep loyalty to us than by sacrificing their lives to feed us?There is plenty of room on our plates to accommodate a few slices ofLassie. Even here in our resource-hog of a nation people experiencehunger. Why not run a hundred million or so Rovers through the meatindustrial complex each year? We have no reservations about torturingand slaughtering billions of other sentient beings to satiate our lustfor meat. Research has indicated that pigs are actually moreintelligent than dogs and thus would be more conscious of theirmisery. So there is no valid moral

objection.Our capacity to immunize ourselves from conscience and compassion aswe greedily devour the flesh of non-human animals (who experiencedpain beyond the scope of our imaginations so that we might savor theircooked remains) will serve us well if we implement this solution tothe problem of hunger (both here and abroad). In some nations, dogmeat is already prized as a delicacy, so we´d be in for a real treat!...Once a dog has been appropriately aged and fattened to maximize tasteand profit, we will load it onto a ventilated truck packed with asmany dogs as possible without causing significant numbers of deaths bytrampling or asphyxiation. Handlers will be trained to beatuncooperative dogs into submission with heavy steel rods. Or for thoseworkers who have "bleeding hearts," they can humanely stick electriccattle prods into the dogs´ rectums.Upon arrival at the slaughter facility, the dogs who haven´t

frozen todeath or died of heat exhaustion, thirst, or suffocation will beman-handled off the truck (so as to keep them submissive) and forcedto the kill floor. "Downers" (dogs too injured or sick to walk) willbe dragged to their deaths. Euthanizing dying dogs will be out of thequestion because then we could not legally sell their flesh forconsumption....After our former best friends are dead, bled, gutted, boned, slicedand diced, their tasty flesh will be coming to a supermarket orrestaurant near you. Let´s put this plan in motion and make themythical "man bites dog" story a reality!Inspired by Jonathan Swift, this animal liberationist and vegetarianessayist is dedicating the above satirical piece to the AnimalLiberation Front and their courageous efforts in the face of theapathy, ignorance, and savagery of rampant and deeply ingrainedspeciesism. The ALF has been labeled as a "terrorist" organization

bya system and society that value property, profit, and the humancomfort of a relative few over most non-human animals and many humanbeings. This essayist and social activist fully supports and endorsesthe actions of the ALF as long as they don´t take human or non-humananimal lives. As founder and editor of Thomas Paine´s Corner, heoffers his little piece of real estate on the Internet to the ALFwhenever they need a place to communicate with the world. And come tothink of it, since they are an underground operation operating incells of a few people, this agitator could be a part of the ALF. Butwe´ll leave that for the FBI, ATF, NSA, DHS, or the rest of thealphabet soup of agencies protecting our rights as Americans to determine.]Jason Miller is a recovering US American middle class suburbanite whostrives to remain intellectually free. He is Cyrano´s Journal Online´sassociate editor (http://www.bestcyrano.org/) and publishes ThomasPaine´s Corner within Cyrano´s athttp://www.bestcyrano.org/THOMASPAINE/. You can reach him atJMiller-- full story:http://www.americanchronicle.com/articles/50179 The question is not,Can they reason? nor,Can they talk? but,Can they suffer? Jeremy Bentham