PETA encourages fake-a-tarians

[Guest guest]

WTF? I had NO IDEA there were all these "ians" who still eat meat!!!!

 

 

 

I’ve had all I can stand, and I can’t stands no more! This columnist just won’t let one more fake-a-tarian slide without a serious grilling. Yes, the fake-a-tarians—you know, people who say they are “vegetarian” and still eat meat. Believe me, they are legion, and for the most part, very young. I am not sure who or what decided that only red meat was “meat,” but in my grandmama’s greased up 1938 Good Housekeeping cookbook of fluffy lard biscuit love; shellfish, turkey, and chicken are in the meat section. Claiming “vegetarian” status doesn’t seem to hold its weight as a carefully measured lifestyle, but instead, is increasingly a pop-culture statement putting the world on notice that you are part of the green generation. Now, if these wayward vegetarians are confused about what meat is, maybe it isn’t their fault entirely. Not only are there myriad subsets of vegetable-cosuming “ians,” but organized vegetarian lust for

neophyte herbivores has led them to employ scare tactics that would make Bela Legosi pale.

How can you eat meat and call yourself a vegetarian? First, let’s back up and look at some of the vegetarian subsets. There are (among others) vegans, raw foodists, fruitarians, pescetarians, pollotarians, gravitarians, semi-vegetarians, ovo-vegetarians and my personal favorites, flexitarians and lessetarians; or those that more or less consume meat when they want and still get an –ian so they can sleep at night. However, it is the pescetarians (or pesco-tarians) at the heart of the controversy. According to Wikipedia and verified by yours truly, some entities do indeed consider the pescetarian diet to be a valid vegetarian diet, including MedicineOnline.com, Vegetarian.LifeTips.com, and the Centre for Cancer Education.

How is this possible? Fish is meat! How is it not meat? Fish don’t drink chlorophyll! I can’t plant salmon, I can’t water tilapia, and miracle-grow doesn’t make fish food.

Now, I doubt these confused souls who think vegetarians can eat meat are really finding solace on Medicine Online’s Web site to ease pangs of guilt about making vegetarian claims while stuffing their craws with mahi-mahi, but maybe they are scared into faux vegetarianism by PETA, whose Web Site www.GoVeg.com gives some, well…stark reasons to become a vegetarian. Here are a few:

 

Because eating meat and dairy products makes you fat. Because in every package of chicken, there’s a little poop. Because meat is filthy and bloody. Because eating meat and dairy products causes impotence. Because you can’t eat meat and call yourself an environmentalist.

Well, if I am a young progressive chap, I certainly don’t want to be a fat, filthy, impotent, poop-eating enemy of the environment that promotes slavery and eats corpses! Maybe some of these fake-a-tarians are too scared to NOT be vegetarian so they look for any loophole that allows them to enjoy some dead bloody flesh and be an environmentalist.

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually admire the perseverance and lifestyle of true vegetarians and fully support PETA’s mission(s), if their tactics might rub me the wrong way from time to time. In many ways, I wish I had the fortitude to become a vegetarian, and on hindsight, wish I hadn’t stuffed my colon with enough BBQ to warrant purchasing stock in Maull’s. However, if you eat meat, you’re just not a vegetarian, no matter how you slice it. Instead of scaring people into squeezing carnivore pegs in herbivore holes, maybe PETA would do well to start a worldwide amnesty program to forgive us sinners of the flesh, and ease us into the vegetarian fold gently instead of using shock tactics that only raise defensive shields.

You can e-mail Lucas Hudson at lucashudson.

 

 

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I’ve had all I can stand, and I can’t stands no more! This columnist just won’t let one more fake-a-tarian slide without a serious grilling. Yes, the fake-a-tarians—you know, people who say they are “vegetarian” and still eat meat. Believe me, they are legion, and for the most part, very young. I am not sure who or what decided that only red meat was “meat,” but in my grandmama’s greased up 1938 Good Housekeeping cookbook of fluffy lard biscuit love; shellfish, turkey, and chicken are in the meat section. Claiming “vegetarian” status doesn’t seem to hold its weight as a carefully measured lifestyle, but instead, is increasingly a pop-culture statement putting the world on notice that you are part of the green generation. Now, if these wayward vegetarians are confused about what meat is, maybe it isn’t their fault entirely. Not only are there myriad subsets of vegetable-cosuming “ians,” but organized vegetarian lust for

neophyte herbivores has led them to employ scare tactics that would make Bela Legosi pale.

How can you eat meat and call yourself a vegetarian? First, let’s back up and look at some of the vegetarian subsets. There are (among others) vegans, raw foodists, fruitarians, pescetarians, pollotarians, gravitarians, semi-vegetarians, ovo-vegetarians and my personal favorites, flexitarians and lessetarians; or those that more or less consume meat when they want and still get an –ian so they can sleep at night. However, it is the pescetarians (or pesco-tarians) at the heart of the controversy. According to Wikipedia and verified by yours truly, some entities do indeed consider the pescetarian diet to be a valid vegetarian diet, including MedicineOnline.com, Vegetarian.LifeTips.com, and the Centre for Cancer Education.

How is this possible? Fish is meat! How is it not meat? Fish don’t drink chlorophyll! I can’t plant salmon, I can’t water tilapia, and miracle-grow doesn’t make fish food.

Now, I doubt these confused souls who think vegetarians can eat meat are really finding solace on Medicine Online’s Web site to ease pangs of guilt about making vegetarian claims while stuffing their craws with mahi-mahi, but maybe they are scared into faux vegetarianism by PETA, whose Web Site www.GoVeg.com gives some, well…stark reasons to become a vegetarian. Here are a few:

 

Because eating meat and dairy products makes you fat. Because in every package of chicken, there’s a little poop. Because meat is filthy and bloody. Because eating meat and dairy products causes impotence. Because you can’t eat meat and call yourself an environmentalist.

Well, if I am a young progressive chap, I certainly don’t want to be a fat, filthy, impotent, poop-eating enemy of the environment that promotes slavery and eats corpses! Maybe some of these fake-a-tarians are too scared to NOT be vegetarian so they look for any loophole that allows them to enjoy some dead bloody flesh and be an environmentalist.

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually admire the perseverance and lifestyle of true vegetarians and fully support PETA’s mission(s), if their tactics might rub me the wrong way from time to time. In many ways, I wish I had the fortitude to become a vegetarian, and on hindsight, wish I hadn’t stuffed my colon with enough BBQ to warrant purchasing stock in Maull’s. However, if you eat meat, you’re just not a vegetarian, no matter how you slice it. Instead of scaring people into squeezing carnivore pegs in herbivore holes, maybe PETA would do well to start a worldwide amnesty program to forgive us sinners of the flesh, and ease us into the vegetarian fold gently instead of using shock tactics that only raise defensive shields.

You can e-mail Lucas Hudson at lucashudson.

 

 

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Think occasionally of the suffering of which you spare yourself the sight - Albert Schweitzer

[Guest guest]

I would like to offer some "food for thought"-truly no pun intended. I have not read statements from PETA but, will look at their website to view what they have actually said about flexitarians. However, if they are applauding and encouraging people to consume less meat, eggs, and dairy....I am behind them 100%.

 

I believe what we are grappling with is the abolitionist vs the welfarist concept of the vegetarian and Vegan movement. We are making gains albeit too slowly for most of us. Many of our fellow peers are suggesting, and I agree, that we need a paradigm shift. If we only see black and white regarding what constitutes a semi-vegatarian, we will lose those who might consider going meatless for one or two dinners and then decide maybe it is not as "weird" as they thought and open up their hearts, minds and palates to more vegetarian fare.

 

To further support the big umbrella concept, I would like to bring to everyone's attention that Hellman has just come out with a cholesterol free mayonnaise. There are trace amounts of egg yolk and eggs in this new recipe. This is a product that is usually laden with egg yolks in which many chickens (most likely caged) have been forced to produce and then slaughtered. But, what was shocking is that a meat based magazine, Cook's Illustrated, tested it in their kitchen and gave it a thumbs up in this month's issue. This magazine and cooking show (American's Test Kitchen) almost always uses meat or meat products in their recipes and are finicky foodies.

 

So, flexitarians, pescetarians, etc., are most welcome to me. I encourage everyone to give up as much meat, dairy, and eggs as possible. Each time people do....it saves lives, the animal's. I don't want to chide and embarrass those who claim to be vegetarian. I can certainly understand and empathize with those who find it upsetting that individuals who eat meat call themselves vegetarians but, it would be more upsetting to me if, by insulting people, they decided to chuck it and go back to eating meat.

 

Sincerely,

 

Marilyn M.