need help or suggestions

August 17, 2006

I would have just said "I'm sorry, I don't eat meat." I think the rudeness was on the part of your hosts, who knew you were vegetarian and ignored that fact. If you had food allergies or ate kosher, they would never expect you to eat their food anyway. I would be especially careful the next time you visit, as you have established the unfortunate precedent that you will eat meat if it's the only thing available. Maybe the next time you chit chat or write to them, you can indicate "Well, I certainly learned my lesson letting myself eat the meat in those bell peppers! It was a delicious meal, but my stomach was upset for days. I guess my system's just not used to meat anymore. I'll be more careful in the future." I know what you mean about stomach upset, too. I accidentally ate a meat sauce in a darkened Italian restaurant years ago, and I felt like I had a knife twisting its way

through my intestine for several days. Ugh. Sharon shadowedorchid <shadowedorchid wrote: Hi all, I was hoping you might have some suggestions. I travelled to North Carolina to visit some friends recently, friends who knew I was vegetarian. When I arrived, my friend Bill said that his wife was making stuffed peppers for dinner, and was that ok. I said of course, not even realizing to ask whether they'd be vegetarian (i had just

driven 9 hours in a car without air-conditioning during the really hot spell). They turned out to be turkey, and the hostess asked me "whether or not it would kill me to eat them". I said no, to be polite, and I did manage to eat what was served, but I was kind of horrified, and had a horrible stomach ache for the rest of the night. I have been vegetarian for three year, vegan for two of that. My the hostess had been my roommate for a year and a half during the time I became vegetarian. I just didn't know what to think or say. I don't want to be rude, but I can't ever let that happen to me again. How do I be polite & gracious, but stand up for myself? I probably should have reiterated my food needs prior to this trip, but I have visited once before, and they went out of their way to roast vegetables on the grill for me on that occasion, and I just assumed they would know. Any suggestions would be kindly

appreiated. Thanks, Tina

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August 18, 2006

So sorry you had this struggle. It is a process to develop techniques you are

comfortable with to deal with these issues. You are not alone, many people with

" food issues " have had similar experiences. I just expect my friends may forget

my eating preferences and needs, just as I sometimes forget details of their

lives. Because it is important to me, I remind them. Personally, I dislike

asking

for people to make accomodations for me, so I will ask if I can either bring

food/meal to share or suggest they cook as they normally would for their family

and I will enjoy what works for me and fill in the gaps with food I bring. My

goal is

to enjoy my time with friends, being prepared makes this possible. Best of

luck!

Laurie

, " shadowedorchid "

<shadowedorchid wrote:

>

> I was hoping you might have some suggestions. I travelled to North

> Carolina to visit some friends recently, friends who knew I was

> vegetarian. When I arrived, my friend Bill said that his wife was

> making stuffed peppers for dinner, and was that ok. I said of course,

> not even realizing to ask whether they'd be vegetarian (i had just

> driven 9 hours in a car without air-conditioning during the really hot

> spell). They turned out to be turkey, and the hostess asked

> me " whether or not it would kill me to eat them " . I said no, to be

> polite, and I did manage to eat what was served, but I was kind of

> horrified, and had a horrible stomach ache for the rest of the night.

> I have been vegetarian for three year, vegan for two of that. My the

> hostess had been my roommate for a year and a half during the time I

> became vegetarian. I just didn't know what to think or say. I don't

> want to be rude, but I can't ever let that happen to me again. How do

> I be polite & gracious, but stand up for myself? I probably should

> have reiterated my food needs prior to this trip, but I have visited

> once before, and they went out of their way to roast vegetables on the

> grill for me on that occasion, and I just assumed they would know. Any

> suggestions would be kindly appreiated. Thanks, Tina

>

August 20, 2006

Yes, I've been a vegetarian (lacto-octo) for 30 years. I travel often and bring

protien

alternatives with me. Keto protien shake, a lower sugar protien bar or soy nuts

have been life

savers. I've become very clear about not eating meat at the homes of other

people. No, it

won't probably kill you, but it really isn't logical or worth feeling sick for a

day. In such a

case I would politely decline (I've found there is no need to make a stand or

grand statement)

simply saying that eating the peppers would make me pretty sick, and that I'll

be happy to eat

the salad or whatever else was accompanying the meal. Then I'd probably have a

protien

alternative later.

I was raised to be polite when visiting another's home and eat what is offered.

But, because I

travel so much and eat with others often, I try to let them know I'm vegetarian,

and hope (but

don't expect) them to accomidate me. Then they know, and I'm prepared.

This might not work as well when doing step 3 and trying to start and stop each

meal

regularly, because I might have my protien later. Tossing some soy nuts or soy

cheese on a

salad would be an one way to address that issue.

August 21, 2006

I think if someone asked me if it would " kill me " to eat something,

I'd say " I don't know, but I don't think I want to find out.... "

Suggestions:

If you go there again, take food with you. That way, if they spring

this on you again, you can just say, " Oh, its OK, I always bring my

own food, just in case. We'll just enjoy each others' company. " And

then get your food out and eat it while they're eating theirs.

When you're there, take them out for a meal.... if you're paying, you

get to pick the place, and decide what you order.

You may wish to reconsider going someplace where they're that

inconsiderate of your needs and wishes.

Best wishes,

Pati in Texas

, " shadowedorchid "

<shadowedorchid wrote:

>

> Hi all,