Where Do You Get Your Calcium? A Play in One Act.

[Guest guest]

Thursday, 9 Nov 2000 16:30:49 -0400

" Michael Greger, MD " <vegan

Vegan street theatre--a cute skit about calcium.

:

:

 

 

Hi Maynard. Every time I speak I get the damned calcium/osteoporosis

question. So in rehearsing a good canned response to it I decided to write

a play.

 

I wanted to share it with everybody by sending it to some national veg

listservs, but I don't know which ones would be most appropriate. Do you

have any suggestions as to how I'd get this out to everyone that might be

interested in it?

 

Thanks,

Michael

 

 

Where Do You Get Your Calcium? A Play in One Act.

by Michael Greger, MD <mhg1 www.upalumni.org/medschool

 

Characters:

 

Narrator

Bartender

Guy off the street

 

Scene: Bartender in empty pub wiping bar with rag:

 

Narrator: " The number one source of calcium in the American diet is

milk. The number one source of saturated fat in the American diet is also

milk. It all depends on what you want with your calcium. "

 

(Guy off the street enters stage right; sits down on bar stool.)

 

Guy: " I'd like some calcium, please. "

 

Bartender: " How do you want it? "

 

Guy: " Straight up. "

 

Bartender: " Sorry, sir, we don't have any straight calcium, it all comes

premixed. "

(Bartender goes back to wiping with his little bar rag)

 

Guy: " Well how do most people take it? "

 

(Bartender sighs and takes out some milk (maybe in a black and white

" cow " spotted pitcher) and a glass)

 

Bartender: " Most people take it this way (He starts slowing pouring)

where it comes premixed with saturated fat and cholesterol. And

antibiotics and pesticides and paratuberculosis and pus... "

 

Guy: (Obviously distraught) " Pus! Is there any way I can get my calcium

without the pus?! "

 

(Bartender stops pouring)

Bartender: (Quizzically) " No pus? "

 

Guy: " No pus. "

 

Bartender: " D'ya want the pus on the side? "

 

Guy: " No pus at all! "

 

Bartender: " Well, we do have calcium in dark green leafies--collard

greens, kale,... "

 

Guy: (Hesitantly) " Well what does that come with? "

 

Bartender: " Well, green leafy vegetables are probably among the most

nutritious things on the planet. In them the calcium comes premixed with

fiber and vitamin A and vitamin K and antioxidants and... "

 

Guy: (Pointing an accusing finger) " Pus? "

 

Bartender: " No pus. "

 

Guy: " Well, all right. But I'm not really a vegetable kinda guy, is there

anything else? "

 

Bartender: " Calcium fortified orange juice. "

 

Guy: " Yeah? "

 

Bartender: " The calcium comes with vitamin C, potassium, folate, all with

this kinda orangy finish. "

 

Guy: (Eyebrows up) " Really? "

 

Bartender: " D'ya want one? "

 

Guy: " Nah, I was really kinda hopin' to have somethin' on my cereal. "

 

Bartender: (Now frustrated) " All right. " (Bartender brings a carton down

hard on the bar) " Fortified soy milk--iron, isoflavones, soy protein,

phytochemicals--what d'ya say? "

 

Guy: (Suspiciously) " Any cholesterol "

Bartender: " Sorry. "

 

Guy: " Antibiotics? "

 

Bartender: " Nope. "

 

Guy: " Pesticides? "

 

Bartender: " Nope. " (Guy starts pointing a finger) " And no pus. "

 

Guy: " I'll take it! "

 

(Bartender starts pouring into a bowel and keeps talking, fading away as

curtain closes)

 

Bartender: " Want some nuts? We got almonds, brazil nuts, sesame

seeds... Got some figs too... Have you tried our pinto bean dip?... "

 

--

------

HEART FAILURE

Diary of a Third Year Medical Student

 

Full text now available free at http://upalumni.org/medschool

 

Michael Greger, MD 185 South Street #6

(617) 524-8064 Jamaica Plain, MA 02130

 

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

That would be SUCH a great ad or commercial for soymilk products versus milk and

cheese products! I can totally see it play out in my mind.

Maybe one of us should try and produce it. Propose it to a soy company as a

potental commercial! Soy companies need to advertise, after all we are bombarded

with all those stupid milk and cheese commercials and ads alll the time. They

are full of misinformation about calcium needs and requirements and benefits. I

never see ads for soymilk or almond milk on tv. This commercial would cetainly

shake things up!

Peace,

Bliss.

 

Vegetarian Resource Center <vrc

Thu, 09 Nov 2000 16:18:32 -0500

(Recipient list suppressed)

Where Do You Get Your Calcium? A Play in One Act.

 

 

> Thursday, 9 Nov 2000 16:30:49 -0400

> " Michael Greger, MD " <vegan

> Vegan street theatre--a cute skit about calcium.

> :

> :

>

>

> Hi Maynard. Every time I speak I get the damned calcium/osteoporosis

> question. So in rehearsing a good canned response to it I decided to write

> a play.

>

> I wanted to share it with everybody by sending it to some national veg

> listservs, but I don't know which ones would be most appropriate. Do you

> have any suggestions as to how I'd get this out to everyone that might be

> interested in it?

>

> Thanks,

> Michael

>

>

> Where Do You Get Your Calcium? A Play in One Act.

> by Michael Greger, MD <mhg1 www.upalumni.org/medschool

>

> Characters:

>

> Narrator

> Bartender

> Guy off the street

>

> Scene: Bartender in empty pub wiping bar with rag:

>

> Narrator: " The number one source of calcium in the American diet is

> milk. The number one source of saturated fat in the American diet is also

> milk. It all depends on what you want with your calcium. "

>

> (Guy off the street enters stage right; sits down on bar stool.)

>

> Guy: " I'd like some calcium, please. "

>

> Bartender: " How do you want it? "

>

> Guy: " Straight up. "

>

> Bartender: " Sorry, sir, we don't have any straight calcium, it all comes

> premixed. "

> (Bartender goes back to wiping with his little bar rag)

>

> Guy: " Well how do most people take it? "

>

> (Bartender sighs and takes out some milk (maybe in a black and white

> " cow " spotted pitcher) and a glass)

>

> Bartender: " Most people take it this way (He starts slowing pouring)

> where it comes premixed with saturated fat and cholesterol. And

> antibiotics and pesticides and paratuberculosis and pus... "

>

> Guy: (Obviously distraught) " Pus! Is there any way I can get my calcium

> without the pus?! "

>

> (Bartender stops pouring)

> Bartender: (Quizzically) " No pus? "

>

> Guy: " No pus. "

>

> Bartender: " D'ya want the pus on the side? "

>

> Guy: " No pus at all! "

>

> Bartender: " Well, we do have calcium in dark green leafies--collard

> greens, kale,... "

>

> Guy: (Hesitantly) " Well what does that come with? "

>

> Bartender: " Well, green leafy vegetables are probably among the most

> nutritious things on the planet. In them the calcium comes premixed with

> fiber and vitamin A and vitamin K and antioxidants and... "

>

> Guy: (Pointing an accusing finger) " Pus? "

>

> Bartender: " No pus. "

>

> Guy: " Well, all right. But I'm not really a vegetable kinda guy, is there

> anything else? "

>

> Bartender: " Calcium fortified orange juice. "

>

> Guy: " Yeah? "

>

> Bartender: " The calcium comes with vitamin C, potassium, folate, all with

> this kinda orangy finish. "

>

> Guy: (Eyebrows up) " Really? "

>

> Bartender: " D'ya want one? "

>

> Guy: " Nah, I was really kinda hopin' to have somethin' on my cereal. "

>

> Bartender: (Now frustrated) " All right. " (Bartender brings a carton down

> hard on the bar) " Fortified soy milk--iron, isoflavones, soy protein,

> phytochemicals--what d'ya say? "

>

> Guy: (Suspiciously) " Any cholesterol "

> Bartender: " Sorry. "

>

> Guy: " Antibiotics? "

>

> Bartender: " Nope. "

>

> Guy: " Pesticides? "

>

> Bartender: " Nope. " (Guy starts pointing a finger) " And no pus. "

>

> Guy: " I'll take it! "

>

> (Bartender starts pouring into a bowel and keeps talking, fading away as

> curtain closes)

>

> Bartender: " Want some nuts? We got almonds, brazil nuts, sesame

> seeds... Got some figs too... Have you tried our pinto bean dip?... "

>

> --

> ------

> HEART FAILURE

> Diary of a Third Year Medical Student

>

> Full text now available free at http://upalumni.org/medschool

>

> Michael Greger, MD 185 South Street #6

> (617) 524-8064 Jamaica Plain, MA 02130

>

>

>

>