Guest guest Posted April 27, 2002 Report Share Posted April 27, 2002 http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html > > Oliver Slay [oliver] > > have you ever been to an 'anger management' workshop? > alternatively look it > up on the internet... > > > > > > djules_75 [djules_75] > > > > superficiality vegans about? I've been brought up to be and am good > > at being nice to people, but I'm getting sick of it. > > > > Jules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 It doesn't make me angry when people say 'nice to meet you' i just find it unreasonable, unemotional, illogical and robotic, and I don't have a problem with people saying it, I'm just wondering if they'd have a problem with me saying 'not really' or 'is it?' in reply. Whats a literalist? , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > you do mean 'meet' don't you?.... or was that just a Freisian slip? :-) > > you're right... it's a superficial concern... (i used to be a literalist > too..) > > the deeper concern might be why you are getting sick of being nice to > people... > > have you ever been to an 'anger management' workshop? alternatively look it > up on the internet... > > > > > > djules_75 [djules_75] > > > > On various instances i have met people through other people and they > > have said 'nice to meat you', a memorised expression that often goes > > <snip> > > Is an answer of 'not really' too harsh? or are there pro - > > superficiality vegans about? I've been brought up to be and am good > > at being nice to people, but I'm getting sick of it. > > > > Jules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > you do mean 'meet' don't you?.... or was that just a Freisian slip? :-) > Yeah I meant 'meet'. Did you mean 'Freudian'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 no i meant Freisian ... a play on Freudian ... Freisian being a type of cow .... a play on your slip-up being 'meat' ... with " Freisian slip " i therefore meant 'accidentally replacing a normal word with a dead animal word'... > > djules_75 [djules_75] > > , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > > you do mean 'meet' don't you?.... or was that just a Freisian > slip? :-) > > > Yeah I meant 'meet'. Did you mean 'Freudian'? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 > It doesn't make me angry when people say 'nice to meet you' i just > find it unreasonable, unemotional, illogical and robotic, and I i didn't say you got angry when people say 'nice to meet you' ... you just seem to have a lot of anger... whether it shows in frustration ... being tired of things... fed up with ... read something about it... > don't have a problem with people saying it, I'm just wondering if > they'd have a problem with me saying 'not really' or 'is it?' in > reply. Whats a literalist? someone who takes things too literally... like 'nice to meet you' ... it's not meant to be taken literally... and nor is 'break a leg' ... nor 'how are you?' ... i wouldn't have a problem with you saying 'not really'... i'd just leave you alone... and if everyone did that........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 I don't know if this is on par with your concern, Jules, but I quite often say what I really feel when people ask me how I'm doing or when they say "good morning". It's off-putting to some, but others are amused by it. As long as it doesn't take much time, I don't think that most people care. Honesty's important...and I'm not always a cumpy grunt! ) xxk@xx (anyone ever pondered the spoonerism for "Lemon Curd Tart"???) djules_75 [djules_75]28 April 2002 13:24 Subject: Re: Superficiality and repressed anger OT It doesn't make me angry when people say 'nice to meet you' i just find it unreasonable, unemotional, illogical and robotic, and I don't have a problem with people saying it, I'm just wondering if they'd have a problem with me saying 'not really' or 'is it?' in reply. Whats a literalist? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 I think this is a really good idea, answering "how are you?" type questions honestly, because I think people say it and don't really care very much usually. It will make them think maybe. Which beginings of the words would you switch round, Temon Lurd Cart, or Cemon Turd Lart? Apart from Turd and Cart, these made up words don't make sense to me! Lesley k@ [kittyveg]28 April 2002 15:43 Subject: RE: Re: Superficiality and repressed anger OT I don't know if this is on par with your concern, Jules, but I quite often say what I really feel when people ask me how I'm doing or when they say "good morning". It's off-putting to some, but others are amused by it. As long as it doesn't take much time, I don't think that most people care. Honesty's important...and I'm not always a cumpy grunt! ) xxk@xx (anyone ever pondered the spoonerism for "Lemon Curd Tart"???) djules_75 [djules_75]28 April 2002 13:24 Subject: Re: Superficiality and repressed anger OT It doesn't make me angry when people say 'nice to meet you' i just find it unreasonable, unemotional, illogical and robotic, and I don't have a problem with people saying it, I'm just wondering if they'd have a problem with me saying 'not really' or 'is it?' in reply. Whats a literalist? ~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, there may be another side to the story you have not heard.---------------------------Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline>Un: send a blank message to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > i didn't say you got angry when people say 'nice to meet you' ... you just > seem to have a lot of anger... whether it shows in frustration ... being > tired of things... fed up with ... read something about it... Ah.. je comprends... my anger and frustration is because of my smoking, but also because of a lot of other things to do with problems that AREN'T mine, (eg the normality of eating industrially processed meat, lots of stuff to do with America, etc), I generally don't get angry with individuals or things that are directly to do with me, which I presume is what most self-help anger management books are about. I might still read one. But I don't want to curb my anger or repress myself, I'd rather direct it towards constructive purposes. I know HOW to do this, which is again what a book might teach me. Eg when i was working in a supermarket I had no anger problems, I was tired all the time from stacking cakes. But they were made of dairy, I felt guilty, so i gave that up. There are precious few vegan-friendly jobs about where i live (most of the local industry is catering (non-veggie restaurants)), I'm trying to find one at the moment. > someone who takes things too literally... like 'nice to meet you' ... it's > not meant to be taken literally... and nor is 'break a leg' ... nor 'how > are you?' ... > > i wouldn't have a problem with you saying 'not really'... i'd just leave you > alone... and if everyone did that........ Yesterday a connaissance of my mother said 'nice to meet you' and walked off (hence the Superficiality OT post). I will never see her again. I found that pretty damn rude, frankly. I'd have been less buzzed off if she'd have said either nothing, or just 'hello' or " sorry I don't really know you and probably never will get to know you, I don't even know your mother very well, but chance has had it that we have to spend a brief period of time togethor, hence am I speaking to you right now, but I pray that we go no furthur because I don't want to involve myself with you should we enjoy ourselves togethor too much and commence the beginnings of a friendship which would probably never get off the ground anyway " . I'd have been pretty surprised if she'd have said the latter, but having just written that myself I'm beginning to understand why some people prefer to say 'nice to meet you' and why the expression's still around. I suppose not everyone likes to improvise, fair enough. I think I'm more of a genuinist than a literalist at the moment. Jules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 Whats a 'spoonerism'? Jules the fully weaned person yet who's just sucked on four hundred toxic burning chemicals including rocket fuel, bleach, radioactive isotopes and heroine-style addictive substances (I only sometimes smoke marlboros, I usually smoke relatively natural rolling tobacco which has vanilla flavouring in it, when I've given up smoking I probably won't be typing so much) , " Lesley Dove " <Lesley@v...> wrote: > I think this is a really good idea, answering " how are you? " type questions > honestly, because I think people say it and don't really care very much > usually. It will make them think maybe. > Which beginings of the words would you switch round, Temon Lurd Cart, or > Cemon Turd Lart? Apart from Turd and Cart, these made up words don't make > sense to me! > > Lesley > > > k@ [kittyveg@b...] > 28 April 2002 15:43 > > RE: Re: Superficiality and repressed anger OT > > > I don't know if this is on par with your concern, Jules, but I quite often > say what I really feel when people ask me how I'm doing or when they say > " good morning " . It's off-putting to some, but others are amused by it. As > long as it doesn't take much time, I don't think that most people care. > Honesty's important...and I'm not always a cumpy grunt! ) > > xxk@xx > (anyone ever pondered the spoonerism for " Lemon Curd Tart " ???) > > djules_75 [djules_75] > 28 April 2002 13:24 > > Re: Superficiality and repressed anger OT > > > It doesn't make me angry when people say 'nice to meet you' i just > find it unreasonable, unemotional, illogical and robotic, and I > don't have a problem with people saying it, I'm just wondering if > they'd have a problem with me saying 'not really' or 'is it?' in > reply. Whats a literalist? > > > > > > ~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, > there may be another side to the story you have not heard. > --------------------------- > Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped? > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline> > Un: send a blank message to - > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 28, 2002 Report Share Posted April 28, 2002 > djules_75 [djules_75] > > Ah.. je comprends... my anger and frustration is because of my > smoking, but also because of a lot of other things to do with > problems that AREN'T mine, (eg the normality of eating industrially > processed meat, lots of stuff to do with America, etc), I generally > don't get angry with individuals or things that are directly to do > with me, which I presume is what most self-help anger management > books are about. I might still read one. But I don't want to curb my a big assumption... wrong in fact... most anger management is to do with dealing with anger that arises from sources that AREN'T to do directly with you... like the way the world is ... public transport... the meet industry... as well as from sources that are to do with you... i never said buy a book... there's a short piece on http://www.apa.org/pubinfo/anger.html ... i found it quite informative anyway in its brevity... > anger or repress myself, I'd rather direct it towards constructive > purposes. I know HOW to do this, which is again what a book might > teach me. Eg when i was working in a supermarket I had no anger > problems, I was tired all the time from stacking cakes. But they > were made of dairy, I felt guilty, so i gave that up. There are > precious few vegan-friendly jobs about where i live (most of the > local industry is catering (non-veggie restaurants)), I'm trying to > find one at the moment. " When we point this intense energy outward from us, it is ANGER. When we direct this energy back at ourselves, it is GUILT. Anger and Guilt look similar to each other in many ways and are different sides of the same internal coin. " > I'd have been pretty surprised if she'd have said the latter, but > having just written that myself I'm beginning to understand why some > people prefer to say 'nice to meet you' and why the expression's > still around. I suppose not everyone likes to improvise, fair enough. how about just a simple 'Hi' ... (minimalist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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