Guest guest Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 well it would seem obvious to her that you don't want her to talk about her friends ... you spouted your own reasons to control the situation ... in event controlling what she can say in front of you and what she can't say ... it's your problem .. and you shoved it on her ... now she has to pussy-foot around your inability to face up to your own past problems ... no i don't think you don't want her to talk about her friends... i think you live too much in your past ... and you carry it with you ... displaying it for everyone else to see and everyone else to work around ... but it seems from what you say that you have a history of running away from things... propagatingdabbler [remembermac]Wednesday, June 05, 2002 1:38 PM Subject: Apologies - unburdening !The shadow on my father's lung which has been under investigation since last July has recently started to grow and the consultant reckons it is probably a lung tumour. The diagnosis came two months after I had decided I could no longer cope with living with my parents and whilst I was negotiating an exit strategy.I decided I had to stay and initially planned how I would prepare all their meals (both meat eaters) with as little change as possible but avoiding hands on contact with meat. My sister came down for five days to do some of the jobs that due to my "low mood "were not getting down, kitchen cupboards, washing curtains, etc. Everything was going swimmingly until the last day when my sister (highly paid husband) started to go on and on about the wealth of one of her wealthier friends. As someone who lost his middle class status fifteen years ago when resorting to whistleblowing and walking away from dishonesty I find such conversations very uncomfortable. I thought about asking her to stop but let her go on and let it really get to me.She did later ask why I was so tense but on explaining my reasons she took umbrage that she was not allowed to talk about her friends. This let off a volcano inside of me and we had a terrific row. I feel as if I never want to speak to her again.Andrew~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, there may be another side to the story you have not heard.---------------------------Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped?~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline>Un: send a blank message to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for something that you believe in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 5, 2002 Report Share Posted June 5, 2002 i'll pay my dues... where and when it happens... but at the moment it ain't happening ... "You may find it hard to recognise that time is the cause of your suffering or your problems. You believe that they are caused by specific situations in your life, and seen from a conventional viewpoint, this is true. But until you have dealt with the basic problem-making dysfunction of the mind - its attachment to past and future and denial of the present moment - problems are actually interchangeable. If all your problems or perceived causes of suffering or unhappiness were miraculously removed for you today, but you had not become more present, more conscious, you would soon find yourself with a similar set of problems or causes of suffering, like a shadow that follows you wherever you go. Ultimately, there is only one problem: the time-bound mind itself." propagatingdabbler [remembermac]I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for something that you believe in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2002 Report Share Posted June 6, 2002 it breaks my heart to have to be so cruel. it tears me apart to have to play the fool. propagatingdabbler [remembermac]I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for something that you believe in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2002 Report Share Posted June 6, 2002 Have you ever visited the anti-bullying site www.successunlimited.co.uk It sounds like you were bullied in the workplace or even unfairly dismissed for standing up for something, maybe Oliver does not fully understand how that can affect you. Until you have been there you have no idea how it feels. I was bullied in the workplace too, I was not a whistleblower but I was certainly bullied for my animal rights/vegan beliefs and it messed up my career chances and severely affected my self-confidence so I never got myself back on track again. It's also hard to prove bullying when there are several people out to get you and framing you up and making you look incompetent, this was my experience. I was unfairly demoted out of nurse training to the post of nursing auxiliary because of the effects of the bullying and it was never fully acknowledged that I was getting bullied, especially as those in power also disapproved of the way I lived outside of work and were happy to have a good excuse to demote me (ie bad reports about me from certain people)! No-one had the guts to speak up for me, someone nearly did and then she pulled out of supporting me, I think she was afraid of being the next target of the bullies if she tried to help me. Your sister sounds like she is boasting about her own and her friend's wealth, just rubbing in that she is wealthier than you, and you know that is the height of bad manners actually, polite people do not do that, so actually she is the one who is common and rude regardless of wealth. It makes me think of the Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke skit where they play that dreadful nouveau riche but really dead common couple who say, " I am considerably richer than yow! " . If you can detach yourself easily, just try to nod and smile at her and think of something totally absurd like a hippopotamus next time she rattles on about her rich friend. Got that idea from Reggie Perrin of course. No disrespect intended to hippos. Lesley propagatingdabbler [remembermac] 05 June 2002 23:05 Re: Apologies - unburdening ! I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for something that you believe in. ~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, there may be another side to the story you have not heard. --------------------------- Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline> Un: send a blank message to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2002 Report Share Posted June 6, 2002 well not surprising for victims to feel bullied... i was bullied through school ... i have my defences... thanks ... i had to leave the school after a term of being there... i moved school ... decided for myself that no-one knows who i am or anything about me... so their opinion about who i am means f**k all... so i could be who i chose to be... and i continue to be who i choose to be... i would stand up for my own beliefs ... i just don't have many... i believe the world changes ... i believe that some win and some lose .. and believe i could be on either side... ... and i also believe that my beliefs limit me ... they are my shell... and that shell needs shattering now and again... you won't find me protecting a chicken or two when hundreds and thousands of people are dying in Kashmir ... and hundreds thousands dying in Palestine... i am not going to scoop the scum from the river ... whilst the pollution is still being pumped in upstream... but i will fight the source of the pollution... should it make a difference... > > Lesley Dove [Lesley] > Thursday, June 06, 2002 11:10 AM > > RE: Re: Apologies - unburdening ! > > It sounds like you were bullied in the workplace or even > unfairly dismissed > for standing up for something, maybe Oliver does not fully > understand how > that can affect you. Until you have been there you have no idea how it > feels. > > I was bullied in the workplace too, I was not a whistleblower > but I was > certainly bullied for my animal rights/vegan beliefs and it > messed up my Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 6, 2002 Report Share Posted June 6, 2002 i am however interested in hearing your story ... (don't let me put you off....) propagatingdabbler [remembermac]I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for something that you believe in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 >i am not going to scoop the scum from the river ... >whilst the pollution is still being pumped in >upstream... but i will fight the source of the >pollution... should it make a difference... Sire, what's that in the distance? why, hither comes your winged white steed now! gather up your sword of justice and shield of truth :-) (sorry, couldn't resist) - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 that's not the image i have ... my picture is one of a fat slob in an armchair... Ashley Hooper [ash_hooper]>i am not going to scoop the scum from the river ... >whilst the pollution is still being pumped in>upstream... but i will fight the source of the>pollution... should it make a difference...Sire, what's that in the distance? why, hither comesyour winged white steed now! gather up your sword ofjustice and shield of truth :-) (sorry, couldn't resist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 Hey when did you install a webcam in my lounge??? , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > that's not the image i have ... my picture is one of a fat slob in an > armchair... > > > > Ashley Hooper [ash_hooper] > > > >i am not going to scoop the scum from the river ... > >whilst the pollution is still being pumped in > >upstream... but i will fight the source of the > >pollution... should it make a difference... > > Sire, what's that in the distance? why, hither comes > your winged white steed now! gather up your sword of > justice and shield of truth > > :-) (sorry, couldn't resist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 Oi! Who's been filming me in secret! Viv [who shouldn't be posting here, being an obscene nasty bastard, but maybe the mod's still away... Oliver Slay [oliver]Friday, June 07, 2002 8:24 AM' 'RE: RE: Re: Apologies - unburdening ! that's not the image i have ... my picture is one of a fat slob in an armchair... Ashley Hooper [ash_hooper]>i am not going to scoop the scum from the river ... >whilst the pollution is still being pumped in>upstream... but i will fight the source of the>pollution... should it make a difference...Sire, what's that in the distance? why, hither comesyour winged white steed now! gather up your sword ofjustice and shield of truth :-) (sorry, couldn't resist) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 7, 2002 Report Share Posted June 7, 2002 he said a week didn't he? ... till wednesday? Viv [vc27]Friday, June 07, 2002 7:25 PM Subject: RE: RE: Re: Apologies - unburdening ! Oi! Who's been filming me in secret! Viv [who shouldn't be posting here, being an obscene nasty bastard, but maybe the mod's still away... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2002 Report Share Posted June 8, 2002 >that's not the image i have ... my picture is one of >a fat slob in an armchair... ah, so just like the rest of us then eh?? :-) - Official partner of 2002 FIFA World Cup http://fifaworldcup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2002 Report Share Posted June 8, 2002 , " propagatingdabbler " <remembermac@c...> wrote: > I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for > something that you believe in. Hi Andrew- hope you are well despite everything... I've got sympathy with what you are saying, but surely you must have known better than to unburden yourself to this bunch of heartless trolls and reprobates... There not exactly renowned for their sympathy and counselling skills around here y'know ;-) Graham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 8, 2002 Report Share Posted June 8, 2002 I second that Graham. I don't know exactly what happened to Andrew to make him extra sensitive to what his sister was saying, but if he suffered, lost a career, etc, for standing up for his principles, whether it was that he stood up for veganism/animal rights or blew the whistle against some mistreatment of people or the environment, then he has my sympathy too. To me it seems unthinkable that vegans would not be supportive of him! Lesley quercusrobur2002 [grahamburnett] 08 June 2002 19:02 Re: Apologies - unburdening ! , " propagatingdabbler " <remembermac@c...> wrote: > I just hope you never have to pay a huge price for standing up for > something that you believe in. Hi Andrew- hope you are well despite everything... I've got sympathy with what you are saying, but surely you must have known better than to unburden yourself to this bunch of heartless trolls and reprobates... There not exactly renowned for their sympathy and counselling skills around here y'know ;-) Graham ~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, there may be another side to the story you have not heard. --------------------------- Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline> Un: send a blank message to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 Graham knows nothing about our counselling skills ... do you Graham....? although Lesley has already jumped to conclusions based on her own life..... but she does at least admit that she has no idea at all " what happened to Andrew to make him extra sensitive to what his sister was saying " ... well what if he was standing up for his right to smoke in a train carriage? ... you've no idea... Andrew hasn't yet said why he is tense... what it is that he keeps running away from... why he's snobby about people with money ... etc... if you stand up for what you believe in ... you don't go around all self-pitying afterwards... cos you did what you believed in ... that is a source of strength... not weakness... i would like to know more, Andrew... you can't keep people guessing ... (well you could ... that's up to you...) > > Lesley Dove [Lesley] > > I don't know exactly what happened to Andrew to make him > extra sensitive to > what his sister was saying, but if he suffered, lost a > career, etc, for > standing up for his principles, whether it was that he stood up for > veganism/animal rights or blew the whistle against some > mistreatment of > people or the environment, then he has my sympathy too. > To me it seems unthinkable that vegans would not be supportive of him! > > Lesley > > > quercusrobur2002 [grahamburnett] > > Hi Andrew- hope you are well despite everything... I've got sympathy > with what you are saying, but surely you must have known better than > to unburden yourself to this bunch of heartless trolls and > reprobates... There not exactly renowned for their sympathy and > counselling skills around here y'know ;-) > > Graham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 10, 2002 Report Share Posted June 10, 2002 , Oliver Slay <oliver@l...> wrote: > Graham knows nothing about our counselling skills ... do you Graham....? Nope but I've long thought that elists arn't the appropriate places to come if that is what one is seeking... You'll get neither validation nor sympathy nor that thing what you said about, your more likely to get called a c*nt here! BTW my last post was intended to be tongue in cheek, hence the ;-) on the end... Graham Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 >i would like to know more, Andrew... you can't keep people guessing ... >(well you could ... that's up to you...) Andrew left the list last Wednesday. He does that a lot - Joins, Says something, Leaves. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 >Oliver: >he said a week didn't he? ... till wednesday? Yup, I'm back. >Viv: >[who shouldn't be posting here, being an obscene nasty bastard, but maybe >the mod's still away... If you're not banned there's no reason for not posting (even moderated people are welcome to post). You can be an obscene and nasty person, just don't be obscene and nasty on here. Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 I like Andrew but that is so annoying of him! Lesley Mavreela [nec.lists] 12 June 2002 10:51 RE: Re: Apologies - unburdening ! >i would like to know more, Andrew... you can't keep people guessing ... >(well you could ... that's up to you...) Andrew left the list last Wednesday. He does that a lot - Joins, Says something, Leaves. Michael ~~ info ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Please remember that the above is only the opinion of the author, there may be another side to the story you have not heard. --------------------------- Was this message Off Topic? Did you know? Was it snipped? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Guidelines: visit <site temporarily offline> Un: send a blank message to - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 12, 2002 Report Share Posted June 12, 2002 fair enough .... he'll keep us guessing then ... had a good time? Mavreela [nec.lists]>i would like to know more, Andrew... you can't keep people guessing ...>(well you could ... that's up to you...)Andrew left the list last Wednesday. He does that a lot - Joins, Says something, Leaves.Michael Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.