My reply to Sarah's post (didn't go through of course)

[Guest guest]

On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 20:09:46 -0700 Sarah Fitz-Claridge

<sarah

wrote:

 

>(Thanks for raising this interesting issue, Roxy!)

>

>On Mon, 12 Jul., 2004, at 09:51:26 +0100, Roxy wrote:

>

>>one of the the basic tenets of TCS is that if

>>a common preference can't be reached then the parents self-

sacrifice

>

>The above statement is not true. A basic tenet is that there is

>always a

>solution -- something that the individuals can do which is not

against

>the

>will of any of them.

>

>But another basic tenet is that human beings are fallible and

therefore

>do

>not always find that solution.

>

>Even when they don't find a solution, the fact that a solution

exists

>is

>still important. It means that we never regard the familiar

situation

>of

>people hurting each other as being an unavoidable fact of childhood

>or life

>or human nature, but always as a problem remaining to be solved.

>

>But that does raise the issue of how to cope with the immediate

>situation

>when those involved have not yet solved the problem. At that point,

> the

> " parents should self-sacrifice " idea might come in, but *not* as

>a " basic

>tenet " of TCS, merely as a tentative rule of thumb, applicable to

>many

>situations, and not a very controversial one at that.

 

What does it matter if it's a basic tenet or a tentative rule of

thumb

if in *practice* all TCS really amounts to is " if a common preference

can't be reached then the parents self-sacrifice " .

 

> Most parents,

> whether

>TCS or not, would agree that being a parent involves obligations

>to one's

>child which may involve sacrifice. In fact, most non-TCS approaches

>to

>parenting involve a lot of sacrifice -- such as parents slaving

>away at

>jobs that they hate so that they can afford the fees for schools

>that their

>children hate going to.

 

Many parents are happilly pursuing careers and don't think they have

to sacrifice them for the sake of being at home to guarantee the

child

is never in a state of coercion.

 

It also comes to mind to ask what do TCS people live off if they are

not enslaving themselves at jobs? What do you people do for a living?

Spell checking at Ebay?

[Guest guest]

Just curious, what is TCS?

 

Graham

 

, " Leonor Gomes " <mais1mae> wrote:

> On Mon, 12 Jul 2004 20:09:46 -0700 Sarah Fitz-Claridge

> <sarah@T...>

> wrote:

>

> >(Thanks for raising this interesting issue, Roxy!)

> >

> >On Mon, 12 Jul., 2004, at 09:51:26 +0100, Roxy wrote:

> >

> >>one of the the basic tenets of TCS is that if

> >>a common preference can't be reached then the parents self-

> sacrifice

[Guest guest]

On Jul 15, 2004, at 9:28 AM, quercusrobur2002 wrote:

 

> Just curious, what is TCS?

>

>

 

Taking children seriously ?

 

Paul