agony uncle

[Guest guest]

> My partner says that I am being unreasonable because I won't

> buy him or his daughter meat or dairy products and cook them

> for him and her.

 

 

> Get yourself someone else you are worth far more.

> Compassionate people deserve the best.

> Your friend sounds like a bully?

> Is he draining your self confidence?

 

Mark,

 

when you say " partner " do you mean lover or business partner?

 

excuse me but how full of sh*t can you get ... how boring. as the

vultures said, " patience my ass, i am going to kill something ... " .

Does he think veggies have never heard it all before? to be honest, it is

not even worth getting into a discussion with him about.

 

this is meathead argument C) after:

 

A) " carrots scream when you pull them out the ground too "

 

B) " aren't those shoes leather? "

 

draw your line very clearly and dont get drawn into it. in a way, i think

angie is on track here. there is an issue of invasion in his tack. if he

continues to cross you line or invade your circle you really got to

decide what to do. that depends how wrapped up with him you are. it

brings up all sort of question about your relationship which is why i

would have to ask to you define it.

 

" sure, if i boiled babies in my kitchen pot would you still come round

and eat sausages out of it? "

 

i have seen this written so many times and heard the same whimper time

and time again. you cant deal with people like this rationally because

they are either not rationally minded or if they are intelligent enough

are being dishonest.

 

it is a crass manipulation of self-centredness on his and their behalf.

you are surrendering to an absolute principles of compassion that has

little self interest at all. he is stuck in his own egotistic

self-gratifying subjectivity. you are trying to engender the same spirit

in your daughter, he is his.

 

interesting dynamic that happens a lot. depend what else is involved in

the stakes. i have cut friendships and relationships because the other

person was not capable of respect. i realised that it was not a

friendship at all and gained hugely by moving on. many vegans/veggies do.

 

you have got to accept it; where ever you have come from, you are

becoming more enlightened now and all your relationships are going to

change too. enlightenment tends towards objectivity. subjectivity is a

muddy mire or self-interest.

 

i still do have friends who are meat eaters but only where there is never

any question of respect. often they have other very good qualities to

make up for it as i try and judge people as a whole.

 

you got a choice of being the suffering saint or a ruthless rebel. screw

the former, i rather prefer the later. give him three chances and then

cut him out!

 

at least if you traumatise them a little it leave them a bit more

respectful of the next vegan they meet in their travels. i am sure he is

smart enough to realise the arguments in favour, so what is it all really

about? there are a lot of really nice underloved vegetarian and vegans

out there. go find them.

 

and i must say that if he tried to feed meat to my daughter i think that

i end the relationship full stop.

 

when i look back and the mistakes i made " being nice " or " suffering

saintly " for someone that did not want to change at all. i realise how

much time out of my life that i wasted.

 

agony uncle john

 

[ who actually does not have any children at all, thank god.]