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Somewhere in the Suburbs

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> I was under the impression Ken Livingstone wasn't a bad bloke

> but he seemed against the may day demonstrations and pleased

> at the police actions...anyone in a position to elaborate?

 

he is playing the game of keeping The City on his side. London is ruled

by a minority right wing establishment and media. Probably did a deal to

get something else off them by tut tutting the Wombles. They could make

life impossibly difficult for him and let's face it there are more

important things.

 

Did anyone read of the plan to ban smoking from Public places in London

and other major cities. Big hooray! Unbelievable if it happens. I'll be

out there with a water cannon dousing the recidivists myself. Basta!

 

That is another thing that puts me off dopeheads. At least with every

other drug it is only the indulger that gets stoned. With dope it is

everyone in the same room or even out in the street, in the car, mother

wth three kids trapped in a council flat or whatever. It is so selfish.

 

> Have you heard of Kim Hollingsworth, the vegan policewoman from Auz,

> who is fighting for the right to wear a vegan uniform, she has also

> fought police corruption and unfair dismissal, having got out of her

> former life as a stripper and prostitute.

 

hooray! this is one dame i want to take home to meet mother dearest. If

you get her over to speak to the London Vegan's I bet you it'll be easier

to find her somewhere to stay. like something straight out of Prisoners

of Cell Block H or what ever it was called. that is the great thiing

about practically all vegan i have met, they are all nuts but great

characters.

 

> How's your wife/girlf getting on with her pregnancy by the way?

 

It is amazing how easy it is not to if you co-operate with mothernature's

cycles. Done well, the failure rate is not that different from johnnies.

 

Actually, this vegan condom thing has the making of a Mike Leigh film in

it. Scene One, omnivorous male trying to seduce vegan female getting no

where;

 

The Big Scene, Somewhere in the Suburbs Late at Night.

 

Squeak... squeak... squeak...

 

Her: " And dont even try that without protection ... you'll just have to

go down the pub and get some! "

 

Him: " Oh, OK dearest ... [ thinks: he, he. I'm starving and need some

real food inside me, I pick up a kebab on the way back ] "

 

15 minutes later puffing and panting,

 

" OK, I'm back! "

 

" Yes, and you stink like Arnie Schwarzernegger too! Have you been eating

kebabs or something? "

 

" No, no sweetie. Me? you know that I would never do that. I promised

that I had changed for you ... I'll just pop into the bathroom, have a

quick shower and get in the mood. Just light this sensual aromatherpeutic

candle for you [ noise of manic teeth scrubbing ]. "

 

" OK babee .. here I come ...! "

 

" Eeek! [ Pause ] Look, I am sorry but is that vegan? "

 

" Ugh? Well it certainly is not an organic courgette ... "

 

" Wait! Are you sure, it is vegan? That ... [ pointing ] the rubber

thing. I cant see anything on the label. Did you read the packet? "

 

" Packet ... love? " [ wilting sigh ! ]

 

" I'm telling you right now, you are not putting them anywhere near me

until I check! Its just not vegan is it ... ? Can you assure me that

there are no milk products in them? You know that I am only doing this to

convert you to being vegan. "

 

" Well, I certainly have not tested them on animals if that is what you

are thinking ... "

 

" Hold on, where are my glasses ... put on the light. No, no, let me see

the box, I want to read the ingredients first. "

 

" ... but darling ... "

 

" NOTHING! typical. OK, Let's try the website and see if it says anything

there ... "

 

30 minutes later

 

" ... I'll just email the vegan network list and ask Suzy, she'll know I

am sure ... "

 

Her: breeb... breeb... drmmmn... drmmn... drmmn... skwrk...

 

Him: snore... snore... snore...

 

 

john - father of none.

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I can contact Carla Lane if you want to get this on TV?

 

>Actually, this vegan condom thing has the making of a Mike Leigh film in

>it. Scene One, omnivorous male trying to seduce vegan female getting no

>where;

>

>The Big Scene, Somewhere in the Suburbs Late at Night.

>

>Squeak... squeak... squeak...

>

>Her: " And dont even try that without protection ... you'll just have to

>go down the pub and get some! "

>

>Him: " Oh, OK dearest ... [ thinks: he, he. I'm starving and need some

>real food inside me, I pick up a kebab on the way back ] "

>

>15 minutes later puffing and panting,

>

" OK, I'm back! "

>

" Yes, and you stink like Arnie Schwarzernegger too! Have you been eating

>kebabs or something? "

>

" No, no sweetie. Me? you know that I would never do that. I promised

>that I had changed for you ... I'll just pop into the bathroom, have a

>quick shower and get in the mood. Just light this sensual aromatherpeutic

>candle for you [ noise of manic teeth scrubbing ]. "

>

" OK babee .. here I come ...! "

>

" Eeek! [ Pause ] Look, I am sorry but is that vegan? "

>

" Ugh? Well it certainly is not an organic courgette ... "

>

" Wait! Are you sure, it is vegan? That ... [ pointing ] the rubber

>thing. I cant see anything on the label. Did you read the packet? "

>

" Packet ... love? " [ wilting sigh ! ]

>

" I'm telling you right now, you are not putting them anywhere near me

>until I check! Its just not vegan is it ... ? Can you assure me that

>there are no milk products in them? You know that I am only doing this to

>convert you to being vegan. "

>

" Well, I certainly have not tested them on animals if that is what you

>are thinking ... "

>

" Hold on, where are my glasses ... put on the light. No, no, let me see

>the box, I want to read the ingredients first. "

>

" ... but darling ... "

>

" NOTHING! typical. OK, Let's try the website and see if it says anything

>there ... "

>

>30 minutes later

>

" ... I'll just email the vegan network list and ask Suzy, she'll know I

>am sure ... "

>

>Her: breeb... breeb... drmmmn... drmmn... drmmn... skwrk...

>

>Him: snore... snore... snore...

>

>

>john - father of none.

>

>

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