15 reason to eat meat like a good american.....

[Guest guest]

15 Reasons to Eat Meat

 

1. My parents fed me dead animals N years ago and they obviously knew

what

was good for me, just like the plastic white bread, red dye, DDT, and

cigarettes.

2. McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's, have all done exhaustive

nutritional research on diet in their extensive efforts to produce

the most

nutritious, healthy, and low fat food in the known space-time

continuum at

the lowest price possible for people everywhere. They pay well and

only

hire people who are so strong as to not need health insurance paid by

the

company they work full-time for.

3. It's obvious that drinking the bodily fluids of female bovines

that are

used to fatten up young calves is extremely healthy for adult human

beings

of another species entirely.

4. The slaughter of 4 billion animals per year globally for food is

okay,

just like terrorism, as long as it isn't in my backyard.

5. All those studies of human diet for decades in China that clearly

show

a vegetarian diet is the healthiest were obviously sponsored by

organizations that are only interested in telling us what to do, and

don't

care about the freedom to enjoy that which can kill you if used

improperly,

but it's my option and my right as an American to do what feels,

tastes,

smells, is seen as, and is heard as gud. Real gud.

6. You mean you don't like ground up dead cows grilled and put on a

whole-wheat bun slathered with high fructose syrup tomato sauce,

ground up

mustard seed sauce, onions, and sliced vinegared & garliced sugared

yellow-dyed cucumbers?

7. The millions of tons of livestock excrement and urine dumped into

our

ecosystem will produce, through the laws of evolution, even stronger

plants, animals, and humans. Nature likes a challenge, and the

decreased

clean water, lesser productive soil, and more unbreathable air will

just

make all living things tougher through Natural Selection. No

problemo.

8. The FDA has a great track record for knowing what's good for us:

at

least 50% of the drugs they approve don't have any unforeseen side

effects.

(note: real stat)

9. Fermented/congealed cow and goat fluid discharges, rotting chunks

of

pig, decaying slabs of cow, and often infected pieces of chicken

anatomy

are so good for you, we need the USDA to spend millions of our tax

dollars

every year promoting their consumption, and warn you that you need to

cook

'em at high temperatures to kill any bad microorganisms in them that

the

USDA doesn't have the resources to check for, that slaughterhouses

don't

check for, and that can kill you and currently make hundreds of

thousands

of people sick every year. If vegetables were so important we'd spend

more than a million dollars a year promoting them (note: that's a

real

stat).

10. Just look at the numbers of doctors and nutritionists, as well as

television commercials, advocating eating at least 4 to 5 servings of

meat

every day. They couldn't do that if it weren't true and they weren't

paid

enough.

11. Eating meat is like driving an SUV (substitute " smaller car " for

" plant-based food sources " ): it's more dangerous than plant-based

food

sources, uses up more natural resources than plant-based food

sources, puts

out more greenhouse gas pollution than plant-based food sources

(potentially endangering all life on this planet), promotes

environmental

degradation, and is a symbol of my God-given freedom in this greatest

country in the world to do whatever I want to whatever I want as long

as I

don't do the killing unless it's the right season in the right place.

12. There was this guy in North Dakota who ate nothing but meat all

his

life, smoked, and drank like a fish. With enough practice, we can do

the

same. It's " no pain no gain. " Genetics, schmetics....

13. Bringing home a big chunk of cutup dead cow muscles, a bird's cut-

up

chest flesh, or ground-up pig organs stuffed into intestinal sacs,

and

cooking the hell outta them for my family, is one of the greatest

joys and

freedoms in the world, and demostrates how much I love my

husband/wife and

children, and want them to be healthy and live happy productive

disease-free long lives. God Bless Us All.

14. Ain't nuthin' like clarified bovine fluid fried dead chicken

embryos

with pig fat fried stripped slices of pig flesh on the side, and a

steaming

cup of coffee bean juice with female cow lactations and a buncha

refined

sugar to getcha ready for a cold winter day at the office. All part

of

balanced meal.

15. It tastes gud. Real gud.