Guest guest Posted March 26, 2002 Report Share Posted March 26, 2002 Dear Anon First of all thanks for sharing this with us. I feel quite emotional after having read everything you have written. I am glad you did write, though. I don't have all the answers to your questions, I wish I did, but I felt I needed to reply to you. >I am writing this because I don't know what else to do, and perhaps >because I need help. I am not a psychologist, and I don't mean this in a cheeky way, but maybe some professional counselling would help. At least so that it may help you cope in this society that we have to live in. But gathering from some of the things you say, it would probably be easier for you to explain this to a vegan counsellor, so you'd know that they'd truly understand. They do exist, you know! >I am vegan, I chose this because when I was young someone showed me >what happened in factory farms, and I was curious, as well as >horrified, as to what happens in them. So I found out more, and >decided to become vegetarian, and then became vegan. It's strange, but I think it's possible to get addicted to what horrifies us most. Call it morbid fascination if you want. I get angry and upset watching films about what happened in concentration camps during the war and yet I don't stop watching them and I always want to find out more. The same goes for animal cruelty issues. I sometimes ask myself why I continue to find out more when I know it upsets me. It's always after reading an article about animal suffering when I get most emotional. I try to avoid reading such disturbing articles when there are meat eaters present because I just feel like standing up and shouting at them and asking them if they realise what they are doing. But I know that's not the best way to go about it. It's difficult to just switch off sometimes, though. >But I now feel completely >apart from people in my everyday life. >That is very sad. I have to admit, that whenever I remember that most of my >friends eat meat, I feel distant from them and disappointed that these >otherwise lovely people are involved in something that I hate so much. I >wish they felt the same way I did and knew what I knew. [i have difficulty >explaining things in an appropriate way, sometimes] I wish they could >understand. But that would be in an ideal world, wouldn't it? >I've got a vivid imagination, which although when I was younger I >would use for creative purposes, has been scarred and irreversibly >replaced by acknowledgement of what is happening behind closed doors >and in other places that I do not see. I can relate to what you are saying. I know it's easier said than done, but we can't let what goes on in this world take over our lives. Of course we want to see an end to the suffering of others, but we shouldn't torture ourselves in the process. You say your once creative imagination has been irreversably replaced. Yeah, knowing what you know is always going to be there, but try to focus on some of the good things that are happening too. For example, I felt great when fox hunting was banned in Scotland and there are now more door to door services collecting cans, bottles and paper for recycling. There are T.V. adverts encouraging the public to be more environmentally friendly. Very slowly, the 'average person' is being educated in making this world a better place. It's a start. ... the source of >almost any coin or note, or whatever it is paid towards, can be >traced down to, or will cause, the killing, abuse, or maiming, of an >animal. You buy anything from the average shop, chances are a >percentage of it will be spent on meat or dairy by those who will >profit from it. I have often thought of this too. But I guess we have no option but to accept that because of where we live, it's unavoidable. We can only do our best. But it is slightly comforting to know that vegan numbers are growing. There are a lot more vegans now than there were 50 years ago. I wonder how many in another 50 years? >People were staring at me, some would >try to get out of my way, some would intentionally get in my way. I >felt anger, turmoil and despair, there was nothing I could do but >hurry on, and couldn't wait to get home. Where I could hide. All the >time I was thinking something along the lines of " blood on your >hands, blood on your hands " (like the expression). But I couldn't >work out if it was me, or everyone else. I was actually on the verge >of feeling guilty for everything everyone else had done. Wow. That must have been a really scary feeling for you. Sorry to hear about that. >But my >shyness and being used to solitude and alienation prevents me from >integrating into anything I choose to integrate into, like meeting >other vegans, socialising, alternative cultures, joining pressure >groups, what have you; and my internal " spirit " , or " soul " prevents >me from accepting myself as a conformist or becoming a member of >society, a status which I would normally have accepted if I hadn't >prostrated myself to the grim facts of what we, as a species, are >doing. Seems you are stuck in the middle and don't know which way to turn. You have found the courage to write this. I hope you'll use your courage to overcome your shyness and meet others with whom you have something in common with. You shouldn't let your shyness become an obstacle in your way. I'm quite shy, I love my own company, but I also need the company of like minded people, so that I don't feel like I'm 'the only one'. I just try ignore my fear and shyness and accept that it won't go away, so I might as well live with it and get on with things anyway, and not let my fear stop me from doing so. Since taking this attitude, I'm not nearly as shy as I used to be. >This is a shout, I'm doing it in anynomity for personal reasons. >Sorry for subjecting you to it if you have read it, What should I do? How should I cope? Are there vegans who feel an >integrated part of society, what do they think? >I felt I had to write this, because it is all getting too much, and >perhaps I felt I had to express something. > >Anon Don't be sorry for writing about how you feel. Like I said, I don't have the answers to your questions, but all I can suggest is to keep talking to us and I hope that you will reply. You sound like a very intelligent person, but also very emotional. Which isn't always a bad thing. But it's worrying when you are at the point of cracking up. Sounds weird, but it sometimes helps me to joke about the very things that make me angry. This is the only way I can deal with it. All the best! Dee _______________ Chat with friends online, try MSN Messenger: http://messenger.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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